


Never Safe

by Firewhisperer13



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Horror, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, Family, Thriller, ongoing work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 80,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24741445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firewhisperer13/pseuds/Firewhisperer13
Summary: The end of the world will have no mercy...She was on the run from a man who wanted to end her life when she found them, by some random chance. And even though she thought they would hate her, they took her in and gave her a second chance. But did she really earn it?All Rights Reserved, AMC, 2010-present
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Holy garbage can, that character list was LONG

_"You can run, pretty little girl, but I'll always find you. Even if it's the last thing I do, I will find you, and I will kill the one who matters most among those you find."_

Her legs were on fire, the pole she carried on her back slapping against her spine and making it feel as though it were about to break, but she couldn't stop. He would find her, he would catch her...

...he would kill her. No matter their relation, no matter how much he had cared for an nurtured her, he would bash her skull in so quickly she wouldn't know what had happened. Someone, _anyone_ , would be safer than him, even somehow being miraculously raised by the undead that roamed the Earth. Every now and then, the little blade that resided in her pole would flicker out and slice her just a bit before she could reach back and put it into its slot. All she needed to do was find some people and maybe then she would be safe.

Though she couldn't be sure if they would be trustworthy or not. If they accepted her, she could reside with them, but she would have to keep her guard up.

_Crash!_

She kicked down the feeble, rotting wood of the fence to stumble upon what appeared to be a small farm, the upkeep long neglected by the ongoing war with the Walkers. A grey barn's doors were swung open, the rotting corpses heads' blasted with bullet holes, forming an orgy on each other. A large group of survivors stood before the pile, decrepit and weeping. An old woman was clinging to a younger looking man's arm, screaming a name she couldn't catch and practically clawing for the barn. A man held out a gun towards someone-some _thing_ \- as a boy around her age clung to a woman's arms, looking as though he were in pain. There was clearly some sort of danger looming in front of them, but for some reason, no one was taking any action. 

And then she saw it.

Stumbling from the weathered building was a girl, no more than twelve years old, shambling towards them, skin greyed and covered in disgusting spots, eyes dead and blue, shirt slowly falling off her body. She must have been important to them if they were all shell-shocked... but she couldn't sit there and watch them die. Her protective instincts took over, and she rushed towards the group of people, removing her pole but not the blade. They were all still petrified, until she suddenly raced in and beat the girl over the head, bashing in what was left of her rotting skull and splattering her brain. When the adrenaline rush stopped, she looked up at the motley crew of people, all gaping at her, and realized the gravity of what she had just done. She had just killed someone who had clearly meant a lot to them. Bashed her head in as though she had meant nothing to them. The man who had been holding the shimmering gun stepped up, but she couldn't read his expression.

"Where the hell did you come from?" he asked in a gruff voice. In fear, she burst into tears, hysterically sobbing.

"God, what the hell is going on?" someone shouted. She felt the weight of everything that had just happened crushing her, the lack of food and water catching up to her, the days worth of running under the hot sun... it all jumped on her at once and she collapsed into the pile of corpses.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE WALKING DEAD SPOILERS AHEAD AND ALSO LOTS OF GORE AND VIOLENCE AND ABUSE AND SLURS (most of which I won't put in because I have more decency than that) AND OTHER GROSS AND POSSIBLY TRIGGERING STUFF! THIS IS A TV-MA SHOW AND IT CERTAINLY EARNED THAT RATING! PLEASE BE ADVISED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes flew open and I quickly sat up, afraid. As soon as I did, my head began pounding and I fell back down onto a soft mattress and fluffed pillow. It took me a few moments to come to grips with the fact that I was _not_ at home. 

"Hey, hey, Rick. She's up." I gently turned my head to my left to see the boy, the Asian man, and the one in the vest staring at me, while the presumed leader slept on a chair. The man in the vest nudged the leader and he stirred awake. All of them looked at me with wide eyes for a moment before the leader leaned forward. Remembering what I had done, I whimpered and tried to scoot away, but found myself too weak to really move.

"Whoa, whoa, hey." He put a hand out as though I were some sort of animal he was trying to calm. "It's okay, we're not gonna hurt you."

"We just.... want to know a few things," the Asian man chimed in. I continued to stare at them. I had been through too much to give myself away immediately. I... I couldn't tell them anything until I knew I could trust them. "What... what's your name?" I responded by blinking. The adults looked at each other and the one in the vest sighed. "Name... Like-like my name's Glenn, and-and this is Rick-" he pointed at the leader, "-and Daryl, and that's Carl." I shook my head gently. He must have thought I didn't understand what a name was, or maybe that I was stupid. "You-you don't have one?" I remained still.

"Damn it, Glenn, she's not talking!" The vest- Daryl- had a very thick accent, but I could make out what he was saying.

"Hey, give her some time. She's probably scared or traumatized... or mute?" I just shook my head, not responding to any question in particular.

"Well... we'll just call you New Girl for now," the boy chimed in. "Is that okay?" I nodded and felt a tiny smile cross my face. There was a knock, and a woman entered the room, approaching the leader and whispering something in his ear.

"O-okay, we'll be back later." He was addressing me now. "There's water here for you, and if you want food or you need to get up for some reason just... throw something at the door, okay? Hopefully someone will hear you." The three of them moved to leave, when Carl piped up.

"Can I stay here with her? That way if she needs anything, I'll be here to help." Rick sighed and looked at the woman, then down at Carl.

"Sure, son. Just take good care of her, okay?" He nodded and the adults left the room. As soon as the door shut, Carl sat in the chair closest to me and smiled.

"Are you doing okay?" His question was loud and sudden, shocking me and making me jump. Realizing that he had scared me, Carl's eyes went wide. "S-Sorry! You just came out of nowhere, and... and you don't look so good." I let out a single chuckle, not quite sure how to take that. "Sorry if that... offended you or anything." I shrugged and turned my head in the other direction to see an IV sticking out of my arm. "Oh yeah. They put that in because you were really dehydrated. You must have been running for a long while. Do you remember how long?" I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. I honestly had no idea. I had just took off in the middle of the night and not looked back until I reached this place. 

Suddenly, a series of coughs erupted from my chest, and I could feel myself going lightheaded.

"Whoa, whoa! Here..." Carl gently set me up so I was sitting and poured the water into my mouth, allowing me to swallow. "There we go." With what little muscle strength I had, I reached out and gently placed my hand in Carl's upright palm. He looked at me, confused, but as soon as his eyes met mine, I moved my gaze back up to the ceiling. We sat there in silence as I gently drifted back asleep, my hand awkwardly keeping Carl's pinned in place. But I felt safer this way, rather than laying there and feeling as though I were alone.

My heart lept out of my chest at the door suddenly flying open, and a panicked woman laying a petite, blonde girl down on the bed beside me. Carl shot up from his seat and stared the two of them as Glenn entered the room and sighed.

"I couldn't find him anywhere," he told the woman, before his gaze wandered to me. "Sorry if we started you." I offered a small smile and shrugged. A woman- the one who had come in earlier- peeked her head through the doorway.

"What's wrong with her?" the first woman asked.

"She might be in shock," the one from earlier informed her. "Where's Hershel?"

"We can't find him anywhere." The woman from earlier left the room as other one tried to talk to the girl, who was pale, eyes wide and slightly glassy as though she were somewhere far away.

"Hey, Kiddo. Can you hear me?" She got no response and sighed, looking up at Glenn. "We should find my father. I-I don't know what to do here." Glenn looked down at Carl.

"You keep entertaining her, okay?" We both smiled and Carl laughed, nodding. As soon as they were gone, he began to tell me the story of what he and these survivors had been doing up until this point. I learned everyone's names- though it might've been a bit difficult to remember them all, considering how many of them there were- and how they were trying to reach Atlanta, until the government had dropped Napalm on it, trying to eliminate all these biting freaks, or walkers, as his group called them. I smiled and frowned throughout the story at the appropriate times, and felt myself wanting to hear more. But Carl had long moved on to something that was far more interesting to him.

"So... how come you don't talk?" My eyes went wide for a second, before I began to trace the letters 'T-R-U-S-T' into his palm. "T-R-U- You don't talk to us because you trust us?" I shook my head. Quite the opposite, in fact. "You don't talk because you _don't_ trust us." I nodded. "Oh..." His gaze fell, and I suddenly felt very guilty, flipping my hand over to hold his. He looked down at it and smiled. "I hope we can earn your trust."

_I hope I can trust all of you..._


	3. Chapter 3

There was a lot of yelling when I woke up next. The sun had long set, leaving the room to be illuminated by only a small oil lamp that was slowly dying. The girl was still laying next to me, eyes wide and skin white as a sheet, and I could feel the intense heat radiating off of her. My stomach let out an intense growl and suddenly felt very hollow, and I needed food. I gently pushed myself out of the bed, shivering against the cold air in the house, and pulled the IV along with me and had all the intentions of getting to the dining room, but I paused and pressed myself closer to the wall upon hearing the topic of conversation.

"We can't keep her here once she's recovered." The man had a very deep, southern drawl. "She could be dangerous. She could be a spy for some other group of survivors."

"Shane, did you not see that look on her face?" the brunette woman from earlier asked. "She was running _from_ something, not _to_ something."

"She could still end up killing us."

"She is a child, Shane. Just as much as Carl is. If it were him, would you have turned him away?" The man- presumably Shane- went silent, and I took the chance to peep in through the doorway. An old man with a strange hat rested his gaze on me, and everyone else followed, a few people smiling at me. Carl flashed a goofy smile and sat straighter.

"What's up, New Girl?" he asked. "What do you need?" I looked around, trying to communicate that I was hungry, and pointed to the plates of food in front of them. "You're hungry?" I nodded when my head suddenly went fuzzy. Carl shot up from his seat as I stumbled and caught me. "Whoa! It's okay, I've got you." 

For a moment, I got lost in this moment. Wherever I had come from... no one was this nice, _ever_. They were heartless, save for my family...

...I think.

The woman- who I presumed to be Carl's mother- came by with a tray and gestured her head in the direction of the bedroom. I leaned onto Carl as I stumbled my way back into the room, and he helped me onto the bed next to the unconscious girl. As soon as the food was put down in front of me, I practically shoved it into my mouth. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I had eaten, but it seemed like the amount of food I had been provided, which I noticed was significantly more than the others at the table had, almost wasn't enough. Carl laughed from his seat beside the bed.

"You really _were_ hungry." I nodded enthusiastically, and he laughed again. "Make sure to drink that water as well. I want you to recover." I turned my head to him with a questioning glance. _Only_ him? "I-I mean we all want you to recover." I sighed and thought back to the words the scary man- Shane- had said. That I couldn't be trusted. Carl must've noticed the fall in my gaze, because he tried to rationalize. "Don't worry about what Shane said. Everyone else seems to really like you. Before you came in, everyone was talking about keeping you around... making you one of us?" I cocked my head as if to ask why. "Well, you were clearly running from something dangerous, and there were no Walkers following you, so we figured... you were running from home." I nodded. "I- _we_ \- want to protect you from whatever it was at your home that you were running from." I shivered, and there was a knock on the door, which cued the short-haired woman to enter.

"We, uh, we pulled some hot water together for you. Figured you would want to take a bath..." I nodded and tried to stand, but ended up falling. Carl caught me again and looked up at the woman.

"Maggie, she's not strong enough to stand on her own yet."

"She just has to make it to the bathroom. Here, let's take the IV out, and then you can help her to the door." Maggie gently removed the needle from the crook of my elbow, causing me to grimace from the pain. "There ya go. Now, Carl will help you to the bathroom and I'll wait for you to come out... or I'll send Laurie to come get you." I nodded, holding back what I was really thinking; there was something I didn't trust about Laurie, though I couldn't really put my finger on it. She seemed to be hiding something, even though she had tried to defend me. 

Carl took my hand and gripped it tight as he led me down the hall, hoping to keep me from falling on the ground.

"Wow, Maggie was right. You _are_ cold. I hope you're not getting sick..." I smiled and shook my head. "No, really." We reached a white door and Carl opened it for me. "Maggie or my mom will be waiting out here for when you're finished." I smiled and looked at his face, trying to find a way to say thank you. There was this one thing I had seen in the movies, but... that was gross. Nonetheless, I had no other options, so I went ahead and did it. Gently, I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He turned bright red, and a smile painted itself onto his face. "Okay... don't drown."

The next morning, the blonde girl was still lying next to me, eyes wide and staring at the ceiling, her skin growing paler. I was awoken to the door opening, revealing Carl standing there with a tray, holding some sort of food. 

"Hey, you're up!" He beamed, setting the tray down on my legs. "I... brought you leftovers." I nodded and lifted my fork, putting some of the scrambled eggs into my mouth. "I have to go help out with chores, but I thought I should bring you your food and come to check on how you were doing." I smiled and looked up at the IV. I was feeling a lot stronger than I had the past couple of days, and I hoped that I could get up and help by tomorrow, or maybe even later today. "Well, I should probably go before I get yelled at. Maggie and Patricia should be in here soon to check on you and Beth." I was learning names fast around here. "Come out and find me if you need anything, but don't push yourself." He looked around, as though he were trying to find something, then reached up and removed the sheriff's hat on his head and placed it on mine. "There ya go. So it's like I'm here with you the whole time." I chuckled and pushed it up so that it wasn't covering my eyes, and Carl left the room to go help outside. Sure enough, Maggie and a blonde woman, whom I assumed to be Patricia, came in and smiled at me.

"Hey, New Girl. How are you feeling?" I shrugged with a smile on my face. "I would hope that means better. Being cooped up here must suck, huh?" I nodded enthusiastically and the hat flopped around.

"Well, looks like Carl stopped by," Patricia chuckled. "He almost never takes that thing off." They both took a moment to laugh and exchange some sort of glance, then began attending to the girl- Beth. Another blonde woman peeked in the doorway.

"How is she?" she asked. They both looked at her and sighed.

"Dehydrated," Patricia answered. "I'll set up an I.V. Best I can do without Hershel." She shook her head and walked out of the room, then Maggie scooted closer. 

"Hey." She sat down by my feet and looked upon Maggie for a moment as she held Beth's hand.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Nah, I just wish my dad was here." 

_This Hershel must be her dad,_ I thought.

"She'll be okay. You just need to be strong for her."

"I was just reminding her about- never mind."

"No no. I- I'd love to hear." Maggie laughed.

"My dad would die if he heard this. My first summer back from college, I drove home, dumped my stuff off, went straight out to the stable for a ride. My family comes back from church, and Beth grabs my things and starts unpacking my stuff upstairs."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, until this one here starts rifling through my backpack. She finds this little plastic container with these pink and green candies inside. She didn't even know I was on the pill. She was so freaked out by the idea of me, boys and sex that she runs outside and chucks them in the duck pond." I laughed. "And I ride up, I see this, I'm screaming. She's crying and Shawn runs outside, thinks one of us is drowning. Soon as he figures out what's going on, the jerk busts out laughing so loud that my horse rears and gets mud all over the three of us. My dad comes out, 'what the heck is going on out here?' And she turns around, bats her eyelids and says, 'we're just swimming, Daddy.'" She looked down at her sister in admiration as I sat there wondering what the hell 'the pill' was. "In her Sunday dress, all covered in snot and mud."

"Rick and Glenn will get your dad back," The blonde assured Maggie. She had a crestfallen expression as she looked over the girl.

"Glenn's a good guy."

"Yeah. He is." With a final sigh, Maggie stood. "Okay, kiddo. If you need anything, call Andrea or myself, and holler if anything with Beth changes, okay?" I nodded, then slowly drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know when I woke up, but for once, it was just because my body wanted to, not because of yelling or excessive noise. Shaking the fog from my mind, I turned over to see the blonde girl now laying on her side, but eyes vacant and making her look as though she were dead inside. I decided it was best to leave her alone and said nothing, and sat up as the door opened. Carl's mom- Lori- came in holding a tray for Beth in one arm, and one for me in the other.

"Knock, knock," she greeted, indicating to the blonde that she was now in the room. The girl- Beth, I think was her name, rolled over and turned to face the tall woman bringing her food. Lori smiled and turned to face the both of us. "How about this- you, uh... you two eat up all your food, we'll get you up and out of here and go take a walk. What do you say? It'll do good to be outside." I smiled and nodded, then picked up the food so I could quickly finish it. Beth, however, remained still for a moment, before completely changing the topic.

"You're pregnant." I dropped my fork and nearly choked. _Lori was pregnant?_ I had to somewhat admire her bravery. I would never be able to allow myself to bring a child into this living hell. "How could you do that?"

"Uh, I don't really have a choice," Lori chuckled.

"You think it'll make a difference?"

"Of course it will." Lori seemed almost... offended by what Beth was asking. "You eat something." Lori left the room, and Beth stared at the tray for a little while. I nudged her and offered a smile, trying to cheer up the depressed, pale girl, but the one she offered was fleeting, faded fast. It more seemed like she was watching me for some reason, waiting for me to do something, but I couldn't figure out what. I had now finished my food and felt strong enough to stand. My feet touched the cool wood, and I gently pulled the IV from my arm. I cast a glance at Beth one more time before leaving the room and finding my way to the kitchen, where Lori was sitting and waiting. She smiled at me as I placed my dishes into the sink and handed me something. "I asked Hershel if he had any of Beth's old clothes, and he found these. Figured you'd want to take off those ones. You've been wearing them for- what- four days now?" I nodded and thanked her, taking the red tank top and shorts and ducked into the bathroom to change. Before I left, I caught a glance at myself in the mirror and sighed. My cheeks were sallower, but the bags under my eyes were gone from all the sleep I had been getting, and I had more energy than before. Carl's sheriff hat had been missing this morning, so I assumed he had come in to check on me and taken it, but I didn't mind. It _was_ his, after all. I nearly crashed into Lori as I left, and she took my hand and led me back into the room. "Let's check on Beth, okay?" I nodded and smiled, following her into the room. Beth was still staring straight ahead, and all of the food was still there. "Couldn't eat a thing, huh? You're gonna-" Lori stopped mid-sentence, realizing that Beth was crying. She left my side and crouched down beside the sobbing girl. "Hey. I know how hard it is. I tried to reach my mom, get her on the phone. I can only assume-"

"It's just so pointless," Beth interjected.

"Oh." Lori shook her head. "You have Maggie, your father, Patricia and Jimmy and you've gotta stay strong for them. I wish I could promise you it would be all right in the end. I can't, but we can make now all right. And we have to." Beth sniffled and looked down, then met Lori's eyes.

"Thank you." Lori smiled and grabbed the tray.

"New Girl and I will be right back. We'll go take that walk." We made it to the kitchen, and I reached over to help Lori clear the dishes, when I noticed something odd: the knife was missing from the place setting. I gently tugged on Lori's sleeve and drew her attention to the missing utensil, and she sighed, quickly moving back into the bedroom. "Beth?" The blonde was now laying down as though she were sleeping, so Lori ducked down and tried to see if she had dropped the knife on her way out and not noticed, but didn't find it. "You give it to me, sweetheart. You don't wanna do this." I was so confused. _Do what?_

Beth pulled the knife out from under the covers and handed it to Lori, almost regretfully. Lori rushed out of the room, and I followed like a lost puppy, all the way outside where a small camp was set up.

"Andrea, have you seen Maggie or Hershel?" she called to the woman, who was standing on top of an RV with a shotgun.

"Maybe twenty minutes ago."

"Could you find her for me? I've gotta get back to the house."

"Of course." She ran back to the house with me in tow, rushing back into the room where Beth was staying. I decided to wait outside the room and let them deal with their business. Maggie suddenly rushed by me, bursting into the room and shutting the door behind her. Lori explained whatever was going on in a very low voice, then came out and looked down at me before giving me a hug.

"Everything's going to be okay." I nodded and smiled, still confused.

"Are you crazy?" I heard Maggie shouting. "What if Dad finds out?"

"What's he gonna do? Kill me for committing suicide?" Beth said that like I was a joke, but I had to sit down. I had seen enough to know what 'suicide' was.

"Stop being such a brat. He'd die. So would I. This isn't just about you. We all lost mom."

"We'll lose each other and I couldn't stand that."

"So you give up?" Lori picked me up off the ground and helped me into the kitchen, where she, Andrea, and I sat around, listening to them arguing.

"Where's Hershel?" Andrea asked suddenly.

"He doesn't want to find out yet. It's a family affair. We'll let them work it out."

"That's working it out?"

"When Beth stops fighting, that's when it's time to worry."

" _You are being so selfish!"_

"This could've been handled better."

"How so?"

"You shouldn't have taken the knife away." I was shocked. How could Andrea say that?

"Excuse me?"

"You were wrong, like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision. She has to choose to live on her own. She has to find her own reasons."

"Want me to tie a noose for her?"

"If she's serious, she'll figure out a way." 

"Doesn't mean I can't stop her. Or let her know that I care."

"That has nothing to do with it, Lori. She only has so many choices in front of her. And she believes the best one is suicide."

"That's not an option."

"Of course it is. She doesn't need to be yelled at or treated like a child."

"She needs a loaded gun, right?" That clearly struck some sort of nerve with Andrea. "You'll understand if I don't send you in there."

"I came through it."

"And became such a productive member of the group. Let Maggie handle this her way."

"I contribute. I help keep this place safe."

"The men can handle this on their own. They don't need your help."

"I'm sorry. What would you have me do?"

"Oh, there's plenty of work around."

"Are you serious? Everything falls apart, you're in my face over skipping laundry?" Lori sighed.

"Puts a burden on the rest of us. On me, Carol, Patricia, and Maggie. Cooking, cleaning, and caring for Beth and New Girl. And you- you don't care about anyone but yourself. You sit up on that RV working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap."

"No, I am on watch against Walkers. That is what matters. Not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade."

"And we are providing stability. We are trying to create a life worth living."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Look, I went after Rick. I took down two walkers."

"After crashing Maggie's car."

"Don't act like you're the only one who can take care of herself."

"Ever apologize for that?"

"Crashing her- You're insane."

"No, you are. And you're the one that's self-centered. The way you take it all for granted."

"My husband is out there for the hundredth time. My son was shot." I took in a sharp breath. Carl was shot? How was he still alive? "Don't you dare tell me I take this for granted."

"You don't get it, don't you? Your husband came back from the dead, your son too. And now you've got a baby on the way. The rest of us have piled up our losses- me, Carol, Beth- but you just keep on keeping on."

"We have all suffered."

"Playing house, acting like the queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself. You know what? Go ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything's gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She'll get a husband, a son, a baby, boyfriend. She just has to look on the bright side." I clasped my hands at the table to hide how hard they were shaking. All of the things Andrea was mocking were possible, but she was making it seem like they were a pipe dream. Andrea sighed and left the room, leaving Lori and I in silence. I looked down at my hands, then stood and started to walk out to get some fresh air, but ended up almost crashing into Maggie.

"Sorry, New Girl. I didn't see you." She ruffled my hair, affectionately, then looked at the brunette woman across the room. "Lori, can you come in here and help me with Beth?" She nodded and Maggie took my hand, bringing her with me into the room I had been confined to for days. However, Beth wasn't in the bed anymore, and the small bathroom- the one with only a toilet and a sink- door was now shut. "Beth? Beth?" There was the sound of glass shattering from behind the door, and Maggie pressed herself against it.

"Maggie?"

"She's in there. I heard glass." She pounded on the door. 

"Beth, you all right?" "

Don't do this, Beth. Don't do this. Open up, please." I could faintly hear Beth sobbing from the other side. "God, I left her with Andrea."

"Where's a key?" Maggie began rummaging through items on the vanity.

"I don't know." Defeated, Maggie went back to banging on the door, and I tried to find the key. "Beth honey, please open the door. I'm not mad. I'm not mad, Beth." Not finding the key, I grabbed a fire poker and shoved Maggie out of the way, prying the door open. Beth turned around, revealing her holding her bleeding wrist.

"I'm sorry." Maggie hugged her sister and then led her from the room.

"Okay. It's okay." I ran from the house and onto the front porch, panting and crying. My legs were barely supporting me, so I grabbed onto one of the banisters. I heard footsteps approaching, then stop when they saw me.

"New Girl? What's wrong?" I looked up at Carl and sobbed harder, causing him to pull my arms off the banister and hug me. "It's going to be okay. It'll be okay. Come on, let's get you inside."


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning with a cool breeze lifting my hair gently. I had turned into a sobbing mess last night- though I still hadn't talked- and Carl, Rick, and Lori had let me sleep in their tent because I didn't want to go anywhere near that room. No one else was there, so I assumed everyone had already woken up and let me sleep in for whatever reason. I quickly changed and emerged from the tent to see people standing and sitting around a fire as Lori poured herself a drink.

"So what you gonna do?" the scary bald man- Shane- asked Rick.

"We'd all feel better if we knew the plan."

"Is there a plan?"

"We gonna keep him there?"

"We'll know soon enough." I gravitated toward Glenn and Carl, who smiled at me and placed his hat on my head. The gruff man who I had seen for a brief moment when I first woke up- Daryl, I think was his name- came closer with a crossbow slung over his back.

"Boy there's got a gang, thirty men." I was confused. What were we talking about? "They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead." I noticed dried blood on his knuckles and grew slightly fearful. You clearly couldn't mess up around here. "And our women, they're gonna- they're gonna wish they were."

"What did you do?" the old lady asked.

"Had a little chat." Something told me that was a _vast_ understatement.

"No one goes near this guy," Rick ordered.

"Rick, what are you gonna do?"

"We have no choice. He's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat." That statement horrified me. How could they just take a human life like that?

"You're just gonna kill him?" the man in the weird hat cut in, almost reading my mind.

"It's settled," Rick snapped. "I'll do it today." He walked away, and weird hat followed. There was a part of me that died right at that moment. I wanted to trust them more than anything, but Rick's disregard for a human life really set me back. Carl came back to stand beside me and smiled.

"Are you hungry? Do you want food?" I shook my head and crossed my arms close against my body- my signal that something was wrong. Carl looked down for a moment, then smiled at me. "Come on. I wanna show you something." He took my hand and led me to the barn where I had first killed that one Walker and passed out. "Okay, when we get in there, we can't react." I nodded and he helped me up the ladder. We both sat down and I stared at the guy chained up below. His face had been bludgeoned and beaten, and he was listening to Shane and Andrea talking to each other about.... well, him. As Carl sat down, the wood creaked, drawing the attention of the guy below us. He smiled creepily at the two of us, and I scooted a little closer to Carl.

"Hey," the guy whispered. "That's a sweet hat. I'm Randall. What're your names?" Carl and I remained silent, just staring at him. "The sheriff guy- that your dad?" He clearly thought Carl and I were siblings or something. "I like him. Yeah, he's a good guy. I can tell. Your mom out here, too?" I gave Carl a 'are you kidding me?' look, then turned back to Randall down there. "You're- you're lucky. You still got your family. I lost mine. Hey, I-I don't know what people been saying about me, but I didn't do nothing. I swear." Carl stood and motioned for me to stay sitting. "Your dad was gonna let me go till his friend started fighting with him." Carl climbed down some boards and I stood, wanting to keep watch over him as he walked closer to Randall. "It got pretty bad. I- I was kinda worried. My camp, we got lots of supplies. You help me, I'll take you and your folks back to my people. We'll take good care of you. Keep you safe. Just gotta- Just gotta help me get out of here, okay?" Carl was getting dangerously close to Randall. "Just help me pick these locks or find the key, okay? Come on, please? Please?" The door slid open and Shane stormed into the barn. Carl and I went wide eyed.

"What the hell are you doing in here? What did you say to him?" Shane suddenly pushed Randall against the wall and pointed his gun at his head. "What did you say to him, huh?"

"I didn't say nothing," Randall protested.

"Hey hey." Andrea was trying to diffuse the situation.

"Let me tell you something- I will shoot you where you sit."

"Okay Shane, not now." 

"Open your mouth. Open your mouth."

"Shane."

"You like talking, man? You like talking?"

"Back off!" Shane listened and stepped away from Randall. He glared back at Carl, then looked up at me with an even darker expression.

"Get your ass out this door. Let's go." Shane grabbed Carl by his shirt and dragged him out of the barn. I hadn't even realized I was gripping the railing in fear until they were all gone. 

"Hey hey! Can you help me?" I looked down at him and expressed what I was thinking in the only way possible without talking. I stuck up my middle finger, then climbed down the ladder and raced after Shane, who was shouting at Carl. He was threateningly close to Carl's face, and in a moment of instinctual thinking, I raced over and placed myself between Shane and the young boy.

"Move, New Girl. This is between me and Carl."

"Hey, don't talk to her like that," Carl shot back. He then grabbed my hand and ran away from Shane.

"I'm sorry that Shane got like that," he apologized. "Sometimes he's just really mean. Like, he's been avoiding me ever since we found out my mom was pregnant. It's like he's mad at the whole world." I shook my head, and my eyes slowly wandered down to Carl's hand in mine. His gaze followed mine, and he quickly pulled his hand away. "Come on, I want to go see something." I followed behind him until we saw a mound of dirt with a cross and a flower on it.

_A grave..._

Carl knelt down beside it and gestured for me to do the same. Awkwardly, I knelt down and stared at it.

"Sofia, this is New Girl."

_Sofia? Oh, don't tell me..._

"Don't be mad that she killed you. Please. She was trying to protect us, I think. And she kept you from suffering any longer." He began to choke on his words a little bit. "But I still miss you." In sympathy, I reached my hand out and touched his arm, offering support. I turned my head at the sound of footsteps to see the old woman- I had heard someone call her Carol once- approaching us.

"You know, we'll see Sofia again in heaven some day," she mused, trying to brighten Carl's mood. He picked up a few bullet shells from the ground and slipped them into his pocket. "She's in a better place." Carl looked up at Carol and began to stand.

"No, she's not." My eyes went wide and I tugged on his arm in an effort to get him to stop. "Heaven is just another lie. And if you believe it, you're an _idiot_." He stormed away, leaving Carol and I to stare in awe until we heard voices and turned around to see Rick and Lori emerge from the barn, talking something over.

"You need to control that boy," Carol shouted, marching closer to the pair with me in tail.

"Carl? What happened?"

"He's disrespectful."

"Did he say something?"

"Something cruel about Sofia."

"We'll figure it out," Lori tried to assure Carol. "It's okay. I-"

"It's not okay."

"I'll have- I'll have a talk with him." Rick walked away to catch up with his son.

"See? We'll-We'll-" I could tell Lori was shocked and flustered. "We'll deal with it. If you can calm down, so that I can-"

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

"No, I- I don't-"

"I don't need you to patronize me. Everyone either avoids me or they treat me like I'm crazy. I lost my daughter. I didn't lose my mind!" She stormed away, leaving Lori and I all by ourselves. Just then, my stomach growled and Lori looked down at me. 

"Let's get you something to eat, okay?" I nodded and she held my shoulders as we walked back to the house.


	6. Chapter 6

I found Carl a few hours later wandering around where Rick had told me Daryl was camping out for some reason. He was standing by the motorcycle the man used to get around, and when he looked up and saw me, he quickly shoved something into his belt and smiled at me.

"New Girl! Hey..." I waved and looked at his belt, seeing a gun that clearly wasn't his dangling there. I crossed my arms and looked at him accusingly. "I, uh..." He sighed and held up the weapon. "I took this. But please don't tell Daryl or my parents. They don't understand." He turned on his heel and began to wander into the woods, but I couldn't let him go on his own. I removed my pole from its place on my back and held it in my left hand. The chirping of the birds couldn't cover up the crunch of my footsteps, and after a few moments of walking deeper and deeper into the woods, Carl turned back around and glared at me. "Look, you don't have to follow me. I can manage on my own. I'm sick of you watching over me like I'm incapable." I'd had about enough of this. The grip on my pole tightened, and I opened my mouth to start screaming at him, when there was a low and garbled growling.

We both looked toward the creek to see a decaying Walker stuck in the mud. For a moment, Carl scrambled closer to me to try and run from it, but after realizing it was stuck, he smirked and got closer. I followed close behind, wanting to keep him safe, and nearly smacked him on the back of the head when he picked up a rock and chucked it at the undead creature, and then another. It snarled and gnashed its teeth together, trying to catch both of us.

"Okay... I-I'm gonna try and get closer. New Girl, you stay here." I shook my head as Carl lept down and stared at the creature. I fought the urge to follow him down, trying to see where this would go. He stared at the Walker as it threw its arms about to try and grab him and bite the kid. Growing fearful, Carl pulled out the gun and pointed it at its rotting skull. It twisted and turned, and I jumped up when its leg suddenly got free and Carl began to cry out as it grabbed onto his leg. I held onto Carl's hands and helped him up, leaving the gun and the Walker behind as I practically dragged him out of the forest. 

The sun was beginning to set when we finally made our way out, my hand still locked tight in his out of fear he would try to run back for the gun, and my weapon of choice in the other. Lori noticed the two of us coming over and smiled.

"Come on Carl, New Girl. I want you two to stay with Jimmy." I let go of Carl's hand and nodded, happy to oblige after that trauma.

"But-But I wanna listen," I heard Carl protest.

"Hm-mmm, not this time. Come on." I sat down on the bed, feeling nauseous and shaking. Carl could have been killed if I hadn't done something. Sure, he was here and alive now, but if I hadn't...

I turned my head to see the door open, and Carl standing in the doorway. I let out and irritated breath and turned away from him.

"Hey, what was that for?" I kept on my spell of not talking- even if I almost snapped for a moment- and kept my back turned. "Come on, New Girl." He sat down right next to me and I scooted a little farther away. "Is it about this Randall thing?" I shook my head. That guy was sick. "Is it about Shane?" Another shake of the head. "That Walker?" I froze, and he picked up on my change in reaction. "Me trying to hit it? Stealing that gun?" I slowly brought myself to nod, and felt his hand touch my arm. "New Girl, I-"

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never attempt?" I heard Dale- the old man- shout. I whimpered, hating that people were yelling at each other. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay." His hand moved from my arm to around my shoulders, hugging me. "Whatever happens... they'll stop arguing soon enough." I sniffled and curled up on the bed, staring at the wall as Carl sat there. I could feel his gaze on me, but I chose not to turn around and look at him.

It seemed like I would never really be able to trust this group, not fully at least. But there were some people- like Dale, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, and to an extent, Carl, Rick, and Lori- that almost made it worth sticking around with these guys. It was funny how the leaders of the group seemed the most suspicious, but they do have to make a lot of the touch decisions. They were a landslide better than my old group. I couldn't recall much, but I remember they were psychopathic. They would kill people for no reason. And my father... he was the worst of them all. Sure, he hadn't been completely stable before all of this started, but now... he had gone full Norman Bates. 

I woke up later- so much later that the sun had set. The house had gone quiet, and Carl was gone from the room, so I got up and decided to go look for everyone. The night air brought a slight chill, making me shiver as I spotted the group out at their camp. Carl passed me, looking miffed for some reason, and stormed into the house. I shrugged it off and approached the group, and several of them smiled at me.

"Hey, New Girl," Carol greeted. "Are you hungry?" I nodded and she led me to the fire. I sat down and began to warm up as Carol began to prepare some food, and I could vaguely catch Lori and Rick's conversation.

"He followed us," Rick sighed, likely talking about Carl. "He wanted to watch." _The execution._ "I couldn't."

"That's okay. That's okay." Carol handed me a plate that had probably been taken from inside filled with different kinds of food. I smiled at her and began to eat the chopped-up vegetables.

"Hey, where's Dale?" T-Dog asked. Everyone looked around at each other, but no one knew. Carl came back and curled up in his tent as Rick sat down beside me.

"How are you feeling?" He was being so kind to me, but I had no idea why. I smiled and vigorously nodded, hoping he could understand what I was trying to convey. I little smirk broke out on his face. "That's good. Do you think you'd be able to help out with some chores around here?" I nodded. "I won't ask for you to do much. Just laundry, helping Dale out on watch, if you want, some cook-" 

Suddenly, there were screams from the distance. Everyone shot up and began to run toward it.

"What happened?" Carl asked, getting out of the tent.

"Come here. Come here," Lori ordered her son.

"T-Dog, get a shotgun now!"

"I want you to go in the house, lock the door, and stay inside." 

"Okay okay." Among the chaos, people seemed to forget about me, so I followed behind them as they raced toward the source. Their lights briefly shone on Dale, with some sort of figure on top of him

"Dale!" Andrea screamed. The figure was revealed to be a Walker, and Daryl lept forward, tackling it to the ground and sticking a knife through its brain.

"Help! Over here!" he cried. I looked down at Dale and nearly threw up. That Walker had ripped his stomach open, his organs on full display as he screamed in agony. There wasn't much I could I was able to do, so I knelt down and took the old man's hand, hoping to provide some comfort before what was to come. He looked at me for a moment, almost shocked, and I offered a tiny smile.

"Who is it?" The rest of the group came over and I let go, standing up and moving away so they could see him. "Oh, my god. Oh, my god."

"Rick!"

"All right, just listen to my voice. Just listen to me, all right? Just listen to me. Okay, hold on now. Get Hershel! He needs blood We got to operate now."

"Hang on, Dale." Glenn saw my pale face and shaking body and held onto me as though I would slip away. I desperately grabbed onto one of his arms. I knew there was nothing Hershel could do, but maybe... _maybe_ it was worth a shot. Voices became echo-y as Hershel raced over, kneeling down to look at Dale. I could feel Glenn try to pull me away, but I broke free, wanting to stay here. I knelt back down with Dale and began sobbing. A weeping Carl nearly thew himself against me, trying to find some sort of comfort. I wrapped an arm around him, and when my eyes met Rick's I knew time was up. Gently, I leaned down, getting closer to Dale's ear, and I made bold decision. I whispered my name into his ear, just quiet enough so no one heard. I could trust him, and I figured in his final moments, he should know who I am. He looked shocked for a moment, then Rick aimed the gun at the old man's head, and I leaned back to bury my head in Carl's shoulder. 

I would forever remember the sound of that gunshot.


	7. Chapter 7

Carl had slept in the room Hershel had given me to sleep in that night- the one I had stayed in when I was sick.

_"It's yours to stay in, but if someone gets sick or injured, we might have to temporarily evict you. You can stay with Lori and Rick, or maybe Glenn and my daughter."_

We now all stood around a makeshift grave, tears forming in people's eyes as Rick spoke. I stood between Glenn and Maggie, and they each took one of my hands and I held back from completely breaking down.

"Dale could- could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare. And brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale." My eyes met Carl's for a brief moment, and I saw tears streaming from them, which broke my heart. "He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us- the truth, who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together. Stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale." 

I began to feel sick and broke away from Glenn and Maggie, the rest of the group watching me as I ran for the house, sobbing and fighting an overwhelming wave of nausea. I almost got there, when I suddenly collapsed to the ground and threw up the little bit of food I had in my stomach from breakfast, unfortunately getting some of it in my hair and on my shirt. Footsteps approached as I coughed at the awful burn of the acid in my throat, and I felt someone lift me up by my arms and led me into the house.

"Come on, let's get you in bed." I looked up to see Glenn dragging me into the house, with Maggie not far behind.

"Glenn, she's got vomit in her hair and on her shirt. She needs to get cleaned up, and I'll grab her some clean clothes." Glenn helped me to the bathroom and I ran a shower, trying to not only wash off the dirt, blood, and vomit, but the weight of everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. Images of Dale's disemboweled stomach, those Walker's dead eyes, the scared look in the old man's eyes... they all flashed through my head, and I curled up on the floor of the shower, beginning to loudly weep. I heard a banging on the door. "New Girl? New Girl, are you all right?" There was silence for a moment. "I'm coming in!" I remember seeing Maggie looming over me before everything had gone black.

I woke up a few moments later, clothed and lying in my bed. Maggie noticed me stirring and smiled.

"Hey, you're up." She smiled and brushed away some of my long hair. "How are you feeling?" I stood up, feeling more refreshed than I had been earlier on, and smiled at her. "I know these past couple of days have been really traumatic for you... I just wanted you to know that we're all here for you, okay?" I nodded and hugged her. "Why don't you find Carl?" I headed out of the room and found Carl at what was left of the group's encampment. They were packing everything up and moving inside so that everyone could be safe.

"Hi," he greeted upon noticing me, "are you feeling better?" I nodded and he put his hat on my head. "Good." He paused for a moment, looking down at his feet, then back up into my eyes. "Come on. I want to talk to you about something." Carl took my hand and practically dragged me up to the top of the barn. We both sat down and dangled our legs over the edge of the window. "I snagged these." He held up a pair of binoculars and handed them to me. "Look at how far you can see in these!" I looked through the lenses and gasped. I could see beyond the trees in this. I handed them to him, and he laughed before going serious and looking out. "I'm going to keep watch now." 

We sat there in silence, looking out at everyone packing their things up and talking, though everyone looked sullen. I turned around at the sound of footsteps, and stood as I saw Rick approaching. He nodded at me, then took my place beside Carl.

"Mom said you'd be here," he stated, trying to make conversation.

"Told her I would stand lookout. I brought New Girl with me. I got tired of helping around the house." Rick pulled out a gun and held it out.

"Take it." Carl hesitated. "What happened to Dale had nothing to do with you."

"He-He died, Dad."

"Yeah. Yeah. Feels like there's a lot of that going around. That's why I need you. No more kid stuff. I wish you could have the childhood I had, but that's not gonna happen. People are gonna die. I'm gonna die. Mom. There's no way you can ever be ready for it. I try to be, but I can't. The best we can do is avoid it as long as we can. Keep one step ahead. I wish I had something better to say, something- something more profound. My father was good like that. But I'm tired, son. Please take it." Carl grabbed it from his dad, and Rick placed a hand on Carl's shoulder. "New Girl, come here a moment." Cautiously, I sat down in Carl's place. "I know it might seem like we're crazy, or unstable, but I want you to know that you can trust us, okay? We all want to protect you just as much as we want to protect each other. You're safe with us." I smiled at Rick and nodded, even though I was still on the rocks. "I have to go check on our wild man. You two stay close to each other." We nodded and watched as he headed to the shed where Randall was being kept.

_They're gonna kill him..._ I thought, looking down at my hands. If it weren't for the large majority of the group wanting to kill this guy, I would trust them by now. At the core of everything, they were all good people. They were just making some bad decisions. Maybe...

A large group of them emerged from the shed and congregated into a group. Carl and I stood and looked at each other. I faintly caught the word 'missing' and then the name 'Randall.'

_Oh no..._

Carl and I climbed down and joined the rest of the group as Shane trudged back to us.

"He's armed!" he shouted. His nose and mouth were covered in blood, shocking me. "He's got my gun!"

"Are you okay?" Carl asked.

"I'm fine. Little bastard snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."

"All right. Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us."

"T, I'm gonna need my gun."

"Just let him go," Carol pleaded. "That was the plan, wasn't it, to just let him go?"

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun."

"Don't go out there. Y'all know what can happen."

"Get everybody back in the house. Lock all the doors and stay put!"

"Let's go. Back in the house!"

"Okay." We all rushed back into the safety of the building, and I plopped down on the couch.

"I guess all we can do now is wait," Hershel sighed. Carl came back into the room with a book and I opened it, becoming deeply immersed in it. It was some sort of autobiography about a former slave and his life, but it was so interesting that I ended up reading it at dinner and up until Lori called that it was time for Carl and I to go to bed. He came into my room with me, saying something about a 'sleepover,' and crawled under the covers immediately, wanting to go to sleep as fast as possible. Carl, however, remained awake, watching out the window for his father's return. I had almost drifted off, when Carl suddenly jumped on the bed and began shaking me. 

"New Girl, come on, get up! My dad and Shane are back! There was a gunshot!" I groaned and rolled out of bed, then threw on a sweater and a pair of shoes and grabbed my weapon before dashing after him- out the window, mind you- to meet the men in the field. However, as soon as we got close enough, things turned hostile. I gasped as Rick stood in front of Shane's dead body. Carl and I stared in awe, but what came next was even more shocking. Carl cocked his gun and aimed it at his father, who turned around and tried to talk his son down. But from behind Rick, Shane suddenly rose from the dead, and Carl shifted his aim to the Walker and shot it down. The two men raced to the body to inspect it for bites or scratches, but oddly enough, found nothing. We started to head back to the house in almost a daze. "You bit too?" Carl finally asked, breaking the silence.

"No. Shane was. That wasn't Shane. You know that."

"Used to be. What happened? You guys attacked?" Rick looked at his son, confused. "I mean, I- I heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any Walkers nearby. How did Shane die?" We stopped as Rick looked down at his son, about to answer, when the sound of a bunch of those undead creatures growling echoed. We all turned to see a huge horde of them emerging from the woods.

_The gunshot must have attracted them._

"Oh my god. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go." We ran under the cover of some trees and caught our breath.

"We- we gotta get to the house, tell the others."

"We'll never get through that. Can't go around. Carl, New Girl, stay close. Go!" We ran through the oncoming herd, doing our best to avoid the stumbling corpses. We made it to the barn and sealed ourselves in, but we knew that wouldn't last long. A large group of them was already pressing themselves against the doors, banging on it and trying to get in. We had to come up with a solution _now_. I looked around for something we could use, and my eyes stumbled across a can of kerosene. Hershel wouldn't be happy, but at this point, it was the only way to take out this many of them.

I ran over to the red can and tried to lift it, but it was too heavy for me to make any progress. 

"Whoa, whoa, New Girl, what are you-?" Rick read the label on the red metal and sighed. "I guess it's all we've got left." he picked it up and he began to pour the liquid onto the hay. "Oh shit. All right. Okay. Up there. Hurry." 

"Well, what about you?"

"I'll be right there." He pulled a lighter from his pocket and handed it to Carl. "Drop the lighter when I say. We'll stop them from reaching the house, and distract the others, so at least we'll have a chance. Hey, hey, look at me. You can do this. Carl... I love you." That seemed to brighten Carl's spirits a little bit. "All right, go, go, go." We climbed the ladder and Rick began shouting at the herd before opening the barn doors and allowing them to rush in. He sprinted up the ladder, then looked up at us. "Carl, now!" Carl opened the top and lit the flame, then dropped it onto the ground below to ignite the barn. The two men pulled out their guns just in case, then began to back away, closer to the ledge. In the distance the RV pulled up, and Rick began shouting. "Put it right here! Come on!" It pulled up right next to us and Rick helped Carl and I climb onto the top before he himself. We made our way to the back end of it and climbed down the ladder. There was screaming from inside as we passed by, and I gripped Carl's hand before we pressed on. There was gunfire nearby, but we couldn't make it close to the source. "There. Head for the woods, now! As fast as you can. Come on."

We ran under the cover of the trees and just kept going until we emerged just in time to kill a Walker that was about to bite Hershel. He turned around, shocked, but sort of relaxed when he saw that it was us.

"Where's Lori?" Rick demanded. "Did you see Lori?"

"I don't know what happened, Rick. They just keep coming. It's like a plague. They're everywhere." That didn't really answer the question.

"Lori! Did you see her?"

"No!"

"We have to go."

"It's my farm!" Hershel protested. 

"Not anymore." Rick grabbed Hershel by his collar and dragged him along into the red pickup truck. As soon as the four of us were in, Rick sped off, getting as far away from the burning farm as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

We had been driving all night just to end up at a highway blocked by overturned vehicles, with no sign of anyone else from the group. I had been too worried to sleep, and although my eyes burned, I couldn't nod off. Not sleeping had given me a lot of time to think, however, and I had come to a conclusion about whether I fully trusted this group or not.

Rick stopped the truck, and he, Carl, and I climbed out, looking around to see if we could find anyone.

"Wait, where's Mom?" Carl asked. "You said she'd be here. W-We gotta go back for her."

"Carl-"

"No. Why are we running? What are you doing? It- It's Mom. We need to get her and not be safe a mile away." Rick leaned down and placed a hand on Carl's shoulder.

"Shh. You need to be quiet, all right? Please." Carl took a moment to calm down.

"Please. It's _Mom."_

 _"_ Look, Carl. Listen-"

"No." He pulled away from his father's grasp and stormed back into the truck. His father began to follow him, until Hershel piped up. 

"Rick. You've got to get your boy and that girl to safety." I sighed and looked back at the truck. Carl was moping in the front seat, seemingly looking down at the gun his father had given him. "I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up at one of them later."

"Where? Where is safe?" Hershel didn't answer. "We're not splitting up."

"Please, keep your boy safe. Keep this little girl safe. I'll hide in one of the cars. If a Walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm. I've lost my wife and maybe my daughters."

"You don't know that. They'll be here."

"And you don't know that."

"You're a man of God. Have some faith."

"I can't profess to understand God's plan, but Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind."

"We stick together." Rick wandered back to the truck, leaving me with Hershel. My eyes wandered around until they rested on the hood of one of the cars. There was a drink and a few snacks rested on top of it, with the words "Sofia, wait here" scrawled on it. I immediately felt a pang in my heart. I had killed Sofia, even if she was technically already dead.

"Don't feel bad." I turned around to see Hershel following my line of sight. "No one had the strength to kill her. They all loved her too much. More of them would have died if you hadn't come along." I nodded and shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweater. I hadn't gotten the chance to change before we left, so I was still in my pajamas with my axe-pole in the back. I sighed and stared at the message a few moments longer, until the sounds of cars and a motorcycle pulling up drew away my attention. Hershel and I weaved through the rows of cars and broke through to see the rest of the group pulling up. I felt a huge weight off my chest as Maggie and Glenn left the green car. They both hugged me and whispered 'glad you're safe's.

"Where'd you find everyone?"

"Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road- figured he had to be Asian, driving like that." My hand flew to my mouth at the racist joke, trying my best not to chuckle.

"Good one," Glenn deadpanned.

"Where's the rest of us?" I took another moment to look around and realized Jimmy, Patricia, and Andrea were missing.

"We're the only ones who made it so far."

"Shane?" Rick shook his head and Lori sighed.

"Andrea?"

"She saved me, then I lost her."

"We saw her go down," T-Dog announced.

"Patricia?"

"They got her too," Beth sobbed out, "took her right in front of me. I was- I was holdin' onto her, Daddy. She just-"

"What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

"He was in the RV. It got overrun." My eyes went wide. That was the guy in the RV...

"You definitely saw Andrea?"

"There were Walkers everywhere."

"Did you see her?" No one answered.

"I'm gonna go back," Daryl announced.

"No."

"We can't just leave her."

"We don't even know if she's there."

"She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead."

"There's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for her?"

"We gotta keep moving. There have been Walkers crawling all over here."

"I say head East."

"Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more Walkers, more assholes like this one." We all turned our attention to a Walker shambling closer. "I got him." Daryl aimed his crossbow at its head and shot an arrow through its eye. Sighing, we all climbed back into our vehicles and drove off. The sun was beginning to set when Daryl, who was leading this procession, halted, causing all the cars and trucks to stop. We all got out and ran for Daryl.

"You out?"

"Running on fumes."

"We can't stay here."

"We can't all fit in one car."

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."

"Spend the night here?"

"I'm freezing."

"We'll build a fire, yeah?"

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close."

"Only got so many arrows. How you doin on ammo?"

"Not enough."

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out."

"Watch your mouth."

"Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick."

"All right, we'll set up a perimeter."

"In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge for some gas."

"No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick, we're stranded now."

"I know it looks bad, we've all been through Hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure- I really wasn't- but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place." Everyone looked at each other with varying expressions.

"Rick, look around, okay? There's Walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a _life_ for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to _find_ it." I was shocked at how angry Rick had become.

"Even if we do find a place, and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe."

"We won't make that mistake again."

"We'll make camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day."

"Does this feel right to you?"

"What if Walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?"

"You know I found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn't bit." I went pale. How could that happen?

"How's that possible?"

"Rick, what the hell happened?" He didn't answer.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to."

"And then the herd got him?" Rick remained silent for a few more moments, before finally speaking up.

"We're all infected." Everyone looked at him in shock. 

_What did he just say?_

"What?"

"At the C.D.C, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it." Horror began to set in.

"And you never said anything?"

"Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?"

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo-"

"That isn't your call. Okay, when I found out about the Walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it was best that people didn't know." Silence fell and Rick turned to set up camp. Carl gripped my hand and I sighed. I was infected. Unless I was shot in the head, I would turn into one of those things when I died. How do you come to grips with something like that? I don't blame Rick at all, but it's hard to process this knowledge.

The silence and anger continued as we sat around the fire that night. I had my head on Carl's shoulder with his arm around me, trying not to freeze to death.

"We're not safe with him-" I heard Carol whisper, "keeping something like that from us. Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

"No. Rick's done all right by me."

"You're his henchman and I'm a burden. You deserve better."

"What do you want?"

"A man of honor."

"Rick has honor."

"I think we should take our chances," Maggie piped up.

"Don't be foolish. There's no food, no fuel, no ammo." Leaves rustled close by, and we all went on alert.

"What was that?"

"Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum."

"Walker."

"We need to leave. What are we waiting for?"

"Which way?"

"It came from over there."

"Back where we came."

"Yeah."

"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark," Rick reasoned. "We don't have vehicles. No one's traveling on foot." A branch snapped.

"Don't panic."

"I'm not- I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through."

"We need to move, now."

"No one is going anywhere."

"Do something."

"I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for _this_. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake. You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no _choice._ He was my friend, but he came after me." Carl broke away from me and collapsed into his mother's arms, crying. "My hands are clean. Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe- maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe- maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you- why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight- You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore." 

I couldn't take it anymore. Rick moved to walk away.

"Annahbelle."

Heads slowly turned to look at me, including Rick's.

"Wh-what?" he stuttered.

"My name is Annahbelle- Annah, for short."

"She finally speaks," Hershel chuckled.

"Does that mean you trust us?" Carl's voice held hope.

"For the most part, yes."

"For the most part?" I sighed.

"Rick is your leader. And you guys have it pretty good with him. I-I don't remember a lot from where I came from, because I was running for a long time, but I know they were _psychotic._ " I looked down at Carl. "My dad paid the price eventually." I addressed the group again. "You should consider yourselves lucky to have someone like him." I moved to stand next to him. "I stand with Rick on this...

Anyone else?"


	9. Chapter 9

I peeled some of my hair from my forehead, glued there by sweat and grime from not showering for a while. Our group had been wandering for almost nine months, leaving Lori in a position where she could give birth at any moment. Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog suddenly burst through the doors of a house looming above us to kill the Walkers right in front, then Carl and I came in behind, once they gave the signal. We snuck our way into the kitchen, ready to strike anything that might be there. Luckily, there was no imminent danger, which allowed Carl and I to make sure there was food for us to eat in here. Rick came in to check on us, then Maggie and Glenn entered through a door in the kitchen, but they left us quickly to clear out the bodies.

"You're okay with rooming with me, right?" I looked at him in confusion. "If the room situation is tight, I mean."

"Oh! Then not at all." I crouched down to begin searching the cabinets below us. "I hope we can stay here. Your mom's gonna burst at any moment."

"I'm just tired of wandering. I don't get how you did it for so long." I sighed and brushed some of my black hair from my face.

"When you're determined enough, you can run for ages." I stumbled across some unopened cans. They were of dog food, nonetheless, but it would have to do for now. "Jackpot, I guess..." I smiled at the little Pomeranian on the label. "I want one of these."

"Maybe one day," Carl teased. I smirked and lightly smacked him before the two of us made our way back into the living room, where everyone was seated. Daryl appeared to be pulling the feathers off some sort of bird that he would likely end up cooking at some point later today. I set down the cans and Carl pulled an opener from his bag, popping off the metal tops. Rick picked up one of the cans and looked at it regretfully, then tossed it into the fireplace. I glanced at Carl and he shrugged. T-Dog looked at the window, then hissed to get our attentions. We all looked out the window to see a horde of Walkers approaching the house. Quickly, we all gathered up our things and Carl took my hand, then we ran out the back, putting resources into the cars and speeding off to find somewhere else safe. I suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion crash onto me, and I practically collapsed onto Carl's shoulder, barely able to hold myself up. We drove for a while, then came to a stop in the middle of the next sector we had marked on our map, hoping to find somewhere to stay.

"Fifteen. You two're on point." Carl and I nodded and I pulled my pole from my back. 

"We've got nowhere else left to go," Maggie sighed. "When this herd meets up with this one, we'll be cut off." Carl and I kept watch for an oncoming herd.

"Do you remember anything else from where you came from?" Carl asked out of nowhere. I shook my head.

"Nothing new here. Just the same old knowledge." We both laughed at that.

"So, uh... this is kinda going to be a weird question, but... who did you trust first in the group?" I was taken slightly aback by the question, but answered anyway.

"You, obviously. You, your dad, Glenn, and Daryl... you've been there since the start. But you let me wear the hat sometimes, which I heard at the rumor mill is something you don't do for just anyone." I could've sworn I saw him blush.

"Yeah, I just... I figured you needed some cheering up, so I gave it to you while you were stuck in bed."

"But you kept giving it to me after that, while we were on the farm, and sometimes while we were traveling..."

"You seem to like it." I laughed.

"I do." Maggie came over and patted my back, causing me to look up at her.

"You two take a break. Glenn and I can cover watch for a little while." Carl and I nodded and sat back down in the truck, trying to take advantage of the little shade we could get in here. After a few moments of sitting there and recovering, Carl pulled some torn up baggie from his pocket and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He had his goofy smile on his face.

"I found it in a box at one of the houses. Go ahead, open it." The bag was heavy. I didn't have a clue what it could be. I opened the top of the bag and pulled out... a handgun? I took a closer look at it, then saw what he found: a little bracelet made up of multi-colored flowers.

"Carl," I breathed, "it's beautiful. Thank you!" 

"I know you don't know how to shoot a gun yet, but we can teach you- my dad, Glenn, Maggie, me. A-And you only have to use it in dire situations, if you want."

"I just don't want to draw a lot of Walkers' attentions, you know?" He nodded. There was more silence as we mulled over each other's words. "Hey, your dad and Daryl left a little while ago, and they still haven't come back." I grew hopeful for a moment. "You think they found something permanent?" He sighed.

"I hope that's what it is..." I fully processed the situation, then reached out and took his hand. 

"I'm sure they're fine, Carl. They can hold their own." At that moment, I heard Rick's voice shouting. Carl and I climbed from the car to see the two of them emerge from the woods. "What's going on?"

"We found a place we can stay," Daryl informed us. "A prison. There're a few Walkers out front, probably more inside, but if we can clear them out, it’s liveable.”

“Well then, what are we waiting for?” Glenn asked. “Let’s get started."

Just as Daryl had said, the prison grounds were crawling with Walkers. Everyone who could wield some sort of weapon that wasn't a gun began clanging them on the fence and yelling to get their attentions, then stabbing their brains to kill them. Rick cut a hole in the wire fence to allow us to sneak in, and after we all did, Glenn and Daryl bound it back together. As soon as that act was done, we booked it, Carl's hand in mine to make sure I didn't fall behind. We finally reached the gates that would let us onto the main grounds, and smiles spread on people's faces.

"It's perfect. If we can shut that gate, prevent more from filling the yard, we can pick off these Walkers. We'll take the field by tonight."

"So how do we shut the gate?" Hershel asked.

"I'll do it," Glenn volunteered. "You guys cover me."

"No. It's a suicide run," Maggie protested.

"I'm the fastest."

"No, you, Maggie, and Beth draw as many as you can over there." Rick pointed to the location farthest from the gate. "Pop 'em through the fence. Daryl, go back to the other tower. Carol, you've become a pretty good shot. Take your time. We don't have a lot of ammo to waste. Hershel, you and Carl take this tower. I'll run for the gate." I readied myself to open the fence for Rick to rush through, steadying my trembling nerves for everyone's safety. He nodded at me and I quickly yanked it open, watching as Rick raced up the gravel pathway.

"Sorry!" Carol shouted as one of her shots landed an inch in front of Rick's feet. He finally made it to the gate, clamping it shut to keep the Walkers beyond the gate in, and raced up to the top of the tower to clear out the rest of the Walkers on the common grounds. With the combined efforts, they all soon fell, leaving it safe for us to travel further on. Carol, Daryl, Dale, and Carl emerged from their towers and headed in Lori and my direction.

"Fantastic!"

"Nice shooting."

"You okay?" Carol asked the pregnant woman.

"I haven't felt this good in weeks."

"Good." I joined Carl in step as we entered the prison grounds. "Oh! Oh! We haven't had this much space since we left the farm." Carol ran and turned like a five year old in a meadow.

"Whoo!" T-Dog cried. We couldn't enter the prison yet, but these fenced-in grounds were a good start. A slight breeze swept through my sweaty hair, and I sighed.

"This is really nice."

This was starting to feel like home.


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone but Daryl and Rick- who were watching for Walkers- was crowded around a small fire we had built. We'd all finished the owl Daryl had hunted earlier and stuffed into his bag, enjoying each others' company.

"Mmm. Just like Mom used to make," Glenn joked before tossing away a bone. I laughed and lightly shoved his shoulder.

"Tomorrow we'll put all the bodies together. Want to keep them away from that water. Now, if we can dig a canal under the fence, we'll have plenty of fresh water."

"And this soil is good. We could plant some seed, grow some tomatoes, cucumbers, soybeans." Hershel looked up at Rick off in the distance, and I followed his gaze. "That's his third time around. If there was any part of it compromised, he'd have found it by now." Beth leaned closer to Lori.

"This'll be a good place to have the baby. Safe." Carol stood with a plate of food and brought it over to Daryl so that he could eat something.

"Bethy, sing Paddy Reilly for me," Hershel asked sweetly. "I haven't heard that, I think, since your mother was alive." Maggie and Beth exchanged an uncomfortable glance.

"Daddy, not that one, please," Maggie begged.

"How about 'The Parting Glass'?"

"No one wants to hear," Beth protested.

"Why not?" Glenn asked teasingly. I stood and walked over to where Carl was laying on his forearms and joined him, taking the exact same position. Beth sighed in defeat. 

"Okay." She began to sing softly with the voice of a mockingbird. "' _Of all the money e'er I had, I spent it in good company. And all the harm e'er I've ever done, alas it was but none to me. For want of wit to memory now I can't recall, so fill me the parting glass. Good night and joy be with you all."_ She stopped and looked at her sister, and I leaned my head on Carl's shoulder. My eyes were beginning to droop from exhaustion, the fire warming me as though there were a blanket around my body. _"Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had._ " Maggie began to join her, though her voice wasn't as nice as Beth. " _Were sorry for my going away. And all the sweethearts that e'er I had would wish me one more day to stay..._ " Rick crouched down next to Carl, who handed him a red cup with some of the meat in it. " _But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise. And should you not, I'll gently rise and I'll softly call 'good night and joy be with you all. Good night and joy be with you all.'"_

"Beautiful," Hershel complimented. Carl and I looked at each other and sighed. We were each other's best friends, and I was grateful for that with every passing day.

"Better all turn in," Rick advised. "I'll take watch over there. Got a big day tomorrow."

"What do you mean?" He paused before answering.

"Look, I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we've got to push just a little bit more. Most of the Walkers are dressed as guards or prisoners. Looks like this place fell pretty early. It could mean the supplies may be intact. They'd have an infirmary, a commissary."

"An armory?" I smirked. Of course Daryl would ask that.

"That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden's office would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine. This place could be a gold mine."

"We're dangerously low on ammo. We'd run out before we make a dent."

"That's why we have to go in there... hand to hand. After all we've been through, we can handle it, I know it. These assholes don't stand a chance." Rick got up to resume his watch, and his wife followed after him. The rest of us laid down beside the raging fire, close together to try and stay warm with the chill that the night brought. I stood up and wandered my way over to Glenn and Maggie to sleep, who opened their arms to try and keep me warm. I had about zero percent body fat from the lack of food before I joined this group, and in combination with my naturally low body temperature, I found it difficult to keep myself warm. Thus, at night I found myself sandwiched between Maggie and Glenn if we slept outside, using them as almost a heater.

"Good night, Annah," Maggie whispered.

"'Night, kiddo," Glenn added.

"Good night."

I ran my pole through a Walker's head for what seemed like the thousandth time. A few of us were clearing out the Walkers in a tight group within the gates, while the rest drew some close to the fence and took them out through that. Most of the group had protested me going inside the gates, concerned for my safety, but I fought hard enough that I was allowed to go in. They, of course, headed straight for us, but we kept in a circle-like formation to try and protect everyone. T-Dog began to break away a little bit as I took out another one.

"Don't break rank!" Rick ordered.

"We need that." He quickly grabbed a S.W.A.T shield and knocked another Walker to the ground, then Maggie broke away and ran her weapon through its eye socket.

"Maggie! Maggie!" She raced back to the rest of us and we continued on. "Almost there." Rick slowly opened a rusty door to see if there were any undead in there, but found none, so we pushed on to the next section, which was _crawling_ with them. "Shit." We all pressed ourselves against the wall and mentally prepared ourselves. Walkers in S.W.A.T uniforms began to surround us, and as hard as we tried, our weapons couldn't break their armor. Rick and Daryl secured the gate in front of us closed, while the rest of us tried to take out the killers in this area. Maggie managed to kill one of them by running her knife through an opening in the armor near the neck.

"See that?" she laughed, eyes flashing crazy for just a moment as she turned around. The rest of us followed her lead and were able to take the armored ones out. Once they were all gone, we began to make our way back to the group.

"Stop." We did another look around.

"Well, it looks secure," I observed.

"Not from the look of that courtyard over there. And that's a civilian. So the interior could be overrun with Walkers from outside the prison."

" _Oy..._ " I sighed. This job seemed never ending. "Well, if there's walls down, what are we gonna do? We can't rebuild this whole place."

"We can't risk a blind spot. We have to push in."

"Double _oy_." My eyes caught Carl's for a brief moment before I followed the rest of the group inside. It was dark from the lights being out for a good year and almost no windows. The stench of death seeped from the walls and throughout the cells and hallways. Water dripped from pipes, able to drive a man mad if they had been in here long enough. The growling of Walkers came from somewhere far away. Rick looked up, then disappeared up the stairs. Tension filled the air as we waited for him to hopefully come back. He emerged with a ring of keys and we used them to enter another area of the prison's interior: Block C. We kept our weapons ready, but found no Walkers on the lower floor, where I was restricted to. I could hear a couple upstairs, but I knew Daryl and Rick could take care of them.

"Annah, you, Glenn, and Maggie go get the others, tell them to bring all the stuff in. This area's secured." We nodded and dashed out, reaching the others without resistance. I helped Carl with his things, as well as carrying in my one bag. "What do you think?" Rick asked when we came back with the others.

"Home sweet home," Lori deadpanned.

"For the time being." 

"It's secure?"

"This cell block is."

"What about the rest of the prison?"

"In the morning, we'll find the cafeteria and the infirmary."

"We sleep in the cells?"

"I found keys on some guards. Daryl has a set, too."

"I ain't sleepin' in no cage," Daryl protested. "I'll take the perch." Everyone broke off, and I made my way into a cell near the end of the hall and began to set up shop. Not that there was much to set up. I only had a few of Beth's old outfits, as well as some essentials we'd picked up while on the road. I noticed Carl wander past, trying to find someone to stay with, so I called out to him.

"Yo, little Grimes." He looked at me. "There's an empty bed in here if you want it." He smiled and came down to the cell. "Pretty gross," I mused. 

"Yeah, remember he storage units?"

"Oh, god." I gagged at the memory, then sat down on one of the bunks. "It's actually- It's actually pretty comfortable. Check it out." Rather than climbing up onto the top bunk, Carl shoved me aside and jumped on next to me. "Hey! You know, you're gonna have to pick one of your own. And I'd recommend the top one because I thrash in my sleep, and I might break something if I fall from that one." He got up and started getting things out of his bag.

"Yeah, I know. Last time we holed up in a house, you scratched me in the face." He pointed to the healing marks.

"Oh, boo-hoo, poor Carl got scratched by a girl," I teased.

"Wha-hey!" We were both laughing now. "Now I'm gonna _make_ you take the top bunk, so you can understand my pain."

"Dude, something tells me falling from that height onto cement hurts way more than some scratches from a few dull nails." Rick appeared in the doorway, smiling at us.

"Just wanted to make sure you two could get along in the same cell."

"We'll be fine, Dad. She's my best friend, after all." I chuckled and stood up from the bed.

"Rick, can I talk to you for a moment?" He seemed a little shocked.

"S-Sure, Annah." We stepped out and away from Carl's ears, and I crossed my arms. 

"I just wanted to thank you for... well, everything. You all rescued me, when you just as easily could have revived me and sent me on my way. I don't think I'll ever be able to accurately express my gratitude, but I'll keep trying." He clapped me on the shoulder.

"Of course, Annahbelle. You're one of us now." I smiled at that idea. "Just keep Carl in check for me."

"That I can do."

"Thank you." We both chuckled and I wandered back to my cell, ignoring the sullen expression that seemed to cross his face when I left. Carl was reading a comic on the _bottom bunk_ when I got back. I scoffed and crossed my arms, pretending to be pissed.

"Oh, you're _so_ in for it, Grimes."


	11. Chapter 11

We were all gathered together the next morning, getting ready to scour the rest of the prison. Carl put on one of the S.W.A.T helmets we had snagged off a Walker, and I gently rapped on it, scaring the crap out of him. He jumped and turned to me, and while I was busy laughing, he socked me on the arm.

"You won't need that." Rick took the helmet from his son. "I need you two to stay put."

"You're kidding," Carl sighed.

"We don't know what's in there. Something goes wrong, you two could be the last standing. I need you to handle things here."

"Sure."

"Great. Let's go." He handed me the set of keys, and wandered off with everyone except Lori, Carol, and Beth. I sighed and began to head back to Carl and my cell.

"What do we do now?" I sighed, laying down on my bed. Carl tossed the helmet to the side and sat down beside my legs.

"I don't know. What do you do in a prison surrounded by and filled with Walkers that could kill you at any second?" Carl leaned his head over the side of the bed and smiled at me.

"Don't know. I asked you." I chuckled and closed my eyes, allowing myself to relax a little bit. I almost stopped thinking, and began singing.

" _I am going away for a while_

_but I'll be back._

_Don't try and follow me._

_Cause I'll return as soon as possible._

_See, I'm trying to find my place,_

_but it might not be here where I feel safe._

_We all learn to make mistakes_

_And run from them, from them_

_with no direction._

_Run from them, from them_

_with no conviction._

_Cause I'm just one of those ghosts,_

_traveling endlessly._

_Don't need no roads._

_In fact they follow me._

_And we just go in circles."_

Carl peered back over the edge of the bed and smiled at me.

"That was nice," he complimented.

"Thanks. I would hear it sometimes on the radio when my dad and I would go to school."

"Your dad would go to school with you?"

"Sort of. He was a gym teacher at the high school nearby. He would take me to school and then go in himself. He never had to teach any classes at the beginning of the day."

“You remember that much? I think that was more than last week.” I sighed and picked at the piling dirt and grime under my nails.

“That’s all I remember. A part of me feels horrible about forgetting him, and my mother... But I also remember how corrupt he became. As soon as he got a taste of power, he abused it. He has this little group... it’s not many people. All of them are as insane as he became.” I didn’t want to talk about this any more. Shutting down, I curled up and stared at the wall, cement cracking and falling apart.

“Annah?” There was a creaking sound and the bed shifted, before Carl appeared beside me. “Are you-“

“Shut up,” I snapped. The boy beside me sighed and placed a cold hand on my shoulder. Neither of us said anything as I kept my eyes transfixed on the grey wall. “You all gave me a second chance.”

“Well... of course. You were dehydrated, starved, exhausted... we couldn’t just leave you.”

“I know Shane wanted to get rid of me.” He stopped. “I know Shane saw me as some sort of threat, and so did Andrea.” 

“Annah... they’re gone now. And everyone who’s here wants you here. You have to believe me when I say that I-“ He stuttered for a moment. “That we want you here.” I scoffed and flicked his hand off my shoulder.

"That assumption holds about as much water as the Sahara Desert."

"Actually-"

"Seriously, Carl?" I rolled over and held an angry glare to counter his softer, more supportive one.

"Who said it was an assumption? You've barely been with us a year, yet from what I can tell, everyone loves you. Maggie and Glenn treat you like you're their daughter, and my dad... he trusted you enough to go onto the prison grounds and fight off those Walkers in there."

"I had to beg him to let me do that."

"Still... he caved and let you. If he didn't trust you, he would have forced you to say behind... probably wouldn't have even let you kill them from beyond the fence." His hand returned to my shoulder, even softer than the first time. "Everyone here trusts you, Annahbelle." I refused to say anything. I couldn't believe the things he was saying, as much as I wanted to. "When we were back at Hershel's farm, and Dale..." I could hear him struggling to speak. "The Walker that killed Dale was the one we saw in the woods." My eyes went wide and I sat up, turning to face him. 

"I should have killed it when we were in those woods..."

"I shouldn't have gone into the woods in the first place. I was... I wasn't thinking, I guess." I shifted and hugged him around his waist. 

"You've been living with that for this long?"

"Yeah..." I tightened my grip.

"I understand what that's like. I... I've lived with a lot of things as well. And I'm sure there are going to be many more to come. But... we have the people in this group to help us get through it."

_Now I'm told that this is life_

_and pain is just a simple compromise_

_so we can get what we want out of it_

_Would someone care to classify,_

_our broken hearts and twisted minds_

_so I can find someone to rely on_

_and run_

_to them, to them_

_full speed ahead._

_Oh you are not, useless._

_We are just_

_misguided ghosts._

_Traveling endlessly._

_The ones we trusted the most,_

_pushed us far away._

_And there's no one road_

_and we should not be the same._

_But I'm just a ghost_

_and still they echo me._

_They echo me in circles_


	12. Chapter 12

Carl and I rushed out of our cell to chaos. T-Dog, Daryl, Rick, Maggie, and Glenn rushed back into our cell block with Hershel on some sort of cart, moaning and bleeding. His leg was gone, replaced by a stump oozing red.

"Oh, my god."

"Daddy!"

"Go, go, go, go, go. In there," Carol ordered.

"Turn it. Turn it. Turn around."

"This way. Get him on the bed." Hershel was wheeled into his cell and everyone crowded around him.

"He got bit." Shock set into me like settling dust. Hershel had been bit? No... no... we couldn't lose him.

"Oh, my God, he's gonna turn."

"Did you cut it off?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you got it in time." People got their hands underneath him and began to lift Hershel.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

"One, two, three." They got him onto his bed, and crimson stained the already dirty sheets. Carol began to unwrap the cloth from Hershel's stump, and I felt my stomach churn at the sight of stringy muscle and tissue hanging on from where the bottom part of the old man's leg used to be, white bone making itself seen among the sea of red.

"Oh! Oh! I need bandages!"

"We used everything we had," Glenn informed her.

"Well, get more. Anything."

"Carl, go get the towels from the back, right next to my bed," his mother ordered. He nodded and rushed from the room as I groped at the air until I found the rough wall to rest against.

"Is he gonna die?" Beth asked, voice breaking.

"No, no, no, no," Lori tried to assure her. "He's gonna be okay. He's gonna be okay." I took deep breath and tried to calm myself down. These were the things I would have to get used to. After all, this was the world now. It was gruesome and unforgiving.

"You think you can stabilize him?" Rick asked.

"I need to keep his leg elevated. Get some pillows!"

"He's already bled through the sheets. We can burn the wound to clot the blood. I can start a fire."

"No, please don't do it."

"No, the shock could kill him. It's not gonna stop the arteries from bleeding. We need to just keep it dressed and let it heal on its own." Glenn leaned down and pressed two of his fingers next to Hershel's Adams Apple, trying to find a pulse.

"Oh, God." My heart dropped into my stomach. "His pulse is slowing." Carl came back with the towels and handed them off to his mother, and when he came back to stand by me, I found myself constricting his arm with both of mine, wanting something human to hold on to. I felt him look down at me as I stared with wide eyes at the horror that was unfolding in front of us, then placed a hand on one of mine. From the distance, we heard shouting.

"What was that?" 

"Prisoners, survivors," Rick answered, acting as though it were nothing.

"What?" 

"It's all right. Everybody stay put." Rick and Glenn left the cell, while Carol and Lori got back to work trying to save Hershel. Eventually, Glenn came back in and practically attached himself to Hershel's side. Carl noticed his father was leaving and let go, rushing out to try and join him, wherever he was going.

"Carl!" I cried, following after him. I shut the door and locked it, staring at him for a moment before going back into the cell. He wanted to go out there, even after what had just happened to Hershel. He was nuts. Carol and Lori were still hard at work, their efforts seemingly amounting to nothing.

"It has to stop eventually, right?"

"It slowed down quite a bit already." I was one of the only ones left in here by this point. Carol and Lori didn't seem to mind having me in here, or they at least hadn't told me to leave yet. Carl hadn't come back in, opting instead to lean against the door and look in from the outside. "If we can get him through this-"

"When we get him through this."

"-we'll need crutches."

"Right now we could use some antibiotics and painkillers, some sterile gauze."

"There's got to be an infirmary here."

"If there is, we'll find it. You've gotta be worried sick about delivering the baby." I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and noticed Carl was walking away. I began to run after him, and when I got up, he interjected before I could say anything.

"We need to get those supplies for Hershel, so I'm going to find that infirmary. You can come with me if you want, but please, Annah, don't try and stop me." I sighed and looked at my broken shoes. He was right...

"Give me a second. I'll get my pole." I rushed into our cell and grabbed my weapon and a bag to carry the supplies in, then came back out and joined him. "All right, let's go. But know that if there's any chance you could end up like Hershel, I'm forcing you to retreat. Got it?" He nodded. We set off, and all the while, I could feel him look at me every now and then. It got to a point where I needed to ask. "What?" He seemed a little startled.

"Huh?"

"Why do you keep looking at me?" 

"I'm trying to figure you out." I chuckled.

"What does that mean?" 

"Well, there's still so much about you that we don't know. Nobody thinks it's a problem, I just... I want to know more about you."

"Carl, I... I don't talk about it because it's really hard for me to." He sighed and placed his gun into its holster.

"Can I at least ask you a few questions?" I approached this with caution.

"S-sure..."

"I'm really sorry if these are invasive, but my dad was supposed to ask them when you first showed up, and then, well, you wouldn't talk, and then the barn burnt down and... all this stuff happened that kept him from doing it. But I want to know."

"Get on with it, Grimes!" I teased.

"Okay... one- how many Walkers have you killed?" I thought back for a moment.

"Until that day I came to Hershel's barn, none." He seemed shocked by that.

"Two- how many people have you killed?"

"None," I answered coolly. 

"Three- why?" I swallowed as my words caught in my throat.

"I've never had the heart to." There was silence between us for a moment.

"That's a good answer." I smiled and looked at him.

"What about you, Grimes? Would you ever kill anyone?" He didn't even hesitate.

"Only if they tried to kill us first."

"You promise?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?"

"Promise me you'll only kill someone if they attack us first."

"Annah..."

"I mean it," I snapped. "If you can't do anything else for me, promise you'll only kill if the person attacks us or one of the people in our group first." His confused face melted into a smile.

"I promise." We came across a door I had never seen before.

"Could this be it?" I asked, lowering my voice in case there were any Walkers nearby.

"I hope so." He pulled out his gun and I gripped the cold metal I carried with me. "I'll open it on the count of three." I nodded and he began to count. "One... two... three." He opened the door and we kept ourselves ready, just in case we were about to get attacked. Two rotting monsters lumbered their way toward us, but we were able to quickly take them out. Cautiously, we lowered our weapons and took in the hopeful surroundings. Beds were lined up in rows, blankets sprawled out everywhere from what was likely chaotic fleeing. There were cabinets toward the back that looked to be sealed, and I could see supplies plied up inside them.

"We've hit jackpot!" I raced over to the cabinets and began loading stuff up into the large, brown bag. Capsules of pills and rolls of bandages, as well as some disinfectant and a few other miscellaneous items. "We can save Hershel. Come on." Carl grabbed a few more supplies, then he held the door open and we raced back to where everyone else was. Glenn spotted us and his expression fell to one that was almost angry.

"I thought you were organizing the food." I glared at Carl. Had he lied to them?

"Even better." I set the bag down between Lori and Carol. "Check it out." They began rifling through everything.

"Where did you get this?"

"From the infirmary. Wasn’t much left, but we cleared it out.” Carl seemed so proud of himself, even though this was a team effort.

“You went by yourselves?” I could tell Lori was mad. Or possibly just worried.

“Yeah.”

“Are you crazy?”

“No big deal. We killed two Walkers.” I sighed. I was hoping he wouldn’t mention that part.

“You- All right, you see this?” She glanced at Hershel, then back to her son, who nodded. “This was with the whole group.”

“We needed supplies, so I got them.” This was now purely about Carl and Lori.

“I appreciate that, but-“

“Then get off my back!” I’d had enough.

“Carl!“ He looked at me. “She’s your mother. You can’t talk to her like that.” His lips went tight.

“Listen, I think it’s great you want to help-“ He ran from the cell and I sighed, starting to regret my choices. 

“I should have stopped him. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Annah,” Carol ordered. “These supplies can save Hershel.” I swore I caught her glare at Lori for just a second, but it could have been my imagination. They silently patched him up. “These bandages will help prevent infection.”

“It’s good,” Glenn piped up. “It’s good he taught you all this stuff.” Carol sighed.

“He didn’t teach me everything.” She glanced at all of us for a moment, then focused on Glenn. “I need your help with something.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now.”

“What is it?”

“Not here.”

“I can’t leave Hershel.”

“This is important,” Carol argued.

“Carol, I can’t-“

“Go on,” Lori urged. “We’ve got this.”

"No way," Glenn shot back. I looked around at all the faces and thought about stepping up, but I knew they would never let me do whatever this was. Not after the infirmary incident.

"We'll be fine." Beth was practically shoving him out of the cell at this point.

"We're not gonna be gone long."

"Rick said for me-"

"We're fine," Maggie snapped. Glenn sighed and retreated.

"All right." Lori finished dressing Hershel's wounds and sighed, then stood and looked at me.

"We should go, Annah. Leave these two with their father." I nodded and walked out of the cell with her. But I didn't want to return to my cell just yet, so I went up to what Daryl called The Perch and sat with my own thoughts. I didn't want Hershel to die, even though I'd only known him for a short time. He'd helped me get better when I came here, sick and weak, and had allowed me to stay in a room in his home. To any other, that might seem like nothing, but after everything I had been through, it was like heaven. I sighed and messed with my unruly hair, pulling apart the split ends. I could just... cut it all off right now. It wouldn't look good, but it provided one less risk for myself, as well as others.

The metal stairs creaked, and a head appeared once the person had climbed high enough. I smiled at her as she sat down beside me.

"You know, I cannot thank you enough for how happy you make my son." I felt myself blush. "I mean it. He just... lights up when you're around." She took a deep breath, as though about to go underwater. "He's been one of the youngest ever since this thing started. He didn't really see his friends much before the beginning, and then... he never saw them again. He met Sophia when we found the others but... I could tell there was something in him had hardened. He's... I worry about what he'll do sometimes. After the infirmary today, I'm afraid he's going to snap someday. And if I can't be here-" She stopped. Lori had just revealed there was a part of her afraid of delivering the baby.

"I'm here," I cut in. "I can... try my best to keep him the way you remember him. I haven't known him beyond what I've seen these past few months, but... I see that good in him. It well get him far in this." I mentally smacked myself for sounding like some weird old monk character in a childrens' TV show.

"Somebody help! Somebody!" I shot up at the sound of Beth's desperate cries. "Please help!" Lori and I raced down the stairs and into the cell where Hershel was resting. She pressed her ear against the old man's chest, and stared at him for a moment, before opening his mouth and attempting to resuscitate him.

"Come on." I could feel adrenaline building in me, and I began to shake and shudder, until I felt a hand strongly grip mine. I looked over and just barely registered that it was Carl before turning back to watching Lori attempt to revive Hershel. My heart was slowly climbing up out of my body, until it halted altogether when Hershel's arm wrapped around Lori's neck and yanked her down. I heard all of our screams ringing in my ears. Maggie shot forward and managed to pull Lori away to reveal Hershel, alive and well. He hadn't turned. My fear slowly resolved into relief as Hershel drifted off to sleep. My thoughts were with me once again and my heart rate had slowed. That was, until I turned to my left and saw Carl aiming his gun at the old man. My eyes widened in horror.

"Carl, please... put it down..." I whispered. Cautiously, he lowered the weapon and looked at me. My gaze flickered away, unable to bear looking at him, as my hands ran their way up to my forearms as a form of comfort. He was really about to shoot Hershel... 

The entrance to the cell block squeaked open and closed as Glenn returned. They made their way over, and as soon as he was near me, I buried my face in Glenn's shirt. Without hesitation, his arms wrapped around my waist and he attempted to comfort me, not daring to ask what was wrong. After a few moments, I composed myself, but remained close to Glenn, feeling an odd comfort in his presence. Carl tried to strike up a conversation with me a few times, but I would just answer shortly, still trying to process everything.

Our attentions were diverted by the cell block entrance creaking once again, this time bringing back Daryl, T-Dog, and Rick.

"Hershel stopped breathing," Carl immediately told him. "Mom saved him."

"It's true."

"Still no fever." Everyone began to crowd around the old man, anxious to see what would happen next. We took a collective breath as his eyes fluttered open.

"Daddy?" Maggie gasped. I smile crossed his face and it quickly spread around.

"Daddy," Beth cried. The two girls leaned down and hugged their father tight as Rick removed the handcuffs. I sighed contently and smiled before wandering back to my cell. However, as soon as I did, the weight of everything that had happened today crashed down upon me, and the moment I sat on my bed, I burst into body-racking sobs. Footsteps sprinted toward me, and Carl pulled me into a silent hug, allowing me to cry out everything that had happened.

I could hope things would get better from here, but deep down, I knew the truth.


	13. Chapter 13

I warily watched from my cell as Carl cleaned a few of the guns on the staircase. He had grown a little too attached to those things in my opinion, and after Lori's wary words from yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder who Carl was going to turn out to be. There were moments when I couldn't even tell if we were friends or not. He was so hot and cold with everyone...

Lori and Beth entered the cell block, the older of which carrying a pair of crutches for Hershel, who had been returned to his regular cell. Carl stood and followed close behind, so I turned around and started organizing things in here. Carl was a bit disorganized, but it was a little difficult to create too much of a mess when you didn't have that much to begin with.

There was a clicking down the hall, and I looked up to see the four from the cell smiling at me. 

"Annah, we're going to take a walk with Hershel. You wanna come?" I smiled at Carl.

"I would love to, I just... have all your stuff to clean up," I teased. He scoffed and practically dragged me out of the cell and into the sunshine. I sighed and yanked my hair from its ponytail, a sense of freedom washing over me as sunlight kissed my skin and a gentle breeze played with my loose shirt. We gently eased Hershel down the stairs and made our way toward the others from our group, who appeared to be preparing to go on a run.

"You cleared all those bodies out?" Hershel asked. "It's starting to look like a place we could really live in."

"Hey, you watch your step," Lori cautioned. "Last thing we need is you falling."

"All right, Hershel!" I heard Glenn yell from the distance. Carl and I looked at each other and laughed. Glenn was so goofy, so full of personality.

"You're doing great, Daddy." 

"Ready to race, Hershel?" I shot Carl a look, despite the fact I knew he was being playful.

"Give me another day. I'll take you on." I'd smiled and laughed more in the past few minutes than I had ever since I left 'home.' 

That idea in itself had changed entirely. 'Home' was no longer wherever my father said it was. It wasn't a place where I had to pretend to go along with everything happening, acting like there was nothing wrong with it. Home was with these people... Hershel, Beth, Maggie, Glenn, T-Dog, Rick, Lori, Daryl, Carol... Carl. It was wherever they went, wherever we ended up. No matter how dangerous. 

We rounded the corner and stopped, staring back at the others through the fence. Everything was content and peaceful, quiet...

That was until I heard a low growling from behind us. Dread sank to the pit of my stomach as I slowly turned around and saw rotting corpses shambling their way over to us.

"Walkers! Look out!" I hadn't brought my pole, thinking I wouldn't need it, so instead I, along with Beth, helped Hershel get to safety as I worriedly watched the other shoot at them.

"Come in here!" Rick called out to us. Beth swung open the gate and we held it so that Hershel could get through.

"Daddy, behind you!" Hershel slammed one of his crutches again a Walker and knocked it down the stairs before hopping back to safety. I turned my attention back to where we had been just in time to see Lori, Carl, and Maggie escape to safety. However, Carol and T-Dog were still in there. He managed to shut the gate, but one Walker had stayed behind. I watched in horror as it bit down onto his shoulder and took out a large chunk. I started screaming.

"No!" Rick managed to unlock the gate, and he, Daryl, and Glenn made their way in to finish the last ones off.

"What the hell happened?"

"The gate was open!"

"Where's Lori, Carl- everyone?"

"Maggie led Lori and Carl into C block."

"And T was bit," I wailed. 

"Anyone else?"

"I couldn't tell."

"Stay put!" I swung open the gate and picked up a piece of loose wire.

"I'm coming with you."

"No, Annah, you need to stay here."

"I need to make sure Carl is safe just as much as you do." He looked at me with a strange facial expression for a few moments, before caving.

"Stay close and keep your guard on _high_ alert." Daryl shot down a couple more Walkers, and Glenn caught up to us with some interesting news. 

"Those chains didn't break on their own. Someone took an ax or cutters to 'em." The Walkers around us had all fallen when two former prisoners Rick had rescued wandered into the area, looking completely confused. "You think they did it?"

"Who else?"

"We can't rule them out, but I wouldn't be so quick to blame them..." The prison's alarm pierced my ear drums as it blared loudly, drawing the attention of every Walker within the distance the alarm reached- likely all over the city.

"What's that?"

"Oh- you've gotta be kidding me!" More of the decrepit undead clawed at the fence as they stumbled their way closer.

"Daryl!" Rick tossed him a gun, and the three of them shot at the speakers outside, trying to silence the building's screaming.

"Kill it!" Hershel encouraged.

I would have helped... had I known how to use a gun.

"Back up!" Hershel and Beth moved aside as Rick fired at the device above the cage they were in. "How the hell can this be happening?" My eyes went wide as Rick pointed his gun toward the two prisoners. Sudden and violent flashbacks were slapping me in the face. 

"Whoa- whoa- whoa!" The taller one stuck his hands up in surrender. "It has to be the backup generators."

"Well, how do you turn those on?"

"There's three connected to a diesel tank, okay? Each one controls a certain part of the prison. The hacks shut 'em all off when the prison was overrun."

"Can someone open up the main gates electronically with full power?"

"I only worked in there a few days. I guess it might be possible." Rick suddenly grabbed him by the shirt and turned him in the direction we all were heading.

"Come with us!"

"Let's go!" We quickly sprinted into the prison, red lights illuminating the usually darkened hallways. I stopped for a moment and looked down at the single piece of wire in my hands. This wasn't going to be enough...

"Rick, I need to get my pole." I turned to leave, but he roughly grabbed onto my arm and turned me to face him. My heart rate quickened and I flinched, covering my face. "Don't do it! Please!" The tight grip suddenly released, and when I opened my eyes, everyone was staring at me with either wide eyes or slightly agape mouths. I cleared my throat and stood up straight. "I... apologize."

"Do... do you think you can handle yourself on the way back?" I nodded. "Go ahead, then." I sprinted down the hall, but when I turned the corner, I got sidetracked. Three figures were cautiously inching their way down it. The shorter one was unmistakable.

"Carl?" He hesitated for a moment before I ran down the hall to meet him, wrapping him into a tight hug. "Thank God you three are okay."

"Carl, Annah, we have to keep moving," Maggie urged. I knew she wasn't trying to be harsh. We needed to protect Lori. We turned around another corner, when Lori suddenly groaned and leaned against the wall. "Can you keep up?"

"Something's not right." Lori's voice was strained, holding almost an injured element to it.

"Are you bit?"

"No, no, no. I think the baby's coming." She began to slide down the wall as our eyes went wide. This couldn't happen! Not now and _certainly_ not here, without Hershel or Carol to help.

"Mom?" Snarling came from our left as a large group of Walkers rounded the corner. Carl held up his gun to defend his mother and Maggie and I tried to help her stand.

"No, there's no time. Turn back." Maggie and I pulled her around the corner, being forced to turn around due to more Walkers approaching. Carl kept an eye out, and swung open a metal door.

"In here!" We rushed Lori into the room as Carl attempted to slam the old door shut. It took quite a few tries, but he was finally able to slam it. Although that likely drew a lot of attention, the sturdy and sealed door would keep us safe. Lori cried out in pain as she tried to make her way to a point where she could deliver the baby. But at this rate, there was no way that it would be safe. Carl looked up at his mom, terrified, and I grabbed onto his hand, the flowery bracelet bouncing up and down my skeletal wrist.

"What are those alarms?" she gasped.

"Don't worry about it." Maggie helped Lori to the very back of the room.

"What if it attracts them?" Everyone chose to ignore the question, more pressing matters demanding our attention.

"Lori, let's lay you down."

"No- the baby's coming right now."

"We have to get back to our cell block and have Hershel help."

"We can't risk getting caught out there. You're gonna need to give birth to this baby here."

"Great." Lori's breathing quickly increased, the pain growing to be too much.

"What is she doing? Can't she breathe?" I shook my head.

"She's fine."

"Come here- let's get your pants off." Carl turned around to give his mother privacy, and I squeezed his hand harder as it shook more furiously. We turned back around once we heard Lori lay down on the ground, and Maggie immediately jumped into things. "You're gonna need to help deliver your brother or sister." Maggie's voice was uncharacteristically harsh. "You up for it?" After a few moments of hesitation, Carl nodded. But I could tell he was terrified, and for good reason. I could barely see straight through my panicked haze. "I'll do an exam. Let me see if you're dilated."

"Okay. Do you know how?"

"Dad taught me, but trust me, it's my first time." After a few seconds, Maggie sat up. "I can't tell."

"I gotta push. I gotta push." Lori stood. "Somebody!" Screaming, crying, and banging: the only things I could hear. "I'm okay. I'm okay."

"Okay." Water danced across everyone's faces. "You're doing great, Lori. Just keep doing it." My eyes remained wide as I watched Carl. "Your body knows what to do. Let it do all the work." Maggie tried her best to help Lori. "Lori, don't push-stop. Something's wrong." Blood flowed like a waterfall. Maggie grabbed onto Lori and laid her down. The woman's face had gone nearly white, sweat causing her to have an almost angelic glow. Carl released my hand and knelt down beside his mother.

"Mom? Mom, look at me, look at me," he instructed. "Keep your eyes open. We have to get you back to Dad."

"I'm not gonna make it," she whispered weakly.

"Lori, with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet." Air began to bite at the back of my throat. This couldn't be happening... "No amount of pushing is gonna help."

"I know what it means, and I'm not losing my baby. You've gotta cut me open." Maggie seemed shocked.

"No, I can't."

"You don't have a choice."

"I'll go for help." Carl jumped up.

"No!" I held out my arm to stop him, but my eyes couldn't leave the ground, trying to hide my tears.

"Carol's the one that practiced that. Dad only taught me the steps, Lori. If I-"

"Please."

"I have no anesthetic, no equipment-"

"Carl has a knife."

"You won't survive." Lori already seemed at peace with this idea.

"My baby has to survive. Please. My baby... for all of us. Please, Maggie! Please!" I clasped my hand over my mouth as I began to choke on sobs. Maggie shook her head again. "Please. You see my old C-section scar?"

"I can't."

"You can. You have to." Carl knelt back down next to his mother, his demeanor completely changed. He was defeated, seemingly numb. "Carl? Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay?" He began to cry. "This is what I want. This is right. Now you- you take care of your daddy for me, all right? And your little brother or sister, you take care-"

"You don't have to do this," he sobbed.

"You're gonna be fine. You are gonna beat this world. I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you."

"I love you too."

"You gotta do what's right, baby. You promise me, you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So don't- so if it feels wrong, don't do it, all right? If it feels easy, don't do it. Don't let the world spoil you." She placed her hand on her son's cheek. "You're so good. You're my sweet boy. You're the best thing I ever did. And I love you." They both broke down into sobs as he leaned down to hug her. "I love you."

This couldn't be it. People weren't even here to say goodbye. There were so many who would never get to see her off... This couldn't be how it ended for her.

"You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you." I held myself up against the wall as tears continued to flow. I didn't think I had any more left. "Okay- okay now. Okay. Maggie, when this is over, you're gonna have to-"

"Shh-"

"You have to do it. It can't be Rick." Maggie took a few deep breaths. "All right... all right." Carl took his mother's hand. "It's all right. It's all right." He removed his knife from its sheath and hesitantly passed it into Maggie's hands. "Whew. Whew... Good night, love."

"I'm sorry, Lori." I slammed my eyes shut and covered my ears as Lori screamed.

"What are you doing to her?"

"Carl, give me your hands. Carl, please. You should keep the site clean, okay. I cut too deep, I'm gonna cut the baby. Okay, come on... I see it! I see the ears. I'm gonna pull it out. I can't tell if this is the arm or the leg. Okay, I'm gonna pull the baby out. Okay..." I didn't open my eyes until I heard a strong wail. "We have to go," Maggie urged.

"We can't just leave her here. She'll turn." We all stared at each other. "No."

"Carl..." He removed his gun from its holster and my eyes went wide. 

"She's my mom." Without any other words, Maggie and I left the room, giving Carl space.

Screaming, crying, and a bang: the only things I could hear.

Water danced across everyone's faces.

The door opened, and my eyes remained wide as I watched Carl.

I dared to look back.

Blood flowed like a waterfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a powerful episode.... I hope I did it justice


	14. Chapter 14

Emotional numbness is one of the worst sensations. Your mind knows that you can feel, but your body refuses to accept that. The sunlight that had once been a warm blanket now burned holes in my skin, heart weight down my entire body. Outside was not a place for children to play and families to bond. This prison was no longer somewhere safe for us to live for a while. Everywhere was a place where people inevitably died and turned if you didn't kill their brain. 

The most painful part, of course, was facing Rick.

His attention was immediately snapped to us as the baby girl wailed loudly. I refused to get within a foot of Carl. This was what Lori had warned me about: that eagerness to wave his gun around. On one end, that could have been viewed as a noble act. But he had done it with little hesitation.

Rick seemed to know as he approached us, shaking his head.

"Where-where is she? Where is she?" He began to storm back into the prison, but Maggie grabbed onto him.

"No... Rick, no." He broke down into sobs.

"Oh, no. No! No!" Glenn held Maggie, and I made my way over to them. Comfort did almost nothing to make me feel better, but right now, I needed something... anything... someone. "Oh!" Rick collapsed to the ground as I buried my face in Glenn's shirt, unable to keep watching.

There had been trauma in my life. I could never forget the things I had seen in my life since all of this had started. But I didn't know those people. I had seen the fear in their eyes long enough to keep me awake at night, but I hadn't ever spoken to them, taken the time to know who they were. 

They weren't family.

The baby's cries slammed against my skull, ripping away at my skin and yanking my heart from my chest. Daryl cautiously approached the grieving man.

"Rick, are you with me? Rick?" He didn't respond. The child was passed to her older brother, who was clearly trying to meet my eyes. I kept myself pressed against Glenn and looking off into the distance.

"Let me see the baby," Hershel insisted.

"What are we gonna feed her?"

"We have anything a baby can eat?"

"The good news is she looks healthy. But she needs formula. And soon or she won't survive."

"Nope. No way. Not her. We ain't losing nobody else. I'm going for a run."

"I'll back you up," Maggie chimed in.

"I'll go, too." 

"I want to go, too." Everyone looked at me. I could tell Daryl was about to protest, but I beat him to the punch. "Please. I just... I need to." He seemed to recognize something in my eyes and nodded. Glenn handed me the knife he normally carried with him, since I didn't want to go back and get my usual weapon.

"Okay, think where we're going. Beth." He pulled her aside and whispered something to her, then turned back to the others. "You two get the fence," he ordered the rescued prisoners. "Too many pile up, we got ourselves a problem. Glenn, Maggie, Annah, vamanos." Rick grabbed his ax from the ground and stormed back into the grey building. 

"Rick!" He ignored Maggie.

"Get the gate. Come on, we're gonna lose the light!" We ran close behind him.

"There's a Piggly Wiggly on 85."

"No, the baby section's been cleared. Lori asked me to keep an eye out. I haven't had much luck."

"Is there any place that hasn't been completely looted?"

"We saw signs for a shopping center just north of here," Glenn informed us.

"Yeah, but there's too much debris on the road." I had only been on one run before this but had taken the time to memorize blocked routes. "A car will never get through there."

"I can take one of you."

"I'll go," I piped up. "I'm the smallest. It makes sense."

"No, Annah, after everything that you've been through, okay, I'll go."

"I want to go. For Lori, I have to. And... I just need to be away from Carl right now." He sighed.

"Okay." He reached down and hugged me, then Maggie did the same.

"We love you. Be safe." I stood there for a moment, unable to move. Did they just say that they... loved me? How could they? They barely knew me...

"I-I will." I climbed onto Daryl's bike and held onto him as we sped away. Normally, the wind would have been one of the most freeing sensations in the world, but now... there was something about it that made me feel guilty. I was outside the walls everyone else was trapped in, forced to swim in the reality of what had happened. I only had to deal with it in my head, but the others... they were surrounded by it.

"What's your deal?" I was shocked. Daryl's words were typically meant to be harsh, but he asked with a kind tone.

Daryl was the one I knew the least about. He really kept to himself and hung out away from everyone else. If someone tried to talk to him, he'd give the shortest possible answer.

"Huh?"

"You came out of nowhere, you don't know how to shoot a gun, and you avoid killing Walkers at all costs. Don't think I've seen anyone like you."

"I lived inside sheltered walls," I admitted. "I was never allowed to leave. If I did, I..." I trailed off, unable to speak of the consequences.

"You don't have to talk about that part if you don't want to." Daryl's tough attitude seemed to fade away. "I think we all kind of figured it out yesterday when you... you know." I nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see it.

Daryl pulled off the road as soon as we reached the wreckage, bringing us to what appeared to be an old nursery.

"Company's close," he cautioned. "Stay tight." I nodded and yanked on the old wire gate until it opened, letting us into a rusting play area. There was a haunting presence that chilled me deeply, but I shook myself off and peered through one of the dusty windows. Seeing no imminent danger, I picked up a loose brick and used it to shatter the glass before carefully climbing inside, making sure to not accidentally slice myself. The icy blue walls were covered in paper hand prints, each one with a different name written sloppily inside as children attempted to figure out how to hold a marker. Toys were scattered haphazardly on the shaggy and crusted rugs, contrasting with the few pristine cribs against the wall with blankets rustled as babies were yanked out in a hurry. There were still a few little shoes scattered by coat racks.

It was a perfect tableau of the horrors of this world.

I contained my sadness as I knelt down and searched some of the cabinets. There was a pack of two bottles, some burp cloths, and a multitude of diapers. As I shoved supplies into the bag that Daryl had given me, he climbed through the window and scanned around to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Once the bag was mostly full, I nodded at my companion and he cautiously opened the door to the dimly lit hallway. If there were emergency lights, they were long dead, leaving only vague sunlight to illuminate our path.

We followed a faint rattling to a two-part door closing us off from a kitchen. If we were going to find formula anywhere, it was here. Flashlight clamped between his teeth, Daryl opened the rest of he door and nodded at a trembling closet. After a deep breath, I swung it open, thankfully revealing only a mere possum. It hissed at the sudden disturbance before Daryl shot an arrow through its stomach.

"Hello, dinner." I scoffed and turned to search through the cabinets.

"I'm not putting that in my bag." Cans of powdered formula were transferred from behind the oak doors to the dark pockets of the cloth bag. "Great. Let's get out of here." We dashed out and to Daryl's bike, speeding off to get back before tomorrow's daybreak.

"Sorry you had to see all that," he shouted over the roar of the engine.

"I've seen a lot worse since this world got turned on its head." I moved my flapping ponytail out of my face. "Carl scares me," I suddenly admitted.

"What?"

"Carl scares me sometimes. He's so quick to use his gun, I just... it reminds me too much of where I came from." By the time we got back to the prison, it was completely dark out. Glenn shot at the Walkers in the yard, while two of the prisoners banged sticks and shovels to draw strays away from us. The gate was swung open, and as soon as Daryl stopped his bike, I hopped off and dashed to Block C. It wasn't hard to find my way to it, seeing as how the baby was crying and screaming, but there was comfort in knowing that at least she was alive. I came back to thankfully find no one else had gotten hurt while we were gone. 

Well, Rick was missing, but I'm sure everyone saw that coming.

"Beth." She came over and I began to unload things, handing control over to her once everything was laid out for her.

"How's she doing?" Carl shifted his little sister in his arms and began to hand her off to Daryl. "Shh," he cooed as she continued to scream.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh..." I couldn't help but smile as he stood with a little baby in his arms. This was a completely different Daryl. Beth came back over with a bottle for the baby to drink from. "Come on. Come on." She finally latched onto the rubber end and began to drink. "She got a name?"

"Not yet," Carl answered. "But I was thinking maybe Sofia." I took in a breath. That was the girl I had... "Then there's Carol, to. And... Andrea. Amy. Jacqui." Those two must have been a part of the group before I was. "Patricia. Or... Lori, I don't know." Daryl turned his attention back to she-who-has-no-name.

"Yeah... You like that? Huh? Little ass-kicker?" He looked up as though asking for approval. "Right? That's a good name, right?" We all chuckled. "Little ass-kicker You like that, huh? You like that, sweetheart?" She finished drinking and was handed to Beth so that she could be burped. Once all was said and done, she was back in the arms of Carl and everyone retreated to their cells, leaving the boy and I alone. Moonlight beamed in to illuminate the space where we were standing.

"C-Can I hold her?" Carl turned and smiled at me.

"Of course." He walked over and gently placed her in my arms. She immediately yawned and stirred slightly, causing me to smile. "This is Big Sister Annah. She's gonna be around for a long time." I was slightly caught off guard by the 'Big Sister,' but I chose to let it slide, sighing and hoping the latter part of Carl's statement was true.

The mood of the moment suddenly shifted as Carl placed his hands on my forearms and sighed.

"She's so little," I marveled.

"Yeah..." She looked so peaceful. "Her hand barely fits around one of my fingers." I could feel my eyelids begging to close.

"We should probably get some sleep." Carl nodded and took her from my hands as we headed back to our cell. Carl swaddled her tightly to a point where she could at least be a little bit comfortable as she slept. We faced opposite sides of the room as we slipped into what could function as pajamas. After making sure the door of our cell was secure, we climbed into bed. Just as my eyelids were drifting shut, a voice from above woke me back up.

"Annah? I-I don't want to sleep by myself. Can I come down there?" My brain had to take a moment to process what he had asked, but I couldn't leave Carl alone after everything had happened.

"Sure." There was creaking from above me as the shadow of Carl jumped down onto the cement floors. I scooted against the wall, allowing Carl to climb under the covers with room to spare. He looked at me with broken eyes, and the pang of my heart pushed me to move closer and place one of my hands on his arm. We both relaxed, and I found myself sleeping a little easier than I normally did that night.


	15. Chapter 15

Fear, more often than not, is either a driving force or an inhibitor. For me, it's the latter. Fear causes me to freeze, to avoid the source to the point where, hopefully, I never see it again. So the fact that I was still going back and talking to Carl was some sort of miracle. 

Truth was, it was a little tough to keep away from him, what with the close quarters and all. Also because he was the only person my age, most likely. There was just... some weird pull. It was just barely the start of a yank, but it was there.

Part of it must have been the sympathetic aspect. He had just lost his mother, had to knock her off himself. The trauma of that sort of thing is on an unimaginable scale. One that would cause you to lose parts of yourself you didn't even know were important. Once of those would be your appetite. So while the rest of us tentatively ate the stale cereal, he simply stared down at it with broken, blue eyes. I could feel a pang in my chest, and did the only thing I felt I could do: I gently place one of my hands over his.

"Everyone okay?" We were all slightly startled to see Rick standing at the other side of the entrance. He'd been gone since Lori had died, waiting who-knows-where for something, _anything_ to happen that would prove she was still alive.

"Yeah, we are." Everyone suddenly seemed incredibly tense as Rick slowly entered.

"What about you?"

"I cleared out the boiler block." I was slightly impressed. He had cleared out an entire block all by himself.

"How many were there?"

"I don't know. A dozen, two dozen. I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl." Glenn stood.

"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies. You don't have to."

"No, I do." He stormed over to Daryl. "Everyone have a gun and a knife."

"'Cept Annah. She doesn't know how to shoot," he answered. "We're running low on ammo, though."

"Maggie, Annah, and me were planning on making a run this afternoon." As much as I wanted to be here for Carl, I needed to be away for periods of time. "Found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula."

"We cleared out the generator room. Axel's there trying to fix it, in case of emergency. We're gonna sweep the lower levels as well."

"Good. Good." He quickly made his way out and slammed the door behind him.

"Rick." He didn't stop, so Hershel grabbed his crutches and slowly made his way up to stand.

"I'll go try and talk to him. But I can't expect results." I smiled at the old man as he made his way out. People got up and started getting ready for the day ahead of us. Carl, Daryl, and Oscar were going down to meet Axel, while Maggie, Glenn, and I prepared to go out on that run. I secured the strap that attached my pole to my back, trying not to look at Carl. There was a nervous air between us, the other clearly worried one of us wasn't going to make it back.

"Carl." I turned and looked at him. "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." He nodded, but I could tell he couldn't believe it.

"I just don't want you getting hurt, is all."

"I know. I'm trying not to think about you going into the fray down there myself, but... we have to keep our heads high." He removed his hat from his head and put it onto mine.

"Maybe that can keep you safe." I smiled at him.

"Thanks..."

"Annah! Come on, we're going!" I waved at Carl and rushed out of the cell to meet Glenn and Maggie. The three of us got into the red car and drove off. As soon as we were on the road, Maggie pulled out the phone book and began sifting through it. I reached up and began playing with the two strings on the brim.

“You seem as fond of that thing as its owner.” I looked up to see Glenn smiling at me in the mirror.

“There’s some comfort in having it,” I shrugged. “It adds a little extra bit of weight- even if it’s just on my head.”

“There was some study about weight providing comfort for anxious people,” Maggie interjected mindlessly, still looking at the circled names in the phone book.

“That’s a true fact. Before all of this started, I had an ESA that was afraid of thunderstorms, so we got her this weighted jacket to wear, and she stopped shaking whenever there was a clap of thunder or heavy rain.”

“ESA?”

“Emotional Service Animal. I would... thoughts would creep into my head that scared me. I wouldn’t be able to get them out, and I would have intense panic attacks.”

“Weren’t you somewhere around ten when all of this started?”

“I got her when I was five.” I didn’t give a second thought to my answer. People would often ask about her, but after I offered a response, they would either nod and back away or flash that smile you would offer to someone who’s not completely with it. Instead, a blue mood settled into the air of the car. “They still happen sometimes- mainly at night when I’m lying awake and thinking too much- but I try to keep them contained. I don’t want to wake Carl. He needs sleep now more than ever.” That couldn’t have been a clearer sign that I’d had one last night as well.

Several times after I said that, Glenn opened his mouth as though he had something to say, but in the end, would shut it before even a sound had the chance to escape. Maggie had stopped flipping through marked and dog-eared pages, instead staring out the window, eyes scanning ever single tree as though one of them would reveal some great secret if she looked close enough. My had had shifted from soft strings to cold metal, twirling the floral bracelet around my skeletal wrist. It certainly wasn’t healthy for a child to be this thin, but that was the nature of the world we lived in. Not everyone had enough to eat, so those viewed as the weakness or the reason everyone would be killed would give up their dinners and breakfasts in order to feed the ones who could actually defend themselves. 

We pulled up to the broken strip, signs upside-down and dark windows shattered. Maggie and Glenn stepped out first, doing a survey to make sure it was safe for me to get out.

"Clear outside," Maggie announced, signaling me to slide across the seats and open the rusting door.

"All right. Let's take a look." Glenn hesitated for a moment after speaking. "Hey." He leaned forward and gently kissed Maggie, as though he were afraid of breaking her.

"It's a beautiful day." She looked back at me and smiled. "You comin'?" I nodded and took large steps in their direction. As I approached Maggie extended her arm out and wrapped me up beneath it while Glenn grabbed the bolt cutters from the back and snapped the chain on the door. Birds rushed from the darkened space as they were released, causing Glenn to flinch and Maggie and I to duck. As soon as they were gone, Maggie and Glenn switched on their flashlights, and we entered the store. "Glenn, get that duck."

"What?" She shone her light on the stuffed animal.

"Get that duck." Glenn laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. A kid growing up in a prison could use some toys." Glenn bent down and picked it up before stuffing it into his bag. I glanced around at the shelves upon shelves of oddities, seemingly no order to them. There was food, clothing, toys, books... a seemingly endless supply of everything. Maggie and Glenn set me loose to find the things I wanted in order to keep myself calm and entertained. There was a mostly complete set of colored pencils, a giant pad of drawing paper, some books, and one of those stupid Rubix Cubes shoved haphazardly into my bag.

"Annah! Let's get going!" I was about to turn and leave, when I noticed a single comic book on the shelves.

_Carl might like that,_ I thought to myself. Gently, as to not tear or fold any of the eternally glossy pages, I lifted it from its place and slipped it gently into a separate pocket away from everything else I had grabbed. When I approached the pair, I noticed two shining, red, plastic basket in their hands.

"We hit the powdered formula jackpot!" Maggie opened her bag to reveal a sea of perfectly sealed cans. There was a comforting guarantee buried beneath all of them that the baby- still lacking a name- wouldn't go hungry for a long time. As long as we kept the area around Block C cleared, she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

If only the rest of us had that guarantee. Despite Carl's words last night holding the faintest distinction of a promise, I knew deep down the chances of him and I- and all of the others- making it long enough to lead somewhat normal lives was as thin and fragile as my chicken legs.

"Oh, thank god," Maggie sighed.

"I also got beans, batteries, cocktail wieners, many mustards. It's a straight shot back to the prison from here. Probably make it in time from dinner."

"I like the quiet," I admitted. "Back there, back home, you can always hear them outside the fence no matter where you are."

"And where is it y'all good people are calling home." I snatched my pole from its resting place and gripped it tightly in my knuckles as a creepy, perverted looking older man with a knife for one hand and a gun in the other smirking at us darkly. Glenn and Maggie pulled out their own guns and stood on either side of me.

"Merle?" I looked up at Glenn. He knew him? The man with the bloodied face laughed and set down his gun.

"Wow!" He started to get closer, and although his hands were up in surrender, I wasn't trusting it.

"Hey, back the hell up!" I shouted.

"Okay, okay, honey." The way he called me that sent a jarring chill down my spine. "Jesus."

"You made it."

"Can you tell me, is my brother alive?" Which one of us was his brother? No one in our group seemed like they could be related to this creep.

"Huh?"

"Yeah." He laughed and nodded, looking as though he were about to lose it. "Hey, you take me to him and I'll call it even on everything that happened up there in Atlanta." We all saw right through what he was doing. He wanted us to take him to the prison, likely to expose its location to someone who wanted to find a place to plunder and live. Though I was curious of what happened in Atlanta. "No hard feelings. Huh?" He noticed Glenn staring at his knife hand and cackled. "You like that? Huh? Yeah. Well, I found myself a medical supply warehouse. Fixed it up myself. Pretty cool, huh?"

"We'll tell Daryl you're here and he'll come out to meet you."

"Hold on. Just hold up."

"Whoa. Whoa."

"Hold up here. Hold up. Hey, the fact that we found each other is a miracle. Come on, now. You can trust me."

"You can trust us. You stay here." His expression suddenly changed, his laugh through clenched teeth. Suddenly, he pulled another gun out of his belt loop and shot in our direction. Luckily, we all moved out the way, and it simply shattered the back windshield.

"No!" I tried to swing as I felt an arm wrap around my neck and pull me to the ground, cold metal threatening to split the skin of my neck open and cause me to bleed out, and gunmetal shoved against my temple.

"Hey, hey, hold up, buddy, hold up." Glenn kept his gun ready to fire in case Merle tried anything.

"Let go of her. Let go of her!"

"Put that gun in the car right now. Put it in the car, son." He opened the door and placed the gun on the seat, putting his hands up. "There you go. Now, we're gonna go for a little drive."

"We're not going back to our camp."

"No, we're going somewhere else. Get in the car, Glenn! You're driving!" I whimpered, holding back terrified tears. "Move!"

"Don't."

"Get up." Glenn and Maggie got into the car and Merle yanked me along into the back, letting me go but keeping the gun close by. As soon as my hands were free, I grabbed onto the bracelet and held it tight. Glenn pulled away and followed Merle's directions without hesitation, not wanting something bad to happen to Maggie or myself, until we reached a large set of walls constructed around a community.

_What is this place? And... how far are we from home?_

As soon as Glenn pulled up, we were yanked out of the car by two other people and Merle himself and pulled into some sort of underground bunker, each shoved into different cells. Before shutting the door, Merle smirked at me.

"Nice hat." He was trying so hard to strike a chord, but I kept my expression solid until the door slammed and the footsteps were gone. 

My body crumpled into the fetal position and I began to sob hysterically into my hands, still keeping one wrapped around the bracelet. 

I'm sorry I broke my promise, Carl...


	16. Chapter 16

I wiped my eyes and shut my mouth as the door swung open, causing me to squint at the hallway lights. I couldn't make out the lanky figure standing there, but I knew they weren't someone I had seen before.

"Well hello there, sugar pie." He had a slow, southern drawl to his voice. Although in most cases, something like that would be comforting, but there was a growl behind it that made me want to just curl up again. "What, you're not going to say hello?" I kept my mouth slammed shut. "Well, now that's just rude." As he stepped closer, my hand flew to the bracelet as though it were some sort of shield. "Would it help if I covered more basic formalities." He crouched down, allowing me to get a better look at his face. Grey and black stubble poked its way out of his chin, blue eyes holding absolute lunacy behind them. He looked as though he had never smiled a day in his life, never loved anyone. "Now, my name is Phillip. But most people around here call me The Governor." The smile he offered look impatient and frustrated. "You wanna tell me yours." I stuck my nose up and turned away from him. Out of nowhere, he threw the hat off my head and grabbed me by the hair pulled against my scalp, keeping me threateningly close to his face. "Tell me your name," he growled. Keeping one hand on the bracelet, I slowly turned to face him.

"Go to hell," I spat. His eyes wandered to the unusual position my hands were in and pried them apart. His angry glare changed to a dark smirk.

"Now, now... what's this?" He ripped it from my wrist and threw me to the ground.

"No!" 

"This seems to be pretty important to you. What, did some pretty boy give it to you?" I tried to make my glance at the hat subtle, but it wasn't good enough. "Ah... I see." He extended his arm out in front of my face. "Here. Didn't realize it was that important." Cautiously, I began to reach up for it, but just as the pads of my fingertips brushed the cool metal, he threw it as hard as he could against the cement. Some of the links came undone, but that wasn't something I couldn't fix. I scrambled to try and pick up the pieces, but The Governor slammed his boot down on it. "Your other people out there are putting up their best fight. But don't think we won't find out where you came from." He shoved the broken pieces out of the way so that he could pick them up. "This is mine now." He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

_Carl's hat!_ I crawled over and picked up the hat, holding it in my hands as I broke down into another sobbing fit. 

The worst part had to be that no one from home knew we were here. Sure, they must have noticed we were gone, but they couldn't know where we were. Maybe I would never see them again. Maybe I was stuck here for the rest of my life, or maybe they would just come in and kill me in front of Maggie and Glenn. 

Maybe this was it for me.

All this time, running from Walkers- you forget what people do, have always done. I had never really seen what this world could do to the good people. I had lived behind sheltered walls, the worst things being the screams of the damned that my father and the others created. I had run and found the good people, and this is how the world treats them. It beats them down and takes away the ones they love the most as though they were nothing.

It could have already taken Maggie and Glenn, for all I know. They could already be gone, and I never got to say a word to them. The thought of that sent a painful shock throughout my body that knocked the wind out of me. I gasped and choked on air that I couldn't catch. Maybe I would never see Carl again, or Rick... any of them. I would never learn the baby's name or watch her grow up... It was all over for me, at this point.

"Get up, girly." I jumped at the sudden voice hovering over me. I refused to look up at the source- who was obviously Merle- as I stood on shaking knees. "Boss man wants to see you." He snatched the hat from my hands and roughly gripped my arm with the other, dragging me out of the room. Before we left, he opened the door to another room and threw the hat in. "There. Take that. It's all you're gonna see of her." I peered over to see Maggie and Glenn slumped against a metal wall.

"Maggie! Glenn!" I cried desperately.

"Annah!" Maggie suddenly shot up and began to run over, but before she could get to me, Merle slammed the door shut.

"Now that is sad." He shook his head, laughing to himself before dragging me out of the bunker. Night had fallen on the community of tall houses. People stared at me as we passed by, greeting Merle as though they were all old friends. "In here." He shoved me into the biggest building and slammed the door shut behind me, causing me to jump. I was in a large living room with a couple of cushioned chairs pushed together, The Governor sitting in one.

"Come here and sit next to me, kid." Though it was presented as a suggestion, I knew that if I didn't, he would threaten Maggie or Glenn. Disheartened, I made my way over to the other chair and sat down to face him. "I... apologize for earlier. I just didn't want any distractions for this conversation. I'm sure you can understand." I kept a fist clenched. "Now, before we go any further, I need to know your name, sweetheart." I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and answered.

"Annahbelle," I said curtly.

"Annahbelle... Now that is a pretty name." He shifted his gaze to one of the walls trapping us in. "I had a daughter before all of this started, Annahbelle. She was bit not long after it started, but... I still remember her. She was such a happy little girl. Ever since she left, it's like... there's been something missing in my life."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"I have a proposition for you, Annahbelle. If you agree to stay here with me, be a part of my family, I won't hurt your friends down there." I sucked in a deep breath. There was no way I could stay here, but I couldn't let my desire to go back to somewhere safe get Maggie and Glenn killed. I had to suck it up for now. I had to...

"Fine. But you have to promise that Maggie and Glenn will be safe and returned home."

"Now, sweetheart, I can't let them go. They know where our little Woodbury is, and we can't risk someone coming back here and trying to take our resources. A lot of people would kill to have what we have. But I can promise you they'll be safe. We'll feed them, and they'll be treated about as nicely as we can treat them." Something told me that still meant they would be pushed around and tortured like prisoners. He stood up from his chair and made his way to the door. "I'll be back soon to show you your room and get you some dinner. Just wait here until then." He stopped before he walked out and handed me my pole. "Here's this. In case you need it." As soon as he left, I shot up and grabbed the stationary I had spotted when I had first entered. Hastily, I scribbled down a note. Maybe if someone from the prison somehow found their way here, I could have them take it back there...

_Carl,_

_I know that I haven't come home since that run. I want to let you know that I'm safe, in this weird place called Woodbury. It's a long story, but I have to stay here in order to keep Maggie and Glenn from getting killed. If I don't ever come back, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive and okay, and I wanted to ask of you just a couple of things:_

_Keep you little sister safe, whatever her name ends up being, as well as all the others there at the prison. And please, don't be so quick to use your gun. I know it feels like you have to protect everyone, or that you'll be fine just because you have it, but if you do nothing else for me, let it be that you at least think before shooting. That's all I ask._

_-Annah_

I was going to give a more sentimental and heartfelt sign-off, but the door opened, causing me to jump and throw the pen. I shoved the letter into my back pocket and whipped around, expecting to see The Governor. But instead, a tall and muscly woman stood there with a hand on the handle of her weapon- most likely a Katana- looking at me in shock.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I won't hurt you."

"Who are you?" She looked me up and down a couple times as though trying to figure something out.

"You're her."

"What?" I completely forgot about my question.

"The girl. The one the boy at the prison was asking about." Hope swelled in my heart.

"Carl..." She must have somehow stumbled to the group at the prison. I pulled the note from my pocket and handed it to her. "I need you to give this to him." She blinked at me for a few seconds.

"You're coming with me." I shook my head.

"I... I can't. I'm sorry." I shoved the note into her hand. "Please, just give that to him." She finally took it from me and put it into her pocket, before pulling up a chair and sitting down. "What- what are you doing?"

"Waiting." I shrugged my shoulders and made my way to the couch to lie down. 

"I'll pretend I've been asleep. I have to keep myself inconspicuous." I shut my eyes and rolled over so that my face was away from where the woman was sitting. The silence made me feel slightly panicked, but I pushed it down to keep myself safe.

"He's worried about you," she suddenly told me. "His father says he's been anxious since you left." I tried not to smile as I replied.

"That note should assure him I'm okay. But if it doesn't, you can tell him you talked to me." There was gunfire and screaming from outside. That had to be Rick, and other people, obviously. They were here, rescuing Maggie and Glenn.

But that didn't mean I could leave yet.

A thud echoed against a door, diverting the woman's attention. She quickly stood up from her chair and inched her way to the source. As soon as she slammed open the door, there was a snarling sound, followed by the rattling of a chain. Curious, I stood and made my way over to where she was.

I nearly threw up at the sight: heads of those deceased and brought back to life snarled and chomped their jaws open and closed from inside glowing tanks.

"Oh, my God..." There was another thump from behind a cage, a foul stench radiating from inside. The woman quickly slid back the lock and opened the wire door. Light flooded into the darkened space, and the woman dropped to the ground as I groped for the wall.

"Oh, my God." Slowly, a tiny little girl in a pink sweater and red skirt with her face covered stumbled her way out. "It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you." She made her way closer to the woman. "Come on, come on. That's it. Come on." As soon as the girl was close enough, the woman released the girl from the chain and pulled the cloth from her head. We both jumped back as she let out a raspy growl.

The woman had just set free a chained up Walker. Thinking fast, she grabbed her sword from the ground and readied herself to kill its brain.

"No!" There was the click of a gun's hammer and we both froze. I slowly turned around to see The Governor standing there. "Don't hurt her." She narrowed her eyes into slits and he stuck his hands up. "Hey. Look." He gently set the shining gun back into its holster. "It's me you want. There's no need for her to suffer."

"She doesn't have needs."

"Please. Don't hurt my little girl." Horror set into me. He had told me his daughter was gone. I didn't think... 

This was so sick.

"Please don't." The woman growled lowly, then shoved her sword through the girls mouth, killing her brain. "No!" He shoved her against the wall and began punching her face.

"Stop it!" I screamed. The woman managed to throw The Governor to the ground, but he gained the upper hand and began to choke her. Luckily, they landed within range of her sword and managed to use it to throw him off of her. He slammed her head against the wall twice, then into one of the glass tanks, which she managed to grab and throw to the ground, shattering them. The Governor had her pinned to the ground until she managed to elbow him. Just as she was about to grab her sword, he threw himself onto her and tried to pin her down. The fight finally ended as she managed to pull a piece of glass loose and ran it through The Governor's eye. He cried out and she shot up, managing to take back her sword.

"You bitch! I'll kill you!" She grabbed onto my hand.

"Let's go."

"I can't!"

"I'm not giving you a choice." She was much stronger than I, so I knew there was no way I could escape her grip. We were about to run, when more footsteps approached. The woman whipped around.

"No!" I gasped at who stood there. She looked no different, but... I thought I was dead.

"Andrea..." She ignored me.

"What have you done?" Without answering, the woman held her sword out and inched us around the other side of her so that we could leave. She yanked me out and through a set of bushes and under a train car.

"Where the hell were you?" I threw my hands up as Rick aimed a gun at the woman. "Put your hands up. Turn around. Turn around." She did as told and Rick took the sword from her.

"Annah..." Glenn raced over and pulled me into a tight hug. I awkwardly wrapped my arms around him, trying to ignore the fact that he was bloody and wearing a large and unbuttoned shirt. As he pulled away, he placed Carl's hat on my head, then aimed his gun at the woman. Why were they doing this?

"Get what you came for?"

"Where are the rest of your people?"

"They got Oscar."

"Daryl is missing. You didn't see him?" She shook her head.

"If anything happens to him-"

"I brought you here to save him."

"Thanks for the help," Rick sassed.

"You'll need help to get them back to the prison or to go back in there for Daryl. Either way, you need me. Without a word, Rick turned away and knelt down to hug me, and Maggie followed.

"We're so glad you're safe," he muttered. But my mind was focused on the fact that we weren't all here.

"We need to go back and get Daryl." My voice was distant. There was sudden screaming and panic from inside, and a few moments later, Daryl and Merle emerged. Daryl smiled down at me and hugged me.

"I missed you, kiddo."

"We need to go," Rick interjected. I nodded and followed close behind.

"They're all at the arena," Merle informed us. "This way."

"You're not going anywhere with us," Rick grunted. 

"You really want to do this now?" The others caught up.

"Come on, man. We gotta go." We snuck through one of the broken panels of the outer wall to see Merle punching someone, whom I would hope was already dead, on the ground.

"A little help would be nice." We all shot at and beat the Walkers, but we needed to get out of here.

"We ain't got time for this. Let's go." We ran down the road and to the familiar, green car. The group squeezed in together, a couple of us sitting in the trunk, before Rick sped off and away from Woodbury.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right I warned you guys about language at the start of this book and here comes Merle so... yeah....

I leaned against the shining trunk of the car, finally releasing a baited gasp.

_Come on,_ I thought, _only a little bit further._

My mind kept slowly drifting back to the same thought: I should have stayed there. I know that Glenn and Maggie were safe- in fact, Glenn was right here with us- but we had just declared war on them. If I had stayed, I could convince the Governor not to retaliate. I could have kept everyone safe. Sure, nothing had happened yet, but it was inevitable that it would.

There were footsteps from the woods, causing the three of us to shoot up and run to their source.

"Rick. Rick. Rick." Glenn noticed Merle with the group of people and immediately aimed his gun at the crass man's head. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" The woman who had saved me earlier aimed her sword at Merle as well.

"Put it down," Rick ordered.

"He tried to kill me."

"If it wasn't for him-"

"He helped us get out of there."

"Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you."

"Hey, we both took our licks, man."

"Jackass."

"Enough!" I screamed. The woman put her sword back up, keeping Merle pressed against a tree.

"Hey, hey, relax!"

"Put that down!"

"Get that thing out of my face!" Everyone stopped arguing at the sound of Merle laughing.

"Man, looks like you've gone native, brother.'

"No more than you hanging out with that psycho back there."

"Oh, yeah, man. He is a charmer. I got to tell you that. Been putting the wood to your girlfriend Andrea." I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what that meant. "Big time, baby."

"Hey, there's a kid here," Rick barked.

"What? Andrea's in Woodbury?"

"Right next to the Governor." The woman lunched again.

"I told you to drop that! You know Andrea?" She remained silent. "Hey, do you know Andrea?"

"Yep, she does. Her and blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest. Mm-mmm-mmm. Yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet Walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains. Kind of ironic, now that I think about it." My eyes went wide. How could he say something like that so casually?

"Shut up, bro."

"Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying." 

"Is that why she's with him?"

"Yeah. Snug as two little bugs. So what are you gonna do now, Sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards."

"Shut up!"

"Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic. All these guns and no bullets in them."

"Merle, shut up!"

"Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you roll-" Rick suddenly hit him over the head with his silver pistol, knocking him to the ground.

"Asshole," Glenn muttered. We all congregated on the road to try and come up with a plan. The woman had decided to stay close to the car rather than participating in the discussion, but no one said anything. Daryl had presented that we should bring Merle back with us, but Rick was enthusiastically trying to shut it down.

"It will never work."

"It's gotta."

"It'll stir things up."

"Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle."

"I'm not having him at the prison."

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth, or Annah?"

"He ain't a rapist."

"Well, his buddy is."

"They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night."

"There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats."

"So you're gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?"

"She's not coming back."

"She's not in a state to be on her own."

"She did bring you guys to us."

"She saved my life."

"And then ditched us."

"At least let my dad stitch her up," Maggie begged.

"She's too unpredictable."

"That's right. We don't know who she is. But Merle, Merle's blood."

"No, Merle is _your_ blood. My blood, my family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

"And you're part of that family. But he's not. He's not."

"Man, y'all don't know." Daryl looked around at everyone's disapproving expressions. "Fine. We'll fend for ourselves."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"No him, no me."

"Daryl, you don't have to do that." I tried my best to get him to stay.

"It was always Merle and I before this."

"Don't."

"You serious? You're just gonna leave like that?"

"You'd do the same thing." We couldn't fight something like this with Daryl. Once he made up his mind, there was no changing it.

"What do you want us to tell Carol?"

"She'll understand." He nodded and pushed past all of us. "Say good-bye to your pop for me."

"Daryl, are you serious? Daryl!" Rick quickened his pace to catch up with him. 

"Hey. Hey. There's got to be another way."

"Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once." I couldn't hear what they were saying as they got further away. Sighing, I adjusted the hat on my head and tightened the strap for my pole.

"Hey, Annah, where'd that bracelet Carl gave you go?" Maggie asked, looking down at my wrist. I shook my head and turned away, choosing to instead watch Rick attempt to sway Daryl to stay.

"Oh..." Glenn came over and wrapped an arm around my tiny shoulders. "It's gonna be okay. I'm sure he'll just be glad that you're alive."

"I just... that thing helped comfort me when I was afraid. Now it's like I don't have anything." He crouched down and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you kidding me? You don't need some bracelet to be brave. Sure, it had some value coming from a friend, but you don't need that to be brave. You ran from your home, knowing well what the consequences would be if you got caught, but you never hesitated. You volunteer to go on runs while everyone else is still calculating the odds. And you're, like, what? Thirteen? Fourteen? To have those kinds of guts at your age is far beyond brave." I smiled and looked down at my boots. No one had ever said anything that nice to me in my life. 

"Thank you, Glenn..." He nodded at me, then stood back up. Maggie wrapped me into a hug and kept holding onto me as we turned to watch Daryl go with breaking hearts. Merle, however, was all too delighted about what was happening.

"Daryl!" He wrapped an arm around him. "Come on, bro." They looked back at us for a moment, and I waved at the younger Dixon brother with a disheartened smile on my face. I could have sworn he offered one back before Merle practically dragged him further into the woods, leading both of them far away. Angry and defeated, Rick began to throw our weapons in the trunk, a silent demand for us to get into the car so that we could leave. Before he got into the driver's side, he glared at the woman. 

"We patch you up and then you're gone," he growled. She rolled her eyes and slid in next to me, so I was sandwiched between Glenn and her. The ride had been silent for so long, until I finally decided to speak up.

"Thank you," I whispered quietly. The woman looked down at me with wide eyes. "Thank you for saving me. We have no idea what the Governor would have done following the attack. He could have used me as part of a trade, or worse..." I trailed off, shuddering at the thought. "Regardless, you saved my life, and I'm sorry you're being forced to leave as soon as you're better." I could have sworn a tiny smile crossed her lips for just a second, but it was gone so fast that I supposed I would never know. My body suddenly lurched forward as Rick brought the car to a halt, our path blocked by a red truck surrounded by wreckage.

"We have to deal with this before we can get back." We all climbed out to try and access the situation. "Get the brakes." Glenn opened the driver's side door, allowing a Walker to spring free. "I got it." Glenn stomped in its head over and over again until it was nothing but a bloody pulp. We all stared at him in disbelief as he looked up at Rick.

"You didn't kill him."

"That's not why we went back."

"No. That's right. You went back for Daryl. And now he's gone again and the Governor is still alive."

"Daryl was the priority."

"I should have been there with you."

"You were in no condition."

"But my girlfriend was?"

"Glenn, this is not about us," Maggie snapped.

"I should have been there."

"Hey, hey, you didn't come back with us 'cause you could barely walk."

"What about her?"

"What _about_ me?"

"Do you know what he did to her?"

"Leave it alone!"

"Do you know?"

"Let's go." I took deep breaths to keep myself from either bursting into tears or screaming at the top of my lungs. I couldn't tell which would happen, but either one would draw attention our way.

"After all that effort, all the risk we took, Daryl just takes off with Merle?"

"Well, he had his reasons."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Rick. Doesn't change the fact that we're up to our necks in shit."

"You want me to turn around, beg him to come back? Throw down a welcome mat for Merle? This is the hand we've been dealt!" Rick sighed deeply before continuing. "Let's just get this out of here and get back. Get some rest. We can talk it out there."

"No, you guys do all the talking you want. I'm done." He got into the driver's side and moved the truck out of the way. The car ride back was buzzing with the sounds of tension, and the amount of relief that washed over me as the prison came into view was so overwhelming that I began to cry. Carol yanked one gate open for us, while Carl dealt with the other. I watched from the window as Rick jumped out of the car and wrapped his son into a tight hug. I would deal with my hellos as soon as the car was back in its place. Silently, Glenn pulled the car into his spot and stormed out of it. Maggie took a moment to look at me before sliding out herself and rushing after Glenn, likely hoping to talk some sense into him. 

I was almost afraid to leave the car, as though stepping out would wake me up and I'd find myself back in that bunker. But as soon as my feet touched the gravel, I knew it was real, and the relief was so overwhelming that it caused me to lose my footing and I crashed down onto my knees, weeping.

"Annah!" I looked up through my tears to see Carl racing to me, causing me to cry harder. He helped me up and pulled me into a hug so tight and supportive that I never wanted to let go.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be." I slowly brought myself down from the hysterical high, which allowed the tears to stop.

"He broke the bracelet." He broke away from the hug, but kept an arm around my shoulders.

"That's okay. It was just a piece of metal." I sighed and placed his hat back on his head before we made our way back to the others. Maggie had gotten sidetracked by her father as Beth raced over to hug all of us.

"Go on." Carl kept a tight hold on me as he, Carol, and I made our way back inside. He only broke away for a moment to shut the cell block entrance before coming back over to me and hugging me.

"Can I ask you to never go on another run again without you getting mad at me?" I shook my head.

"I think I'll be taking a break from them for a while." Beth brought the baby over to Rick as he came in with Hershel in tow.

"She kind of has Lori's eyes, Don't you think?" He smiled at the crying baby as I kept pressing myself closer against Carl. I didn't care who it was, I never wanted anyone to let me go anywhere again. The woman had been led into Rick's cell to be healed by Hershel, a few others going to rest for a little while in their cells, but those of us left attempted to strategize. 

"So what now?"

"You think the Governor will retaliate?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Let him try."

"Sounds like he's got a whole town."

"We're outnumbered and outgunned. We could use some reinforcements." Rick looked around at all of us before leading us into the dining area outside of our cell block. Some people I had never seen before sat around at a table, remaining completely silent until we emerged.

"I'm Tyreese." One of them held out his hand for Rick to shake, but he simply stared at him. "Sasha, Allen, Ben."

"How'd you get in?"

"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Wall's down."

"That side's completely overrun by Walkers. How'd you get this far?"

"We didn't. We lost our friend Donna."

"They were lost in the gyms," Carl piped up.

"You brought them here?"

"He had no choice." Rick took a moment to look over all of us before nodding.

"I'm sorry about your friend. We know what that's like."

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands. We're no stranger to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that, too. Anything to contribute." 

"No." Rick just couldn't seem to let his guard down.

"Please. It's like '10 Little Indians' out there. It's just us now."

"No."

"Let's talk about this. We can't just keep-"

"We've been through this. With Tomas, Andrew. Look what happened."

"Axel and Oscar weren't like them," Carol offered.

"And where's Oscar now?" That silenced everyone. "I can't be responsible."

"You turn us out, you are responsible."

"Rick." Hershel pulled him aside and spoke quietly to him.

"You all took a chance on me," I muttered. "I don't understand how this is any different."

"You were malnourished, dehydrated, and began sobbing as soon as someone talked to you before passing out. Things are a little different in this case." I rolled my eyes.

"Why are you here?" Rick looked up at the walkway as though someone were there. "What do you want from me?"

"Dad?"

"Why are you- no." He suddenly seemed terrified, face pale as a freshly cleaned sheet. "I can't help you. Get out!" 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Rick had suddenly turned hostile toward the refugees.

"Get- Get out!" 

"Hey, come on. Whoa, it's all good."

"What are you doing?" Maggie stepped in to intervene.

"Hey, easy, Rick. There's no need to-"

"You don't belong here! Get out! Please!"

"Relax, brother. Relax."

"Get out! Get out!"

"We'll leave. We're going. Okay? Ain't nobody got to get shot here. We're going."

"What are you doing here?" Carl's hand wandered from my shoulder to grip my own trembling one. Rick was completely losing it, but why?

"Okay, we're going."

"Just go! Go! Go!"

"Come on, come on." The refugees scrambled away and out of the block as quickly as possible, breaking my heart. I had been in such a similar situation not too long ago, and I so desperately wanted to help them. But whatever demons were haunting Rick had taken control, and now they were cast out like they were nothing.

"I- I think I need to lie down for a while." I quickly rushed into Carl and my cell and threw off my shoes before laying down in my bunk and staring at the wall.

"Annah?" Carl sat down beside me.

"Do you think that's what he thinks of me as well?" I whispered. "Just some intruder that will get thrown out?" He reached down and hugged me.

"I promise I won't let him." I rolled over and curled up against him. "I'll protect you no matter what, even after this thing ends. I promise, Annahbelle."


	18. Chapter 18

The halls echoed with the whispers of the dead and turned away. Rick had gone off, chasing some sort of illusion he had been screaming at. People tried their best to act as though things were completely normal around here, but the haunting reality that our leader was losing his mind loomed over us. His harsh words to those seeking shelter rolled around in my mind as I sat on my bunk, legs and arms crossed close against me. Carl wandered in with his sister in his arms. She still didn't have a name, but Carl had teased he already had one in mind. Remaining silent at first, he sat down on my bed and placed the baby in my lap. I picked her up and bounced her, unable to contain my smile as one appeared on her face.

"Glenn needs me to help with securing the prison. I was... wondering if you feel up to helping me?" I nodded and shifted the baby in my arms as I stood, following the boy beyond the cells to find Glenn crouched on the ground, drawing a vague layout of the prison in white chalk.

"Right. Now you said you found Tyreese's group here?" He pointed to a box on the other side of the building.

"Yeah."

"We secured this," Glenn protested.

"He thought he came through here." Carl pointed to the box beside the one Glenn was pointing to.

"Means there's another breach," I muttered, connecting the dots. Glenn shook his head and rested against his palm for a moment, trying to formulate some sort of plan.

“Okay,” he sighed. “The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If Walkers just strolled in, then it’s gonna be cake for a group of armed men.”

“Why are we even so sure he’s gonna attack?” Beth asked.

“Maybe you scared him off,” Axel tried to reason. The baby started to fuss a bit in my arms, so I shifted her position on my chest to give her a new place to lay her head down.

“He had fish tanks full of heads.” Everyone turned to look up at the woman, who was leaning against the doorway. We had no idea how long she’d been here, but considering she had been in Woodbury, she would be helpful in knowing the Governor and his people.

“Walkers and humans,” I confirmed. “Trophies.”

“He’s coming.”

“We should hit him now,” Glenn suddenly suggested.

“What?”

“He won’t be expecting it. We’ll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head.”

“We’re not assassins,” Carol argued.

“You know where his apartment is.” Glenn stood up and faced the woman. “You and I could end this tonight.” She just sighed and looked away from his gaze. “I’ll do it myself.” At the mention of that proposition, she nodded. “Okay.”

“He didn’t know you were coming last time, and look what happened,” Hershel reminded us. You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. Annahbelle almost became a slave. And you and Maggie were almost executed.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Rick would never allow this.”

“You really think he’s in any position to make that choice?”

“Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori, too.” My grip tightened on the baby girl as Hershel reminded us of her mother. “The men that were here. It isn’t worth any more killing.” Glenn looked away with a tense jaw. “What are we waiting for? If he’s really on his way, we should be out of here right now.”

“And go where?”

“We lived on the road all winter.”

“Back when you had two legs and we didn’t have a baby crying for Walkers every four hours.”

Glenn made an excellent point. There was no way Hershel would be able to keep up if we had to run, and the baby would need to be constantly fed in order to be kept alive. That was something we couldn’t guarantee, and the loss of an infant life was something I knew none of us were willing to be responsible for.

“We can’t stay here.”

“We can’t run.” Our attentions were diverted as Maggie turned and walked out of the room, her face contorted as though she were on the brink of tears. Realizing what he had done, Glenn turned to face all of us before looking down and back up. “All right. We’ll stay put. We’re gonna defend this place. We’re making a stand.” He knelt back down to point to the drawing. “Carl, you, Annah, and I will go down to the tombs. We need to figure out where the breach is.”

“You got it.” I looked at Carl before nodding.

“You’ll need some help.” We all turned to look at the woman.

“No, in case anything happens, I need you out here.” He looked around again. “Who’s on watch?” No one responded. “Damn it.”

I stood myself and handed the baby to Beth before going with Carl to find some of the vests for protection. We pulled out the two smaller ones for ourselves, then a larger one for Glenn when he came back from trying to figure out the watch schedule. We remained silent for a few moments before I finally had the courage to speak up.

“I was going to stay.”

He looked at me with an eyebrow raised, confused.

“In Woodbury, with the Governor. I was going to stay, try and find out what I could about that place so that we knew as much as possible. But that woman, she got me out of there.”

“Annah-”

“And, you know, you really scare me sometimes. Thought maybe by staying there, I wouldn’t have to be a witness to whatever else you did.” I turned and started to walk out of the supplies room.

“What’s that mean?” I stopped and turned to face him, attempting to keep myself from getting emotional.

“It means that you are so quick to use that-” I pointed to his gun, “-even when you don’t need to.” Subconsciously, his hand drifted to the weapon, as though realizing its real power for the first time. “I just… don’t want to be around the day you make a mistake and kill someone innocent.” Before he could say anything to stop me, I turned on my heels and stormed out, leaving him with his jaw slightly agape.

As soon as Beth unlocked the door, Glenn shoved it open to allow us all back to safety. Because of the tension I had created, it had been hard for Carl and I to work together, and we suffered because of it. I had been overwhelmed by a large group of Walkers, and as a result, I was now drenched in their guts and coagulating blood.

“The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again,” Glenn informed everyone as Carl slammed the door shut again.

“That whole section had to be cleared. It’s a steady stream of Walkers,” I continued.

“We’re wasting time,” Hershel sighed. “The Governor is supposedly on the way and we’re stuck in here with Walkers.”

“Trapped between a rock and a hard place.”

“For the last time, running is not an option.”

“Glenn, if the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here.”

“Or until some fence gives way.”

“What if one of them herds is passing through?” Axel rarely spoke up, from what I could tell, but when he did, he usually had a point. “Or settled?”

“Can’t handle that with just a few of us.”

“Okay.” Glenn’s eyes moved back and forth, clearly trying to formulate a plan. “All right, we need- we need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what’s going on.”

“You’re going out there?”

“Take a car and make it quick.”

“I’ll drive.”

“No, you stay here. Help with the fortifications. I’ll take Maggie.” I shook my head. She clearly wasn’t ready for something like that, especially after what had happened the last time we went out. That one was just a run, and the fact that we were now going out, actively searching for the person that had captured us last time was something neither her, nor myself, were ready to face.

“You sure she’s up to that?” Glenn fell silent before leaving the room with a huff.

“He’s being irrational,” I grunted, removing my vest and slamming it down on the ground. “He’s expecting people to be able to do things they’re not ready for.” I ran a hand through my hair before leaving the room and heading to Carl and my cell. The cement wall became my focal point as I lost myself in thoughts.

This place was better than where I had been, but here was chaos. These people crumbled the moment chaos started to worm its way in, though I suppose I wasn’t that much different. We were going to fall apart the moment the Governor and the rest of Woodbury attacked if we couldn’t all put everything aside and work on defending ourselves. But at the same time, we needed to remember that we’ve all been through different things… suffered at different times, and that everyone reacted differently.

“Annah?” I looked over to see Carl standing in the doorway with his little sister, then turned away from him as he stepped in.

“Can’t exactly keep you out.” My laugh was filled with bitterness. “It’s your cell, too.” He bounced his sister a little bit in his arms.

“I’m sorry that I scare you,” he started to apologize. “I just want to protect everyone, you know? I feel like I need to do something.”

“But that something shouldn’t so quickly be pulling the trigger.”

“I know, I know, it’s an instinct at this point.” I turned to meet his eyes with a slightly angry expression.

“ _That’s_ your instinct?” He tried to open his mouth. “With Walkers, I could excuse it, but with people? Carl, if you’re just going to shoot them as soon as you see them…” I huffed and leaned forward. “You’re supposed to be my friend, and friends don’t scare each other.”

There was more silence, and I convinced myself that he was going to get up and leave. Instead, the mattress shifted, and he placed his sister’s head in my hands before reaching out to hug me. I stood still for a moment, completely unsure of what to do, before leaning over slightly, into the hug.

_I’d never be able to explain it._

I shifted the pole on my back as Beth placed a small handgun in her holster. Everyone was preparing for an attack, even though Glenn had gone out and found nothing.

“So, if the people from Woodbury do come, what are we supposed to do?” Carl asked. I huffed and crossed my arms, shaking my head as I looked down.

“Attack those who hurt us, try and spare those who surrender.” I looked out at the field in front of the prison, watching as Rick sort of aimlessly wandered across a bridge. “What’s the deal with your dad?”

“I don’t know. I tried to ask him about it last night, but he wouldn’t say anything.”

“It’s spooky,” I pointed out. “He’s following something that’s not there. It’s like someone’s calling him.”

“He’s really not taking Mom’s death well.” Carl’s voice faltered slightly as he said the word ‘Mom,’ so I reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. In doing so, I caught sight of Carol and Axel, who were smiling at each other.

“I like him.”

“Who, Axel?”

“Yeah, he seems really nice. And he’s really helped us out in setting up defenses.” I caught Carl’s wary glance and sighed. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t like him at least a little bit.”

“Well, yeah, he _is_ nice.” A proud smile crossed my face.

“Exactly! So he’s one of us now, just like I was.” Carl laughed and shook his head.

“You really like people, huh?” My smile relaxed into one that didn’t show teeth.

“I like to believe in them, yeah.” I looked back over at the two of them as Axel made some sort of joke, nudging Carol at the punchline, causing both of them to laugh. That happy smile came back to me, and-

_Bang!_

Blood splattered from Axel’s head onto Carol as we all ducked down. I gasped as his body collapsed, shot once in the head from afar. I was too afraid to stand, but I tried my best from my position to look around and find the gun that had just murdered Axel. Just off in the distance, I could just make out a white car, and a figure I wouldn’t have been able to identify lowered their gun.

I wouldn’t have been able to identify them, if it weren’t for the prominent, white bandage over his eye.

_The Governor…_

“Crap!”

The Governor’s men fired at Rick and Hershel, who both quickly dove for cover against the ground. As Carol took cover behind Axel’s bullet hole-filled body, Beth grabbed onto my hand, and I gripped Carl’s, and the three of us sprinted back toward the prison to get his little sister and warn the people inside. We couldn’t make it, however, and settled for hiding behind one of the sets of bleachers. Carl pulled out his gun and started to fire at the people who were shooting at us, but they were too far away for him to hit, so I grabbed his arm and lowered the gun violently.

“Your bullets can’t reach them! They’re too far away.” He nodded at me, and we tried to wait for a pause in the fire so that we could run back into the prison. But these guys were unrelenting, and we were forced to just stay where we were. I could feel my breath starting to shorten as a wave of anxiety washed over me, and I felt Carl reach out to take my hand.

“Come on, we can’t just stay here,” Beth urged. With a final deep breath, the three of us took off and managed to hit the wall of the prison because we were starting to get overwhelmed. Just like he had said, Carl instinctually pulled out his gun and started to fire again.

I looked around at everyone becoming overwhelmed, just as the gunfire seemed to slow. We’d been the victims of a sneak attack, but something told me that the Governor wasn’t going away until he was sure we were all gone.

Or until he and his men were all gone.

“Beth!” We looked back to see Maggie running at us with two guns. Beth ran over and took one while I ducked behind Carl, who went for the man that had managed to sneak into one of the guard towers.

“Carol, go!” Quickly, Carol shot up and dashed across the yard to a different form of cover, right beside Carl and I.

“These guys aren’t letting up? What are we supposed to do?”

Just then, there was the sound of an engine roaring in the distance, and, confused, people slowly stopped firing. Gazes were turned in the direction of the sound, and I watched in horror as a white and orange van barreled through the front gates, taking down our defenses. It parked itself on the front lawn, just before the gates right into the prison, and we watched as the door on the back of the truck fell down, allowing a large horde of Walkers to spill out. My eyes went wide.

_They’re trying to overwhelm us!_

The driver of the truck jumped out, but Rick managed to shoot them down before they could get to any one of us. But my eyes were trained on Hershel and Rick, who were stuck right in between the line of fire and the wrath of the bullets. As the two of them tried to fight their way back, the woman ran out into the field and tried her best to eliminate as many Walkers as possible.

There were too many of them, and there was no way that only the three of them would be able to get rid of all those Walkers.

“Carl, cover me.” He snapped his head around.

“What?”

“I’m going-”

Before I could finish my sentence, an arrow shot its way through one of the Walkers’ heads, and Daryl and Merle emerged from the woods. The three of them focused on killing and distracting the Walkers, which allowed Hershel to jump in the truck that Glenn was driving, and the two of them pulled onto the cement yard beyond the fence.

“You okay?”

“Yes.”

Hershel hopped out of the truck, and we all pressed ourselves against the fence, watching the three that were still trapped on the other side. Thankfully, they managed to kill all of the undead around them, but it had given the Governor and his men the chance to get away. There were still a large amount of them on the lot of grass in between, and there was no way that just three of them.

I had to do something.

“Guys, I’m going out there.” Everyone turned to look at me in surprise.

“Annah, you can’t-”

“Just open the fence and shut it quickly. I’m going to sprint across the yard and get them through.”

“Annahbelle, you can’t do that. You’ll get bit.” I tried to shake off the fear that was now replacing adrenaline.

“Stop it. Just let me through.” Shaking her head, Maggie stepped over to the latch and undid it.

“You ready?”

I nodded, and she opened the gate.


	19. Chapter 19

Everyone buzzed around in a calm sort of panic, some gathering up their belongings while others attempted to stop them. My eyes bounced to Carl and his sister as I slid my pole into its spot on my back, and once it was secured, I took her from him and started to bounce her up and down, keeping her from fussing as Carl secured his gun into his holster.

"We're not leaving," Rick protested as he shook one of the automatics, making sure it was ready to be fired. 

"We can't stay here."

Hershel remained adamant on his point we needed to leave now, before the Governor and the rest of the people from Woodbury got to us. But there were too many factors in the way that would result in a less-than-successful escape with multiples of lives lost. Either way, there was no situation where both groups won, and I'd come to accept that.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." Maggie made an excellent point.

"We can't even go outside," Beth added.

"Not in the daylight." 

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running." 

I knew how threatening the Governor was, but if we left this place behind, we'd be playing right into his hands. This was over land- the fact that he couldn't have this prison- and now, the price of blood was added. He was a relentless, cold-hearted man who would stop at nothing to drive us out of here.

"No, better to live like rats."

I angrily glared at Merle, hating the poison dripping from his smug smirk. One arm, the one without the blade, dangled out through the slots in the bars, appearing relaxed, despite the tragedy that would inevitably befall us.

"You got a better idea?" Rick challenged.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night, and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of that prick," Daryl threatened his brother, striding across the perch to get closer. 

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell."

The mysterious woman dragged a rag across the blade of her katana as she stared down Merle. 

"We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place... shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

I gently rubbed the baby's back at the thought of not being allowed to go on supply runs. Of course, everyone would fight to keep her alive the longest, but we could only keep that up for so long.

"Let's put him in the other cell block," Maggie scoffed. 

"No. He's got a point."

"You're actually agreeing with him?" I questioned, craning my neck to look up at Daryl.

"This is all you. You started this."

"What difference whose fault it is? What do we do?"

"I said we should leave," Hershel re-emphasized. "Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here."

Rick looked down at the old man with a confused look on his face, before he stalked in the other direction. Hershel nabbed his crutches and struggled to stand up and follow him.

"Get back here!"

Everything went still as Rick halted in his tracks. I inched a little closer to Carl, the shift in the air causing my stomach to churn and my body to shudder. He lingered his glance on me until Hershel spoke again.

"You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time." Hershel paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink in before continuing. "You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that." Rick now turned around to look at the old man, though not completely. "I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear, and do something."

The subject remained silent, staring down Hershel before storming away. His grip tightened on the automatic he'd intended to wield, and I jumped as the door slammed behind Carl's dad. Everyone awkwardly looked around, trying not to bring up the matter at hand and instead return back to what we were doing. I turned around and started to walk back to Carl and my cell, sitting down on the bed and turning his sister to face me. Her tongue darted in and out of her mouth, as though she were feeling around in the air for something, before her brown eyes opened up, and she cooed. A smile stretched onto my face as I looked down on her, watching her little hands stretch out slightly.

"Hey."

I looked up as Carl tapped on the bars twice with his fingers.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." 

I shook my head and leaned over the baby again, gurgling and babbling nonsense to her. She still had no name, but I knew Carl had managed to narrow his list down to just a couple of names. Hopefully he'd decide soon, otherwise, she'd never get one. Daryl liked to call her 'Little Ass-Kicker', but as cute as that was now, it couldn't stay her name for long. If the world ever went back to the way it was, she'd need one. 

I stood up again as the sound of crutches clicked closer. Hershel appeared in my doorway, and I stepped aside to make room for him.

"How's she doing?" he asked, taking a seat in that chair Carl and I had found one time in the second cell block.

How we'd managed to get it out of there with both of us alive, I still haven't a completely clear idea.

"She's fine," I answered. "Beth fed her a few hours ago, so she'll need to be fed again soon, but other than that, she seems completely content."

On cue, she let out a big yawn and tossed her head back and forth. I smiled and pulled her against my chest, allowing her to fall asleep. 

"She seems to have taken a liking to you."

I smirked up at Hershel, a funny sort of bend to my eyebrows.

"How can you tell?"

"She doesn't cry around you, or scream." The two of us laughed. "That whole family, they've taken well to you, Annahbelle." 

I chuckled again and looked toward the floor, before back up to the point where I was just barely meeting his eyes.

"They're different. This entire group is different. But a good sort of different. You all have your rough patches, but you solve them in the right ways."

Carl came back in, and took a seat on the bottom bunk. He acted as though Hershel and I weren't there, getting lost in his own world as he picked up one of the comics I'd found for him and laying down to read it. 

"For the most part."

I flicked my eyes back up at Hershel, sending some sort of signal. He nodded, understanding what I was trying to say, and stood up and left, but not before uttering one last sentence that would linger with me.

"Everyone solves their problems differently."

Rick finally came back, and I could just see out of our cell enough to watch and hear what happened as he relayed orders. 

"Take watch," he ordered into Maggie's cell. A few seconds later, she emerged. "Eyes open, head down. Field's filled with Walkers. Didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie on watch." Daryl descended from the perch.

"I'll get up in the guard tower, take out half them Walkers," Daryl offered, "give these guys a chance to fix the fence. Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place."

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets."

"So we're trapped in here. There's barely any food or ammo." Glenn always sounded angry these days, as though the chip on his shoulder refused to fall.

"Been here before. We'll be all right."

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest."

I drew back slightly. Glenn's description of Merle was poisonous. Sure, he wasn't the best guy, but something told we he wouldn't try and sell us out.

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it."

"Hey."

"All y'all."

Daryl went right back to his place above all of us, leaving the others to seethe and attempt to solve the problem on their own. 

"Seriously, Rick. I don't think Merle living here is gonna fly."

"I can't kick him out."

"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you."

Carl and I glanced at each other, eyes wide. Glenn bringing up Shane meant things were taking a _very_ bitter turn. Carefully, I stood up and moved closer to the doorway, readying myself to step in and break things up. But before I could, a hand placed itself on my arm, and I looked up to see Carl shake his head at me. 

"Merle has military experience," Hershel interjected. "He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother."

"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce."

"We're not sacrificing Merle."

With that, Rick went back to trying to pull everyone together to get out there for a supply run. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to go, considering what happened last time, and that bugged me. I wanted to be able to help, but that idea faded faster and faster every time someone looked at me. I was a reminder of the unrelenting cruelty of the Governor, and I knew Rick and the group weren't about to risk something happening to me again. 

If I couldn't do anything else, I should be able to help clear out the Walkers.

"Here."

I handed Carl his sister and stepped out of the cell, into the snap cold and mustiness. I spoke up and stuck out my hand just as Rick passed by.

"I want to help with the Walkers."

He stopped and turned to look at me, slightly crouching to make himself appear less threatening.

"Annahbelle, I need you to think about this." But I'd already made up my mind.

“I helped get you out of that field,” I egged. “I think I’m perfectly capable of handling myself out there.”

He set a hand on my shoulder.

“Some of the Governor’s men may still be out there. Are you sure you’re ready to deal with that?”

I paused. Death, in this world, was sort of something that always lingered in the back of our minds, but we never dwelled on it until we knew our time was coming to a close. And I wasn’t feeling that overwhelming sense of dread, so I figured I still had plenty more days to go.

“Yes.”

He glanced back at the others- specifically Hershel- before simply nodding his head.

“You and Carl stay up on the tower. We’ll give you a signal if we need you,” he ordered. I turned on my heel and took Carl’s sister from him to hand her off of to Beth. She smiled a bit before walking away, and I secured my hand on the pole banging against my back before turning to the boy next to me.

“You still have to name her,” I joked, nudging him.

“I didn't tell you? I did."

My eyes widened. How had I never heard it?" 

"What? What's her name?" I demanded. He smiled.

"Judith."

I remained crouched, one of my hands gripping the rusting wire of the fence. Carl sat with a pair of binoculars, keeping an eye of the number of Walkers shambling our way. We kept our focus on one in particular, getting a little too close to the gates of the prison for my liking.

“Psst.”

I jumped. Up until this point, Carl remained completely silent, doing his job with a deep amount of intensity. I wasn’t expecting a peep out of him.

“Something weird out there.”

I glanced at him before looking back out into the field. I didn’t really see anything unusual: Walkers always milled about in no particular pattern, sometimes wandering straight into something that ripped off their rotting flesh.

I extended my hand out and beckoned, implying I wanted the binoculars from him. He quickly handed them over and allowed me to get a closer look at what he saw. It took me a few seconds, but my heart soared as a blonde figure in a khaki shirt emerged from behind a Walker, her eyes trained to the ground. She, unlike the others in the field, was very much alive… and I knew exactly who she was. She used a Walker to get her through the field, likely as a diversionary tactic to get the others to leave her alone.

“Andrea,” I whispered to him. “Get your dad and the others.”

He jumped up and ran back through the door, shutting it as quietly as possible. I continued to watch through the binoculars as she walked along the path to the first gate. Each time she passed one of the undead, it simply glanced at her before moving on. At one point, one got a little too close to her actual body, so she quickly reached out, slashing its stomach and causing it to collapse to the ground. That wouldn’t kill it, but at least it couldn't bite her from where it was. 

Below, Rick, Daryl, Merle, the woman, and Beth dash out with their weapons readied, ducking against a car and hesitating as they watched the scene play out. Carl came back by my side and pointed the barrel of his gun through one of the holes in the chain link fence. Glenn and Carol emerged on the overlooking bridge, guns ready to help our lost member into our new home.

"Clear!"

On Merle's word, the group down below rushed to the fence to greet her. She continued to make her way toward the gate, choosing not to stop.

"Are you alone?" Rick shouted.

"Open the gate," she reponded, not answering his question.

" _Are you alone?_ " he screamed, louder this time.

"Rick!"

The large group of Walkers was getting closer to her, and if Rick didn't open the gate soon, she'd be devoured right in front of our eyes. How Rick could live with that sort of thing on his conscience, I had no idea. 

The woman slowly lowered her gun as Rick tossed Daryl the keys. He yanked the gate open, and right before Andrea ran through to safety, she discarded of the Walker keeping her from suspicion. As quickly as they were opened, the gates slammed shut. Immediately, Rick began to shout at and pester her.

"Hands up!" he ordered. "Turn around." Andrea took several steps back in alarm. "Turn around, now!"

She slammed herself against the fence and allowed Rick to pat her down, to make sure she wasn't going to try and kill us. As he searched her, a Walker came too close to the fence, and he quickly threw Andrea away.

"Get down on the floor!" She slammed against the cement and put her hands up in surrender as Rick continued to search her.

"Carl..." I whispered, unable to tear my eyes from the scene. I knew Rick was still unstable, but this... this was horrific. He'd no trust in Andrea, despite the fact that she'd been one of us, separated when chaos descended upon us.

"Come on." 

The two of us stood up, and I followed him down the stairs and toward the scene. The woman who rescued me seemed to know Andrea. They'd been in Woodbury together, so it wasn't much of a surprise, but the two of them seeming happy to see each other indicated a deeper connection. Something of a friendship, if I wasn't mistaken.

"Welcome back." Rick yanked her back up and dragged her behind him into the prison. Following a quick glance, Carl and I kept a close follow behind.

"Your dad's scaring me," I whispered, leaning over slightly in hopes that I could prevent Rick from hearing what I said.

"He's just... going through something," he tried to defend.

"Yeah, I figured that out."

Everyone started to gather in the common room, staring at Andrea as we walked her in. Carol halted in her movement, waiting for Andrea to come closer before pulling her into an embrace. 

"I'll be right back." I tapped him on the arm and started to walk away, but he stopped me from being able to go anywhere.

"Judith will be fine." 

I sighed. He knew I watched her like a hawk, scared that, at any moment we wouldn't have her anymore.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead," Carol whispered, holding onto Andrea as though she'd never get the chance again. Andrea's eyes moved up to Hershel, different from the time she'd last seen him, and slowly, she let go of the woman and started to approach him.

"Hershel, my God."

That's when she started to look around, and realized our numbers dwindled from the last time she'd been with us.

"I can't believe this. Where's Shane?" Rick shook his head, looking away from her eye line. "And Lori?"

"She had a girl. Lori didn't survive," Hershel answered for him. "Neither did T-Dog."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Carl." He didn't say a word as she looked at him. "And New Girl."

"Annahbelle," I corrected, nodding. She smiled at my words, almost seeming impressed I actually had a voice.

"Rick I-" He refused to look at her. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block." She looked around in shock, before pointing like a child toward where our bunks were. 

"There?" Glenn nodded. "Well, can I go in?"

"I won't allow that."

"I'm not an enemy, Rick."

"We had that field and courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

"He said you fired first."

And there came the first of many revelations to Andrea about who the Governor really was.

"Well, he's lying."

"He killed an inmate who survived in here."

"We liked him. He was one of us."

"I didn't know anything about that." Her perfect image of Woodbury started to crumble right in front of her. "As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago."

"I told you, I came as soon as I could," she attempted to defend. The woman leaned against a set of chain-link, and once she noticed everyone looking beyond her, she turned around. "What have you told them?"

"Nothing."

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

I didn't want to say anything, but her feelings were perfectly valid. She didn't try to come find us until now.

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us."

_Michonne..._ The woman's name was Michonne.

"With his finger on the trigger," she pointed accusingly at Merle. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" She managed to talk herself down and take a deep breath, then took a new approach. "Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out."

"There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

I shuddered. There was a difference between living behind these walls, and those.

Merle chuckled. "You know better than that."

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?"

"No." 

"Then why did you come here?" Rick pressed.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what. Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye," Daryl threatened. 

"We've taken too much shit for too long. He wants a war? He's got one."

"Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen," Andrea warned. "He has a whole town. Look at you." She turned a semi-circle to address all of us now. "You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You want to make this right, get us inside," Rick growled, circling around Andrea to face her.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about." Rick began to storm away

"There are innocent people."

Hope fluttered to the ground and died as Rick left our sights, and we heard the door to the cell block open and slam shut again. Andrea looked around, lost, and I took a glance around at all the faces. Some looked angry, glaring straight at Andrea as though she'd committed a crime, while others remained trained to the ground. No one said a word, that was, until Michonne decided to be the bigger person and take Andrea out for a walk. Everyone took that as their cue to disperse, and without a word, I rushed toward Judith, finding Beth leaning over her with a smile.

"She just woke up," she informed me.

The baby fussed for a few seconds before breaking out into a wail, and I quickly reached down to take her into my arms. She still fussed and flailed, but the screaming started to die down. A smile spread onto my face, and I climbed the stairs up to the perch, back and forth until she calmed. Carol stood near me, watching as I calmed Carl's little sister. Andrea then came back in, and started to make her way up toward me. I made eye contact with her, and for once, realized how welcoming and warm her face could be.

"You can't leave without meeting Little Ass-Kicker."

"May I hold her?" I glanced down at her before extending my arms out.

"Of course." I gingerly passed her off to Andrea, who looked down on her as though she held the world in her tiny hands.

"Oh. Oh, look at you." She rocked her back and forth, slowly. "Let me guess. Daryl named her 'Ass-Kicker'." I laughed.

"That's not really her name. Judith." The word felt so foreign on my tongue. Carl never told me he'd come up with one, it was almost strange to think she had a title now.

"Judith. Hi, Judith. Oh, how precious are you?"

I found myself sighing. It disappointed me that Rick couldn't see past the errors of before and allow Andrea to help us try and build a future... for his own daughter.

"What happened to Lori?"

I sucked in a breath and clenched one of my fists into a ball as I recalled the painful memory.

"During a C-Section. Maggie." I exhaled shakily. "Carl had to-"

"Oh, my God."

"T-Dog died leading Carol to safety."

"And Shane?"

I looked back up at her. She'd been on the farm when it happened, yet she remained completely clueless. 

"Rick killed him." Andrea's expression shifted to one of horror. "The night we left the farm. That whole Randall thing was a lie. Shane tried to kill Rick."

"Shane loved Rick," she argued, swimming in disbelief. But I knew better.

"Shane loved Lori." Andrea shook her head.

"Rick's become cold. Unsteady."

"He has his reasons." I tried my best to keep myself from bursting into tears. The same could be said for Carl, the things that he did. Both of them... they scared me in a way I had a hard time bringing to words. "The Governor, you need to do something."

I stepped forward, and Andrea set Judith back into my hands.

"I am."

"No, you need to sleep with him."

I turned around to see Carol getting closer to the both of us, until she was right in Andrea's face.

"Give him the greatest night of his life. You get him to drop his guard. Then when he's sleeping, you can end this."

I wasn't quite sure what Carol was talking about, but whatever it was, it seemed to horrify Andrea. Her mouth opened and closed, forming different starts of words, before turning and running down the steps again. The door to the common room shut, and I knew she wanted to leave now. I shook my head and turned back to calming Judith down.

We'd all gone to minding our own business that night, not wanting to speak of what happened here earlier. Beth, Glenn, and Carol sat beside a lamp, seeming to pretend it were some sort of campfire, while I draped my blanket around my shoulders and sat on the floor just in front of the bars to my cell. Tension in the air separated all of us, keeping anyone from even glancing the way of another. Carl preferred to stay back in the cell, re-reading a comic for probably the hundredth time. 

" _They hung a sign up in our town."_

Everyone looked over at Beth as she began to sing. 

_"If you live it up, you won't live it down. So she left Monte Rio, son. Just like a bullet leaves a gun. With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips she went and took the California trip. Well, the moon was gold and her hair like wind. Said don't look back now, just come on, Jim."_

I looked over and smiled as Carl emerged and sat beside me, keeping his eyes on mine for a while before the two of us watched the light in the lamp dance. Carefully, I draped half the blanket around his shoulders, and leaned against the one closest to me. 

" _You got to hold on. Hold on. You got to hold on. Take my hand, I'm standing right here. You got to hold on. Well, he gave her a dime-store watch and a ring made from a spoon. Everyone's looking for someone to blame. If you share my bed, you share my name..."_

"Some reunion, huh?" Daryl questioned Rick, each of them standing on a side of Hershel.

"She's in a jam."

"We all are. Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction. So what do you want to do?"

"We match it," Rick answered immediately.

"I'm going on a run. I'll head out tomorrow."

"No, you stay here. Keep an eye on your brother. I'm glad you're back, really, but if he causes a problem, it's on you."

"I got him."

"I'll take Michonne." 

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"I'll find out. And Carl, and Annahbelle. They're ready. You hold it down here."

My heart fluttered in my chest. I was finally getting to go on another run again.

"You got it."

_"When there's nothing left to keep you here, when you're falling behind in this big, blue world, you got to hold on. Hold on. Got to hold on. Take my hand, I'm standing right here. Got to hold on..."_


	20. Chapter 20

Everyone buzzed around in a calm sort of panic, some gathering up their belongings while others attempted to stop them. My eyes bounced to Carl and his sister as I slid my pole into its spot on my back, and once it was secured, I took her from him and started to bounce her up and down, keeping her from fussing as Carl secured his gun into his holster.

"We're not leaving," Rick protested as he shook one of the automatics, making sure it was ready to be fired. 

"We can't stay here."

Hershel remained adamant on his point we needed to leave now, before the Governor and the rest of the people from Woodbury got to us. But there were too many factors in the way that would result in a less-than-successful escape with multiples of lives lost. Either way, there was no situation where both groups won, and I'd come to accept that.

"What if there's another sniper? A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds." Maggie made an excellent point.

"We can't even go outside," Beth added.

"Not in the daylight." 

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running." 

I knew how threatening the Governor was, but if we left this place behind, we'd be playing right into his hands. This was over land- the fact that he couldn't have this prison- and now, the price of blood was added. He was a relentless, cold-hearted man who would stop at nothing to drive us out of here.

"No, better to live like rats."

I angrily glared at Merle, hating the poison dripping from his smug smirk. One arm, the one without the blade, dangled out through the slots in the bars, appearing relaxed, despite the tragedy that would inevitably befall us.

"You got a better idea?" Rick challenged.

"Yeah, we should have slid out of here last night, and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of that prick," Daryl threatened his brother, striding across the perch to get closer. 

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell."

The mysterious woman dragged a rag across the blade of her katana as she stared down Merle. 

"We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place... shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to."

I gently rubbed the baby's back at the thought of not being allowed to go on supply runs. Of course, everyone would fight to keep her alive the longest, but we could only keep that up for so long.

"Let's put him in the other cell block," Maggie scoffed. 

"No. He's got a point."

"You're actually agreeing with him?" I questioned, craning my neck to look up at Daryl.

"This is all you. You started this."

"What difference whose fault it is? What do we do?"

"I said we should leave," Hershel re-emphasized. "Now Axel's dead. We can't just sit here."

Rick looked down at the old man with a confused look on his face, before he stalked in the other direction. Hershel nabbed his crutches and struggled to stand up and follow him.

"Get back here!"

Everything went still as Rick halted in his tracks. I inched a little closer to Carl, the shift in the air causing my stomach to churn and my body to shudder. He lingered his glance on me until Hershel spoke again.

"You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time." Hershel paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink in before continuing. "You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that." Rick now turned around to look at the old man, though not completely. "I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear, and do something."

The subject remained silent, staring down Hershel before storming away. His grip tightened on the automatic he'd intended to wield, and I jumped as the door slammed behind Carl's dad. Everyone awkwardly looked around, trying not to bring up the matter at hand and instead return back to what we were doing. I turned around and started to walk back to Carl and my cell, sitting down on the bed and turning his sister to face me. Her tongue darted in and out of her mouth, as though she were feeling around in the air for something, before her brown eyes opened up, and she cooed. A smile stretched onto my face as I looked down on her, watching her little hands stretch out slightly.

"Hey."

I looked up as Carl tapped on the bars twice with his fingers.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." 

I shook my head and leaned over the baby again, gurgling and babbling nonsense to her. She still had no name, but I knew Carl had managed to narrow his list down to just a couple of names. Hopefully he'd decide soon, otherwise, she'd never get one. Daryl liked to call her 'Little Ass-Kicker', but as cute as that was now, it couldn't stay her name for long. If the world ever went back to the way it was, she'd need one. 

I stood up again as the sound of crutches clicked closer. Hershel appeared in my doorway, and I stepped aside to make room for him.

"How's she doing?" he asked, taking a seat in that chair Carl and I had found one time in the second cell block.

How we'd managed to get it out of there with both of us alive, I still haven't a completely clear idea.

"She's fine," I answered. "Beth fed her a few hours ago, so she'll need to be fed again soon, but other than that, she seems completely content."

On cue, she let out a big yawn and tossed her head back and forth. I smiled and pulled her against my chest, allowing her to fall asleep. 

"She seems to have taken a liking to you."

I smirked up at Hershel, a funny sort of bend to my eyebrows.

"How can you tell?"

"She doesn't cry around you, or scream." The two of us laughed. "That whole family, they've taken well to you, Annahbelle." 

I chuckled again and looked toward the floor, before back up to the point where I was just barely meeting his eyes.

"They're different. This entire group is different. But a good sort of different. You all have your rough patches, but you solve them in the right ways."

Carl came back in, and took a seat on the bottom bunk. He acted as though Hershel and I weren't there, getting lost in his own world as he picked up one of the comics I'd found for him and laying down to read it. 

"For the most part."

I flicked my eyes back up at Hershel, sending some sort of signal. He nodded, understanding what I was trying to say, and stood up and left, but not before uttering one last sentence that would linger with me.

"Everyone solves their problems differently."

Rick finally came back, and I could just see out of our cell enough to watch and hear what happened as he relayed orders. 

"Take watch," he ordered into Maggie's cell. A few seconds later, she emerged. "Eyes open, head down. Field's filled with Walkers. Didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep Maggie on watch." Daryl descended from the perch.

"I'll get up in the guard tower, take out half them Walkers," Daryl offered, "give these guys a chance to fix the fence. Or use some of the cars to put the bus in place."

"We can't access the field without burning through our bullets."

"So we're trapped in here. There's barely any food or ammo." Glenn always sounded angry these days, as though the chip on his shoulder refused to fall.

"Been here before. We'll be all right."

"That's when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest."

I drew back slightly. Glenn's description of Merle was poisonous. Sure, he wasn't the best guy, but something told we he wouldn't try and sell us out.

"Man, we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it."

"Hey."

"All y'all."

Daryl went right back to his place above all of us, leaving the others to seethe and attempt to solve the problem on their own. 

"Seriously, Rick. I don't think Merle living here is gonna fly."

"I can't kick him out."

"I wouldn't ask you to live with Shane after he tried to kill you."

Carl and I glanced at each other, eyes wide. Glenn bringing up Shane meant things were taking a _very_ bitter turn. Carefully, I stood up and moved closer to the doorway, readying myself to step in and break things up. But before I could, a hand placed itself on my arm, and I looked up to see Carl shake his head at me. 

"Merle has military experience," Hershel interjected. "He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother."

"What if we solve both problems at once? Deliver Merle to the Governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce."

"We're not sacrificing Merle."

With that, Rick went back to trying to pull everyone together to get out there for a supply run. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to go, considering what happened last time, and that bugged me. I wanted to be able to help, but that idea faded faster and faster every time someone looked at me. I was a reminder of the unrelenting cruelty of the Governor, and I knew Rick and the group weren't about to risk something happening to me again. 

If I couldn't do anything else, I should be able to help clear out the Walkers.

"Here."

I handed Carl his sister and stepped out of the cell, into the snap cold and mustiness. I spoke up and stuck out my hand just as Rick passed by.

"I want to help with the Walkers."

He stopped and turned to look at me, slightly crouching to make himself appear less threatening.

"Annahbelle, I need you to think about this." But I'd already made up my mind.

“I helped get you out of that field,” I egged. “I think I’m perfectly capable of handling myself out there.”

He set a hand on my shoulder.

“Some of the Governor’s men may still be out there. Are you sure you’re ready to deal with that?”

I paused. Death, in this world, was sort of something that always lingered in the back of our minds, but we never dwelled on it until we knew our time was coming to a close. And I wasn’t feeling that overwhelming sense of dread, so I figured I still had plenty more days to go.

“Yes.”

He glanced back at the others- specifically Hershel- before simply nodding his head.

“You and Carl stay up on the tower. We’ll give you a signal if we need you,” he ordered. I turned on my heel and took Carl’s sister from him to hand her off of to Beth. She smiled a bit before walking away, and I secured my hand on the pole banging against my back before turning to the boy next to me.

“You still have to name her,” I joked, nudging him.

“I didn't tell you? I did."

My eyes widened. How had I never heard it?" 

"What? What's her name?" I demanded. He smiled.

"Judith."

I remained crouched, one of my hands gripping the rusting wire of the fence. Carl sat with a pair of binoculars, keeping an eye of the number of Walkers shambling our way. We kept our focus on one in particular, getting a little too close to the gates of the prison for my liking.

“Psst.”

I jumped. Up until this point, Carl remained completely silent, doing his job with a deep amount of intensity. I wasn’t expecting a peep out of him.

“Something weird out there.”

I glanced at him before looking back out into the field. I didn’t really see anything unusual: Walkers always milled about in no particular pattern, sometimes wandering straight into something that ripped off their rotting flesh.

I extended my hand out and beckoned, implying I wanted the binoculars from him. He quickly handed them over and allowed me to get a closer look at what he saw. It took me a few seconds, but my heart soared as a blonde figure in a khaki shirt emerged from behind a Walker, her eyes trained to the ground. She, unlike the others in the field, was very much alive… and I knew exactly who she was. She used a Walker to get her through the field, likely as a diversionary tactic to get the others to leave her alone.

“Andrea,” I whispered to him. “Get your dad and the others.”

He jumped up and ran back through the door, shutting it as quietly as possible. I continued to watch through the binoculars as she walked along the path to the first gate. Each time she passed one of the undead, it simply glanced at her before moving on. At one point, one got a little too close to her actual body, so she quickly reached out, slashing its stomach and causing it to collapse to the ground. That wouldn’t kill it, but at least it couldn't bite her from where it was. 

Below, Rick, Daryl, Merle, the woman, and Beth dash out with their weapons readied, ducking against a car and hesitating as they watched the scene play out. Carl came back by my side and pointed the barrel of his gun through one of the holes in the chain link fence. Glenn and Carol emerged on the overlooking bridge, guns ready to help our lost member into our new home.

"Clear!"

On Merle's word, the group down below rushed to the fence to greet her. She continued to make her way toward the gate, choosing not to stop.

"Are you alone?" Rick shouted.

"Open the gate," she reponded, not answering his question.

" _Are you alone?_ " he screamed, louder this time.

"Rick!"

The large group of Walkers was getting closer to her, and if Rick didn't open the gate soon, she'd be devoured right in front of our eyes. How Rick could live with that sort of thing on his conscience, I had no idea. 

The woman slowly lowered her gun as Rick tossed Daryl the keys. He yanked the gate open, and right before Andrea ran through to safety, she discarded of the Walker keeping her from suspicion. As quickly as they were opened, the gates slammed shut. Immediately, Rick began to shout at and pester her.

"Hands up!" he ordered. "Turn around." Andrea took several steps back in alarm. "Turn around, now!"

She slammed herself against the fence and allowed Rick to pat her down, to make sure she wasn't going to try and kill us. As he searched her, a Walker came too close to the fence, and he quickly threw Andrea away.

"Get down on the floor!" She slammed against the cement and put her hands up in surrender as Rick continued to search her.

"Carl..." I whispered, unable to tear my eyes from the scene. I knew Rick was still unstable, but this... this was horrific. He'd no trust in Andrea, despite the fact that she'd been one of us, separated when chaos descended upon us.

"Come on." 

The two of us stood up, and I followed him down the stairs and toward the scene. The woman who rescued me seemed to know Andrea. They'd been in Woodbury together, so it wasn't much of a surprise, but the two of them seeming happy to see each other indicated a deeper connection. Something of a friendship, if I wasn't mistaken.

"Welcome back." Rick yanked her back up and dragged her behind him into the prison. Following a quick glance, Carl and I kept a close follow behind.

"Your dad's scaring me," I whispered, leaning over slightly in hopes that I could prevent Rick from hearing what I said.

"He's just... going through something," he tried to defend.

"Yeah, I figured that out."

Everyone started to gather in the common room, staring at Andrea as we walked her in. Carol halted in her movement, waiting for Andrea to come closer before pulling her into an embrace. 

"I'll be right back." I tapped him on the arm and started to walk away, but he stopped me from being able to go anywhere.

"Judith will be fine." 

I sighed. He knew I watched her like a hawk, scared that, at any moment we wouldn't have her anymore.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead," Carol whispered, holding onto Andrea as though she'd never get the chance again. Andrea's eyes moved up to Hershel, different from the time she'd last seen him, and slowly, she let go of the woman and started to approach him.

"Hershel, my God."

That's when she started to look around, and realized our numbers dwindled from the last time she'd been with us.

"I can't believe this. Where's Shane?" Rick shook his head, looking away from her eye line. "And Lori?"

"She had a girl. Lori didn't survive," Hershel answered for him. "Neither did T-Dog."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Carl." He didn't say a word as she looked at him. "And New Girl."

"Annahbelle," I corrected, nodding. She smiled at my words, almost seeming impressed I actually had a voice.

"Rick I-" He refused to look at her. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block." She looked around in shock, before pointing like a child toward where our bunks were. 

"There?" Glenn nodded. "Well, can I go in?"

"I won't allow that."

"I'm not an enemy, Rick."

"We had that field and courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

"He said you fired first."

And there came the first of many revelations to Andrea about who the Governor really was.

"Well, he's lying."

"He killed an inmate who survived in here."

"We liked him. He was one of us."

"I didn't know anything about that." Her perfect image of Woodbury started to crumble right in front of her. "As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago."

"I told you, I came as soon as I could," she attempted to defend. The woman leaned against a set of chain-link, and once she noticed everyone looking beyond her, she turned around. "What have you told them?"

"Nothing."

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

I didn't want to say anything, but her feelings were perfectly valid. She didn't try to come find us until now.

"He almost killed Michonne and he would have killed us."

_Michonne..._ The woman's name was Michonne.

"With his finger on the trigger," she pointed accusingly at Merle. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?" She managed to talk herself down and take a deep breath, then took a new approach. "Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out."

"There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

I shuddered. There was a difference between living behind these walls, and those.

Merle chuckled. "You know better than that."

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?"

"No." 

"Then why did you come here?" Rick pressed.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what. Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye," Daryl threatened. 

"We've taken too much shit for too long. He wants a war? He's got one."

"Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen," Andrea warned. "He has a whole town. Look at you." She turned a semi-circle to address all of us now. "You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You want to make this right, get us inside," Rick growled, circling around Andrea to face her.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about." Rick began to storm away

"There are innocent people."

Hope fluttered to the ground and died as Rick left our sights, and we heard the door to the cell block open and slam shut again. Andrea looked around, lost, and I took a glance around at all the faces. Some looked angry, glaring straight at Andrea as though she'd committed a crime, while others remained trained to the ground. No one said a word, that was, until Michonne decided to be the bigger person and take Andrea out for a walk. Everyone took that as their cue to disperse, and without a word, I rushed toward Judith, finding Beth leaning over her with a smile.

"She just woke up," she informed me.

The baby fussed for a few seconds before breaking out into a wail, and I quickly reached down to take her into my arms. She still fussed and flailed, but the screaming started to die down. A smile spread onto my face, and I climbed the stairs up to the perch, back and forth until she calmed. Carol stood near me, watching as I calmed Carl's little sister. Andrea then came back in, and started to make her way up toward me. I made eye contact with her, and for once, realized how welcoming and warm her face could be.

"You can't leave without meeting Little Ass-Kicker."

"May I hold her?" I glanced down at her before extending my arms out.

"Of course." I gingerly passed her off to Andrea, who looked down on her as though she held the world in her tiny hands.

"Oh. Oh, look at you." She rocked her back and forth, slowly. "Let me guess. Daryl named her 'Ass-Kicker'." I laughed.

"That's not really her name. Judith." The word felt so foreign on my tongue. Carl never told me he'd come up with one, it was almost strange to think she had a title now.

"Judith. Hi, Judith. Oh, how precious are you?"

I found myself sighing. It disappointed me that Rick couldn't see past the errors of before and allow Andrea to help us try and build a future... for his own daughter.

"What happened to Lori?"

I sucked in a breath and clenched one of my fists into a ball as I recalled the painful memory.

"During a C-Section. Maggie." I exhaled shakily. "Carl had to-"

"Oh, my God."

"T-Dog died leading Carol to safety."

"And Shane?"

I looked back up at her. She'd been on the farm when it happened, yet she remained completely clueless. 

"Rick killed him." Andrea's expression shifted to one of horror. "The night we left the farm. That whole Randall thing was a lie. Shane tried to kill Rick."

"Shane loved Rick," she argued, swimming in disbelief. But I knew better.

"Shane loved Lori." Andrea shook her head.

"Rick's become cold. Unsteady."

"He has his reasons." I tried my best to keep myself from bursting into tears. The same could be said for Carl, the things that he did. Both of them... they scared me in a way I had a hard time bringing to words. "The Governor, you need to do something."

I stepped forward, and Andrea set Judith back into my hands.

"I am."

"No, you need to sleep with him."

I turned around to see Carol getting closer to the both of us, until she was right in Andrea's face.

"Give him the greatest night of his life. You get him to drop his guard. Then when he's sleeping, you can end this."

I wasn't quite sure what Carol was talking about, but whatever it was, it seemed to horrify Andrea. Her mouth opened and closed, forming different starts of words, before turning and running down the steps again. The door to the common room shut, and I knew she wanted to leave now. I shook my head and turned back to calming Judith down.

We'd all gone to minding our own business that night, not wanting to speak of what happened here earlier. Beth, Glenn, and Carol sat beside a lamp, seeming to pretend it were some sort of campfire, while I draped my blanket around my shoulders and sat on the floor just in front of the bars to my cell. Tension in the air separated all of us, keeping anyone from even glancing the way of another. Carl preferred to stay back in the cell, re-reading a comic for probably the hundredth time. 

" _They hung a sign up in our town."_

Everyone looked over at Beth as she began to sing. 

_"If you live it up, you won't live it down. So she left Monte Rio, son. Just like a bullet leaves a gun. With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips she went and took the California trip. Well, the moon was gold and her hair like wind. Said don't look back now, just come on, Jim."_

I looked over and smiled as Carl emerged and sat beside me, keeping his eyes on mine for a while before the two of us watched the light in the lamp dance. Carefully, I draped half the blanket around his shoulders, and leaned against the one closest to me. 

" _You got to hold on. Hold on. You got to hold on. Take my hand, I'm standing right here. You got to hold on. Well, he gave her a dime-store watch and a ring made from a spoon. Everyone's looking for someone to blame. If you share my bed, you share my name..."_

"Some reunion, huh?" Daryl questioned Rick, each of them standing on a side of Hershel.

"She's in a jam."

"We all are. Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction. So what do you want to do?"

"We match it," Rick answered immediately.

"I'm going on a run. I'll head out tomorrow."

"No, you stay here. Keep an eye on your brother. I'm glad you're back, really, but if he causes a problem, it's on you."

"I got him."

"I'll take Michonne." 

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"I'll find out. And Carl, and Annahbelle. They're ready. You hold it down here."

My heart fluttered in my chest. I was finally getting to go on another run again.

"You got it."

_"When there's nothing left to keep you here, when you're falling behind in this big, blue world, you got to hold on. Hold on. Got to hold on. Take my hand, I'm standing right here. Got to hold on..."_


	21. Chapter 21

Rick paced the room, reading all the ramblings on the wall as I sat on the wooden floor, tapping my fingers against it. I didn't want to voice my concern, but I'm sure Rick could tell from my body language. Carl and Michonne had been gone quite a while for just going around the corner and getting a crib. Even if they went straight to the car to load it, they should have been back by now. Had they gotten overwhelmed before one of them could call out for help? What happened to them?

"They've been gone too long," I muttered, shifting to crouch. "I feel like I should go check on them."

"He's with Michonne. She can keep him safe." Rick hesitated for a moment, then turned to me. "Why didn't you go with him?" I raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You just... you always seem to want to go where Carl goes-- you're a good friend to him. I just thought you'd want to go with him." I shrugged, looking back at the floor as I shifted to sit again and began to pick at my hangnails.

"Just figured I should stay here." I knew Rick could tell I was lying, but I didn't care to say more, so he let it go. Rick finally sat down on the other side of the cot, picking up a Walkie-Talkie and twiddling it in his fingers. I still didn't know who this guy was, but I didn't want to risk putting salt in the wound.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Rick whispered, looking down at the guy. He stood again, drawn toward a set of words written in pink chalk. My eyes followed him, and a sense of dread settled in my chest as I read the words 'every one turns'. It was something I already knew, and had known for a long time, but the horrifying reality still took me by surprise whenever I was presented with it.

Rick picked up one of the shotguns and held the scope up to his eye, looking through as the casing clicked. We both jumped and whipped our heads around, staring at the man to make sure the noise hadn't woken him up. Thankfully, he remained soundly asleep. But right as I turned my head again, the man suddenly jumped up from his cot and lunged at me. He had somehow severed the zip tie and woken up. 

I stuck my pole out and pushed him back, throwing him to the ground before I shot up. The clatter alerted Rick to danger, and he rushed to stand by my side. 

"Do you know who I am?" he asked the man, sticking his hand out to him. "Do you see who I am?"

"People wearing dead people's faces." The man's eyes were wide and crazed as he gripped the knife in his hands tighter.

"Morgan, listen to me." That was his name-- Morgan.

"No, I don't know you!" He suddenly shot up, but before he could attack Rick, I stepped in front of him and tried to push him back again. Unfortunately, he'd somehow had a burst of strength and knocked me to the ground, then rushed for Rick again. Rick managed to turn him around and pin him to the wall, attempting to reason with him and wrestle the knife from his hands.

"You saved my life, Morgan," Rick reminded him. "You know me."

Morgan pushed Rick off him and threw him to the ground, pushing me to get up and run to where he'd been thrown. I managed to grab onto Morgan and hold him back for a moment, but he was far stronger and larger than me, and in one move, he threw me to the ground and kneeled over me, attempting to plunge his knife into my head.

"You don't clear!" he shouted as I stuck my arms up and pushed back on his arms. "You turn. You just die."

"You know me!" Rick shouted from where he was on the ground, attempting to get up after being disoriented.

"I don't know anyone anymore! You don't clear!" 

Before I could stop him, Morgan suddenly plunged his knife into my shoulder. An intense pain overwhelmed me and my hand flew to my shoulder as Rick seized Morgan and threw him off me. I felt blood seeping through the spaces in my fingers as my legs turned to jelly beneath me the moment I attempted to stand.

"You know me. You crazy son of a bitch." Despite what just happened, my eyes widened in horror as Rick cornered Morgan and held a gun to his head. He couldn't kill him! He just needed help.

"Please." I began to gasp from both pain and shock. Tears welled in my eyes as Morgan spread his arms, waiting for Rick to deliver the fatal blow. "Please kill me."

Horrified, Rick pulled away and stumbled, staring at Morgan and not knowing what to do. Using my pole for support, I stood up and got my footing as Morgan began to both laugh and sob at the same time. But Morgan was subdued now, so Rick picked him up off the floor, took the knife, and zip tied his hands again before throwing him onto his bed. Once that had been taken care of, Rick scavenged for bandages and antiseptic to deal with my knife wound.

"Did he get you anywhere else?" Rick asked as he crouched down in front of me, putting some of the clear liquid on a towel and pressing it against the wound. I hissed at the stinging sensation, but it paled in comparison to the sensation of the knife piercing my flesh.

"No," I muttered, eyes fluttering to the floor. "I'm sorry." He looked up at me curiously.

"For what?"

"I should've been prepared." Rick removed the towel from my shoulder and began to wrap it up in bandages. "I got caught off guard, and I'm lucky he just got my shoulder. I'll try harder next time." I winced as Rick tied the bandage tight and looked me in the eyes.

"You fought as hard as you could, okay? You protected yourself, and you helped protect me. It's good you stayed here." He tried to offer me an uplifting smile, but Morgan cut through the moment with his lamenting.

"Just kill me. Just kill me. Just kill me. Just--just kill me."

"You found me last year in my front yard, Morgan. You and--" He stopped, eyes momentarily flashing over the words 'Duane Turned'. "You found me. You fed me. You told me what's happening. You saved me. My name is Rick Grimes. You know me. I'm not wearing a dead man's face." Rick made his way over to a basket and picked up the Walkie-Talkie. "I gave you this. I said I'd turn it on every day at dawn so you could find me."

Morgan's facial expression shifted, as though he'd been snapped out of a hypnotic trance, and his brows furrowed as he stared at the man in front of him.

"Rick?" he whispered. "I know you. Oh, man. Dammit, I-- I know you. I know who you are. You said you'd turn yours on at dawn." I crossed my arms, unconvinced. He was just repeating everything Rick just said. "That's what you said. I mean, I hadn't worked up to it yet, and-- then I did. On the roof every morning for days. For weeks, me and my boy." My angry posture began to crumble as Morgan spouted out details that could only come from experience. And then... me. Just static, though. Nothing but static. And then nothing but nothing. You weren't there. You were never there."

"I was."

"No, not when I tried. I mean, you said you would turn on your radio, every day at dawn."

"Morgan, I--"

"You said you would turn on your radio--"

"I did!"

"--every day at dawn, and you were not there!" Rick paused for a moment, wiping his eyes before attempting to explain to Morgan.

"I kept getting-- I kept getting pushed farther out. I had to. I didn't have a choice. I found my wife and my boy. I had people." Morgan's eyes flashed to me for a moment. I was one of those 'people', just not until later on. But he didn't know that. "I had to keep them safe. We kept getting pushed back deeper into the country. I swear to God I didn't have a choice." Morgan kicked the Walkie-Talkie over to Rick.

"You can have your radio back, 'cause it looks like I finally found you. You found your wife and your son. That's what happened, right? You found them." Rick nodded, both of them appearing to be exhausted from their shouting and struggling. "And did they-- did she-- did you wife-- did she turn?"

"No, she died." Part of me wanted to stop Morgan, but at the same time, I knew this would be good for Rick. He needed to finally let all of this out, stop holding everything in and attempting to deal with it. Morgan nodded, his expression twisting bitterly.

"So you didn't have to see that, then. Of course not." He chuckled, the harsh sound spitting from his mouth. "Not like me. No. Not like me. Not like my wife. You remember what happened to her?" Rick nodded. "You remember what she was?" I started to piece Morgan's story together. "Yeah." He went silent for a while, staring at the ground before he seemed to remember another detail. "Oh. You gave me the gun. You tried."

"What did I try, Morgan?" Rick glanced back at me for a moment, as though warning me to be ready. Morgan began to laugh again, slipping back into his hysterical state as Rick crouched onto the ground. Once he finally sat, I reached back with one hand and gripped my pole, ready to swing at a moment's notice.

"You tried to get me to do it 'cause I was supposed to do it. I was supposed to kill her, my Jenny. Knew I was supposed to, but I let it go. Let it go like there wasn't gonna be a reckoning. We was always looking for food. You know, it always came down to food. And I was-- I was checking out a cellar and I didn't want Duane to come down there with me. And then when I came up..." He took a deep breath as tears started to well in his eyes. "...she was standing there, right in front of him, and he had his gun up and he couldn't do it. So I called to him and he turned. And then she was just-- just on him. And I see red. I see red. Everything is red. Everything I see is red. And I do it. Finally." He turned away from us. "Finally was too late."

My breath began to shake as I bit down on my tongue. The horror of the situation hadn't hit me at first, but now... I began to realize Morgan was broken, not insane. He was just like the rest of us.

"I was supposed to. I was selfish. I was weak." He looked to Rick again. "You gave me the gun." Rick opened and shut his mouth for a while, but couldn't find the right words to say. I could feel my head spinning slightly, forcing me to sit down. Only now did I notice Carl's hat had flown from my head in the scuffle. I reached over carefully and picked it up, placing it back on my head. "Hey, your boy-- is he dead?"

"No." Rick gestured his head toward me, as though the hat would be evidence. But me wearing Carl's hat really did more look like he'd died than he just went out on a run. 

"No?" Morgan nodded. "He will be." I sat up a little straighter, trying my best to hold back the anger that suddenly surged through me. How _dare_ he say that about Carl, especially to his own father. "See, 'cause people like you, the good people, they always die. And the bad people do, too. But the weak people, the people like me... we have inherited the earth."

I shook my head and stood up, making my way to the window, watching for any sign of sentient life. Walkers shambled back and forth, but I couldn't spot Carl and Michonne yet. They still hadn't returned...

I hoped Morgan wasn't right.

"I'm not going to kill you." I turned to see Morgan looking up at Rick, eyes begging him to let him go. "I don't think that's what's supposed to happen. I think you're supposed to come back with us." Rick knelt down beside Morgan and began to cut the zip tie. A different smile crossed Morgan's face, one that actually seemed genuine. 

"After all that? After I tried to blow your head off, stab your heart out, happily ever after together?"

"You couldn't kill me, I couldn't kill you. I'll take that as a sign."

"Huh." I noticed Rick finally smiling again, and it spread onto my face.

"We found a prison. The fences can keep 'em out."

"Is that where your wife died?" I rolled my eyes. He came so close. "Just go. Don't go back. Don't stop. Just get yourself some more time."

"Look, I can help you. You can come back with us. You can heal."

"You're taking a lot of guns, Rick. No, I'm just saying that all is a lot of guns. Why do you need the guns, Rick? 'Cause if you got something good, that just means that there's someone who wants to take it. And that _is_ what is happening, right?"

"We're gonna win." Morgan laughed at Rick's certainty. "You can be there. You can help."

"You will be torn apart by teeth or bullets. You and your boy, that girl. Your people, but not me. Because I am not gonna let that happen again. Man, you take the guns." He got up and began to gather them up for Rick.

"You know there's a chance. That's what you can't square. That's what hurts. You know there's a chance."

"I don't think you heard a damn word that I said."

"We both started out in the same place. Things went bad for you, things went bad for me. But you're not seeing things right. I don't blame you, what you've lost, what you've been through. You're not seeing things right, but you can come back from this, I know you can. You have to. This can't be it. It can't be. You got to be able to come back from this."

"No."

"Morgan, please."

"No! I have to clear. That's why I didn't die today. That's the sign. I have to, man. I have to. I have to clear." 

Rick nodded, finally accepting defeat, then picked up the bag of guns and pat me on the shoulder, signaling for us to leave. We made our way back through the traps and out the front door, and once it shut behind us, I turned to Rick.

"I don't want that to ever happen to any of us." He tried to smile at me, but without the proper motivation, it just looked insincere. Instead, he pat my shoulder again, as though he didn't know what else to do. The door opened and shut behind us again, and Rick and I watched as Morgan wordlessly passed us and began to scoop up the dead Walkers.

My heart soared as I turned my head to the left and saw two figures heading toward us, carrying a large baby crib.

"I was just about to come look for you."

"Sorry," Michonne muttered.

"It's all right. You're here now."

Everything that happened, everything Morgan had said, began to overwhelm me, and I had to resist the urge to lunge at Carl and pull him into a hug, for Michonne's sake. Her eyes cast down to the three bags of guns, then up to Ricks' face, as though asking what happened.

"Oh, it's nothing." She took one of the bags from his hands. "Thank you." Carefully, we began to make our way back to the car, weaving through wire and spikes.

"He's okay?" Carl asked as we passed by Morgan, tying two of the Walkers to a gurney. 

"No, he's not," I scoffed. 

"Wait. Hey." I planted my feet and balled up my fists.

"Carl," I snapped.

"Morgan." He looked up and over at Carl. "I had to shoot you." I rolled my eyes. This excuse again. "You know I had to, right?" He nodded. "I'm sorry." He turned to try and head back to the car, but before we could even move, I spotted Morgan begin to move out of the corner of my eye, sneering at Carl. Almost out of instinct, I removed my pole from my back and held it out in front of him, guarding him from whatever Morgan might do.

"Hey, son. Don't ever be sorry." I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw. No one should be encouraging Carl for this kind of behavior, but especially not Morgan. 

We all stared at him for another moment, then went back to the car. Carefully, Carl and Michonne loaded the crib into the back, and once we'd loaded everything up into the trunk, Carl and I turned to each other. His eyes wandered to my shoulder as I placed his hat back on his head.

"Annah, what happened to--"

Before he could finish, I jumped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed shocked at first, but ended up returning the gesture, sighing a little bit. Something made me want to stay like that forever, I couldn't really tell what. But I knew we had to head home, before people thought we weren't coming back. I pulled back, my eyes resting on Michonne for a moment.

"Everything okay with her?" Carl shrugged, but I noticed a little smile on his face.

"I think she might be one of us."

"What?" I played up the question, attempting to be as dramatic as possible about the change of heart. He smiled, nodding.

"Everything went okay." I returned his smile as Rick came around to us.

"You two hop in. I'll throw this in the back."

We nodded and slid into our seats, securing the seat belts before continuing to talk to each other.

"What took you both so long? I thought you had..." I trailed off, not wanting to finished the horrible thought. Carl reached into his flannel and pulled out a rectangular object, extending it to me. My eyes rested on a dusty photograph of Carl, probably eight or nine years old, with his mom and dad. I smiled and handed it back to him after a moment.

"I figured Judith would want to see her mom." I let out a little sigh as I smiled at him.

"I love that." 

Rick and Michonne climbed back in the car, and not long after, he turned on the engine and we headed off, driving back down the stretch of road. We passed by the wreckage of cars, and somewhere along the road, came across the bloodied backpack of the man, now without its owner. Rick stopped the car, and after a second of hesitation, reversed. Carl opened the door and quickly slid out, picking up the bag and throwing it between us before Rick drove again.

Every day, we got more and more used to the brutality.


	22. Chapter 22

I leaned against the icy, concrete wall, watching as the others cleaned and organized our entire arsenal. I refused to touch the guns, even if they needed help. It was more that I couldn't bring myself to do it than I didn't want to help. Just so that I wasn't completely useless, I held Judith against one hip, keeping a close eye on her to make sure nothing bad happened. Of all the people, we all collectively agreed we couldn't lose her.

"Carl, come here," Glenn urged. He set down the ammunition he'd been counting and made his way over. Glenn extended out a duffel bag to him. "You stash these at the loading dock, all right?" He looked back to me now. "Annah, go with him." My heart jumped in my chest as my eyes widened, and I awkwardly held Judith up a little higher.

"I, uh-- I-I got-- have a Judith." Glenn shrugged his shoulders. I could tell he was trying to urge me to go somewhere and not just stand there. 

"Take her with you. You'll be far away from the Walkers." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Take the baby with the guns?"

"The safety's on all of them. You're not in danger." Unfortunately, I'd run out of excuses, so I sighed and nodded. "Beth, put more up on the catwalk. If anyone gets pinned, we need to make sure that they have plenty of ammo. I'll go work on the cage outside." Glenn picked up a blow torch and welding mask, but before he could leave, Merle spoke up.

"What we should be doing is loading some of this firepower in a truck and paying a visit to the Governor." I glanced at Carl for a moment and shifted my weight, feeling slightly uneasy. "We know where he is right now."

"Are you suggesting that we just go in and kill him?"

"Yeah, I am." Glenn waited for a moment, as though expecting some sarcastic comment from Merle that would indicate he was joking, but none came.

"We told Rick and Daryl that we'd stay put," Michonne reminded him.

"I've changed my mind, sweetheart. Being on the sideline with my brother out there ain't sitting right with me."

"The three of them are right in the middle of it. No idea we're coming. They could get taken hostage or killed. A thousand things could go wrong. And they will." Carl started to follow Glenn out, and with a glance back at Merle for a moment, I rushed over to the two of them.

"My dad can take care of himself," Carl snapped.

"Sorry, son. Your dad's head could be on a pike real soon." Carl tried not to react, but I noticed his face scrunch up slightly before we stepped out into the sunlight, making our way to the loading dock.

"Don't listen to him," I scoffed as Carl unzipped the bag and began to remove some of the weapons. "He's just trying to push your buttons and get you to agree with him." He shook his head and finished putting the guns in their places, then sat down on the concrete. "We-We're not heading back?" He shook his head.

"It's probably better to let things cool down in there before we go back and be with the rest of them."

He had a point. Satisfied, I took a seat beside him and placed Judith in my lap letting her grip my pointer fingers with her hands. We both sat in an awkward silence for a moment, contemplating what to say. We both had some issues talking to each other lately, and I'm sure it had to due with the stress of the mounting tensions with Woodbury. Or, perhaps, the words Lori said to me not long before her death began to irk me more and more, the more often Carl shot his gun with wanton disregard.

"Why won't you touch the guns?"

Speak of the devil. I raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to explain.

"I get not wanting to fight with a gun-- it's dangerous, but you hold your own pretty well. But you don't even want to touch them. Why?"

I swallowed, my mind returning to a place I never wanted to again. I'd never seen myself explaining this to Carl, or to anyone in the group, not for many years. I'd talked about my dad before, on occasion, but could I bring myself to this. 

But when I looked at Carl again, something about the look on his face, the way his eyes stared back into mine... I felt like if I could tell anyone, it would be Carl. He was the first person in this group I trusted, after all.

"Uh, yeah. So... you remember me telling you about my dad? And how he's the leader of the group I was in?" He nodded. "Well, um..." I swallowed, casting my gaze downward and focusing on Judith. "I... he _was_ the leader." I expected Carl to say something, but oddly enough, he kept silent, so I continued. "I left... because another man-- someone evil and malicious-- took over. He... he and my dad knew each other before all this. They were both gym teachers at the same school. So when the world ended, he offered him refuge with us at first. Things were fine at first; the group grew, but we didn't mind. People did their share of work. But, not long into it, I started to hear whispers among the ranks. People were getting tired of my dad's way of leading. This guy, though... he had what they wanted. So one day, in the middle of the night, they..."

I had to take a moment as my throat tightened, stinging and forcing the words back down. But I couldn't stop now. I didn't really register it, but Carl removed one of my hands from Judith's and gripped it, trying to give me enough strength to keep going.

"They came in, and they grabbed all of us, and they dragged us out into the dirt. And they kicked my father, and my mother... they made me watch. And once they were subdued enough, once they were nothing but rag dolls out in the cold, the man came forward through the group, and..." I gasped, trying to get enough air to finish my words. "He made me... he made me do it." Carl's eyes widened, horrified. "And then he took my mom... and I ran." I had to take another deep breath, bringing myself out of the past. "I ran for days, and I ended up with all of you." 

A stagnant silence separated, holding the hot air in between us. Carl didn't release my hand, if anything, he started to grip it tighter, before finally finding the words.

"Annah, I... I'm sorry, that..." I tried my best to shake my head and wipe the tears from my eyes, resting Judith against my stomach.

"That's just what the world is now, isn't it? You find the little moments of happiness that you can, because everything else, if you stare at it for too long... you don't know if you can keep going. And it sucks we're already this jaded, but... what can you do?" Carl scooted a little closer to me, and when I looked up and met his eyes again, my heart suddenly jumped, the mood changing.

"Annahbelle."

Before Carl could say anything else, I heard the sound of a car driving over the gravel. I whipped my head around to see the green car and Daryl's motorcycle coming toward the gates. I moved Judith into my hands and jumped up, running down to the main level as Carl followed close behind. Whatever he had to tell me, I'm sure it could wait. Carl helped pry open the gate, allowing our negotiators back in. I tried to smile at first, but when Rick exited the car, his expression caused mine to drop. All of them looked so serious.

"Let's get inside."

Carl and I exchanged a glance before rushing after the others. Rick didn't waste any time going into his cell and taking out a shotgun. Clearly, things hadn't gone well in negotiations.

"So, I met this Governor." I bit my cheek in anger, remembering not too long ago. "Sat with him for quite a while."

"Just the two of you?" Merle asked, tone still biting.

"Yeah."

"Should have gone when we had the chance, bro." With that, he stormed to the back of the group, clearly not wanting to be that close to Rick

"He wants the prison. He wants us gone. Dead. He wants us dead for what he did to Woodbury." He paused for a moment, as though attempting to process his own words. "We're going to war."

I tried my best to keep myself from reacting. I didn't like this idea, but if it's what we had to do, and Rick had already made up his mind, I guess there was nothing I could do. 

He left the room not long after that, leaving the rest of us to prepare without him. I shook my head and turned on my heel, heading into Carl and my cell and sitting down on the bed. I didn't want to deal with this, but I had no choice, at this rate. But could I do it? Could I face things like this again? Would I even be useful, without touching a gun?

My eyes drifted up as footsteps came closer to me. Carl leaned against the wall, offering me a sympathetic look before crossing the room and sitting down beside me. Without speaking a word, be both understood what the other was thinking... and I hated that they clashed.

Mentally exhausted, I leaned my head against his shoulder, shutting my eyes. We'd need to prepare for the oncoming fight, but for now... I wanted to take advantage of the last moment of peace.


	23. Chapter 23

I tried my best not to lean my head back as I slammed the two metal pots in my hands together, attempting to distract the Walkers in the field. Glenn and Daryl were attempting to lay down boards with barbed wire nailed down on them as Michonne took out and Walkers that came too close. Maggie, Carl, and I drew others toward us with noise from the other side of the fence, but there weren't enough to try and take them out. I wasn't sure how much longer I could shout without losing my voice. Thankfully, Glenn and Daryl finished and hopped in the back of the truck. They headed through the gates and Maggie, Carl, and I followed.

Rick acknowledged us with a nod as we came back in, whatever conversation they'd had moments before dissipating into thin air.

"Hey." Maggie went over to Glenn and kissed his cheek, while Rick and Daryl headed back inside. I was about to do the same, when someone grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. I glanced up at Glenn, who smiled down at me a little bit.

"You wanna help me make some Molotovs?" I snorted, squinting up at him as the sun bared down on us.

"Not really, but... it's better than having to organize the arsenal."

Carl was still the only one who knew about the reason I wouldn't touch a gun, but others had picked up on the fact I didn't want to be anywhere near them. The only other job would be sorting out the guns and where they should go, so anywhere I could get that would be far away as possible would be great. I followed Glenn to a broken gate and he slid it open, pulling out some rags and a crate of glass bottles.

"Can you help me close the gate?" I nodded, setting down my pole and making my way over to the large, orange gates. He held the doors steady as I attempted to reach for the lock, the doors began to fall on Glenn, and I had to run over to help him hold them up.

"Hey." I turned my head to see Daryl heading in our direction. "You seen Merle around?"

At the mention of that name, Glenn's expression soured. I bit my tongue and shook my head, not meeting Daryl's eyes. I didn't want to think about what he'd done, but even at the mention of his name, the feeling of being trapped in a room of heads came back to me.

Neither of us responded, focusing back on putting the doors of the gate back in place. Daryl set down his crossbow and picked up the lock, securing it through the bars. Immediately, Glenn turned away from Daryl and began to rip the cloths into strips.

"He said he was sorry yet?" We still remained silent. "'Cause he is. He's gonna make it right. I'm gonna make him."

"Ah. How sincere," I deadpanned. 

"There's got to be a way. Just needs to be a little forgiveness is all." I began to stuff the cloths into bottles as Glenn stepped up, getting threateningly close to Daryl's face.

"He tied me to a chair, beat me, and threw a Walker in the room. Maybe I could call it even. But he-- he took Maggie to a man who terrorized her, humiliated her. I care more about her than I care about me." He made his way back to me, helping me with the rest of the bottles. Daryl picked up his crossbow and stormed away.

"He's trying, you know," I muttered without looking up from my work. "I mean, I don't forgive the Governor, but Merle... Merle was just the errand boy. And, sure, I won't be able to completely forget everything, but it wasn't completely his fault." Glenn shook his head and stared at me.

"How can you just say that? He took you, too, and the Governor tried to force you to stay with him. Who knows what he would've--" Glenn's breath hitched in his throat, forcing him to stop.

"But Michonne got me out of there." I sighed and set down the bottle I'd been working on. "She saved me. I owe her a world of thanks." I started to drift away from our original conversation, but I didn't care. "Even Carl trusts her, and I know that takes a lot."

"I thought we were talking about Merle?" I smiled up at him. 

"We were." I heard Glenn scoff.

"I never took you as someone to look for the good in people." I set another complete bottle into the crate.

"I'm not. I'm just saying, they go through all this trouble... maybe it's worth hearing them out." The anger and tension suddenly seemed to dissipate, fading into nothingness as we continued to work. Nothing was said for a while, focusing in on our work, until Glenn caught me off guard.

"How's Carl doing?" he asked casually, without missing a beat in tearing cloth. I stopped and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You see him all the time. Wouldn't you know?" He smiled and shook his head.

"He opens up to you. You know what's going on in his head. Not even Rick knows those sort of things." I'd been backed into a corner. Glenn knew something about him had been bothering me lately, and this was his way of getting it out of me. I tried to keep focusing on my work, but after only a few moments, I ended up slamming one of the bottles down on the table and leaning against the surface, turning to Glenn with a saddened expression.

"Sometimes, he really scared me." Glenn stopped his work as well, sitting down and inviting me to do the same. I expected him to say something, but he just remained silent, waiting for me to explain before offering his input. "Guns are useful in this world, I get it. They can take out the Walkers from a long distance. I see nothing wrong with that," I lied. "But Carl... he doesn't hesitate. He just uses it, and I'm worried... I think one day he's going to end up hurting someone that doesn't deserve it." Glenn kept quiet for another moment, before finding the right words.

"But you know Carl. You know he's a good kid, right?"

"He's unstable," I shot back. "We've all seen it. He doesn't think before he speaks, or acts." I rested my head on my hand. "I-I don't know what I'd do if he ended up hurting someone innocent."

Glenn didn't seem to know what to say at first. I'd talked about this with other people before, but never to the extent of spilling what lurked in the back of my brain; that fear creeping around in the dark corners. I wanted to trust Carl completely and fully-- there was a time when I did, back when I first found this group-- but his disregard at times made me nervous. We'd never fought about it until a few days ago. Friends fight sometimes, I get that, but I didn't want to have to fight over the same thing over and over again.

I hoped that wasn't where this was headed.

"Annah?" 

I turned my head to see Carl standing by the fencing, arms crossed.

Speak of the devil.

Glenn nudged me with his elbow, nodding in Carl's direction. I tried to shake my head as subtly as possible, knowing what he was trying to suggest. I didn't want to touch on the subject with the person of interest himself. There were too many ways that could end, and to be honest, I didn't really want to see any of them come to fruition. For now, I was fine just holding it all in.

"Glenn, is it okay if Annah and I go for a walk." He crossed his arms, and although I wasn't facing him, I could tell Glenn was staring me down.

"I was just about to suggest she take a break." He pushed me slightly, a little closer to Carl. "She's all yours."

I turned around and shot him a glare, then followed behind Carl, allowing him to lead me out to what had formerly been a recreational area. The Walkers could be heard not far off in the distance, milling about in the field.

"I've been thinking about what you told me yesterday, and this war that's coming. I know you don't want to use a gun, but this is going to be dangerous." I stopped and crossed my arms, shifting to one hip.

"What are you trying to say?" He took a deep breath, shaking slightly. I couldn't tell whether he was nervous about what we knew was coming for us, or something else lingering in the back of his mind.

"Things aren't going to be easy. The Governor's going to want to kill us. So when this whole thing goes down... I want to make sure you'll be safe. Just stay with me, please." 

I mulled it over. On one hand, Carl had a point. The Governor wanted to wipe all of us out, so he could take the prison. But I didn't want to rely on someone to protect me. I could hold my own, and I'd proved that a number of times before. Carl wanted to put on a hero act. Maybe we could protect each other.

"Fine," I sighed. "But you know I can protect myself, right?"

"I mean, yeah." He smiled awkwardly at me, spreading the expression to my face. That nervousness seemed to return for a moment, until we heard footsteps approaching.

I turned my head to see Rick heading our way, shooting us a look that indicated we should follow. I turned away from Carl and let him lead us to the picnic table, where a few others were waiting. After a couple moments of waiting, Glenn and Maggie came to join all of us. Rick took a moment to compose himself before speaking to all of us.

"When I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said-- he said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne. And I was gonna do that to keep us safe." My eyes widened. Even though this had nothing to do with me, I still felt betrayed. "I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him, and I don't know if it's too late. I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry. What I said last year, that first night after the farm... it can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we _are_ the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live, how you die-- it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight, or we can go."

Rick's words weren't exactly uplifting, but they were unifying. We had to fight, there wasn't much choice there. Rick had told us what he'd done wrong, but proved he was willing to make everything right.

We didn't have a choice. We had to fight, to save the rest of us; to give Judith a future.

We had to fight to protect our home.


	24. Chapter 24

I watched as Carl began to throw all his things into a paper bag. We'd been told to pack up our things, just in case we needed to abandon ship, and as usual, Carl had started late. After shoving another shirt in, he paused for a moment, then reached in and pulled out the picture frame he'd gone to find back when we ran into Morgan. He stared at it for a while, breath becoming more ragged before he shoved it back into the bag. I hesitated in the doorway, unsure of whether to disturb him or not. I sighed, beginning to turn on my heel, before a voice called out to me.

"Annah?" I stopped and turned to look down on Carl again. He stared at his dad's sheriff badge, shimmering against the light in his hand, before stuffing it crudely into the bag. "I can't believe he's making us do this. It's ridiculous." I sighed, shaking my head.

"He's just trying to make sure you're safe, Carl. It's not just you, either; it's Judith, Hershel, Beth, me... he's not just keeping you out of the fight." That didn't seem to move him at all. He picked up the duffel bags in front of him and aggressively threw them over his shoulder, slamming them against his back. "Carl!" Despite his anger, he stopped in his tracks and looked at me. "Please, just... you have to try and understand where he's coming from."

"I'm capable of fighting, Annah. You are, too. He's making a mistake." He tried to storm away from me, but I grabbed his arm roughly. I wasn't about to give up. 

"Believe it or not, Carl, he's not." He grunted and pulled his arm from my grip, stomping out the doors and into the light. I pressed my fingers against the bridge of my nose, shaking my head before following him out, my own bag around my shoulders. Rick tried to stop Carl on his way to the trunk of the car, but he brushed past his father with an aggressive shove.

"I've never seen him this mad," Glenn sighed. "Even with Lori. He just shut down." Rick looked back at his son as he stood there, arms crossed as he waited for the rest of our group to assemble.

"He's still a kid. It's easy to forget." Rick crouched down and looked to me, eyes just level with mine. "You keep him in line, okay? I know he trusts you a hell of a lot more than the others we're sending you with. I'm counting on you to keep them safe." My eyes drifted downward.

"That's a lot to ask, Rick."

"He'll listen to you, Annah." I scoffed.

"Most of the time." Rick's expression had shifted from patient to stern. "Sorry. I'll try."

"Thank you." Rick pat my shoulder and stood up, heading over to Michonne and Glenn to finalize plans. I watched them converse, trying to make out what they were planning. We really hadn't been filled in on what was happening, which I'm sure only made Carl more nervous.

"Annahbelle, we have to go." I turned to see Hershel standing there with Beth, who had Judith balanced on one hip. Carl's eyes wouldn't leave the ground, his feet scuffing against the cement. I sighed, watching him as he sadly waited to walk away. 

For as much as he scared me, I couldn't bring myself away from him. We'd grown closer since I first came here, and even then, there had been an instant sort of connection. He was the first person I trusted here, the reason I decided to stay, for the most part. He wasn't completely stable, but really, how many of us were at this point? Carl was someone I could lean on when I needed to, the person I could talk to and open myself up to completely and wholly. I felt like there was a hollow part of my stomach that danced back and forth when we saw each other.

Shit.

This could be the last time we see each other. The Governor could wipe us all out, just like that. I couldn't just let this linger in the air forever.

Before any of us could leave, I stood up a little straighter, trying to keep myself from losing my control and keeping my mouth shut.

"Carl!" He didn't move his gaze, but he stopped kicking pebbles. I moved to stand by his side, watching his facial expressions shift. "Look, I know you're upset because I'm agreeing with your dad. And I'm sorry about that. But I want us to be safe-- I want _you_ to be safe. I don't want something to happen to you, when I could've said something or done something to prevent it." His eyes flickered over to me for a second. "Carl, I--"

The moment I tried to tell him what I wanted to say, a lump formed in my throat, causing me to choke on my own breath. I blinked a few times, trying to make sense of things, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. So, instead, I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Carl's eyes widened and he snapped his gaze up, staring at me with wide eyes. A smile fought its way onto my face, then I turned on my heel and ran toward Hershel and Beth, as though I could run from the embarrassment of the moment.

"Annah!"

I whipped my head around to see Carl running toward me, not far behind. His frustration had momentarily faded away, and he almost appeared giddy. He didn't say anything, either, but reached out to take my hand. It didn't quite feel right at first, but after only a few seconds, it all just seemed like something completely normal. I saw Hershel glance back at us for a second and smile, but he fought it back down and turned around.

Carl released my hand as we took our position in the woods, staying on watch. I turned my back opposite the prison, refusing to watch as the Governor and his men barreled into our home and began to fire bullets as though it were nothing. Soon, Maggie and Glenn would fire back; soon, Rick and Michonne would send them running; soon, this would all be over. For now, however, all the four of us could do (five, if you counted Judith) was wait. There was a scuffle, bullets flying from both sides, but eventually, the Governor and his soldiers got in their vehicles and left, numbers severely depleted. It almost seemed like everything would work out, when there was a rustling in the bushes. My arm flew to my pole, ripping it from its spot and readying it for a swing, while Carl held his gun out straight in front of him.

We stared into the eyes of a young man, easily around sixteen or seventeen, who looked right back with fearful eyes. His hands flew up in surrender, clearly not wanting to make things worse than they already were for his side of the fight.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't shoot," he pleaded. I let my guard down a little bit, but still remained defensive.

"Drop the weapon, son," Hershel ordered.

"Sure." His eyes flickered to Carl, and he began to hand his gun over, holding it in a way where he couldn't suddenly turn and shoot. He wanted to surrender. "Here, take it." Carl refused to lower his gun, and I tried to whisper to him under my breath. But he wouldn't listen.

Just as he set the weapon on the ground, a bright light flashed to my left, and the boy's body thudded to the ground. My hands began to tremble as one them flew to my mouth, my eyes widening and tears beginning to well. I stared at Carl in shock, in complete and utter horror, at what he had just done. The one thing I had feared most, the one thing I'd been warned about... he'd done it. 

The second his eyes met mine, I turned away, attempting to process. How could I trust him now? After all I'd told him, he turned around and used his weapon to hurt someone who'd done nothing wrong.

"Annahbelle..."

I yanked my hand away as he tried to reach for it, staring at him once more as I trembled before moving to stand behind Beth, removed from him. I couldn't trust him anymore.

How unfortunately ironic the first person I trusted would also be the first person to break it.

Horrified, Hershel led us back to the prison, safe inside. I pushed past everyone and sat down on the floor, unable to keep standing for another second without my legs collapsing underneath me. Rick immediately rushed to his son and daughter, kissing the latter on the top of her head.

"Dad, I'm coming with you to Woodbury," Carl insisted. I held back a scoff. 

"Carl," Rick sighed, standing up.

"Dad, I did my job out there. Just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers." I couldn't hold back my disgust anymore. Now he was straight up lying to his father.

"One of his soldiers?" I laughed, sounding as though I'd slipped off my rocker a bit. But I didn't care. "A kid running away? He stumbled across us."

"No, he drew on us," Carl shot back.

"I'm sorry you had to do that," Rick muttered. I couldn't believe he was buying this, after everything.

"It's what I was there for. I'm going with you." Carl pushed away from his dad and went off, likely to re-load, and I took my chance. Rick had just started to walk away when I spoke.

"That kid was scared." He stopped in his tracks and looked back at me as I stood up, my strength slowly coming back to me. "He was handing his gun over." Rick remained silent for a moment, but refused to believe I was telling the truth.

"He said he drew." I shook my head. "Carl said it was in defense."

"I was there. He didn't have to shoot. He had every reason not to."

"Maybe it looked like that to you, Annahbelle--"

"Rick!" We both drew back slightly, shocked. It wasn't like me to suddenly just shout at someone out of anger, especially him. But I'd been hurt and betrayed by someone I cared about. "I'm telling you, he gunned that kid down."

I waited as the adults headed to Woodbury, preparing to finish the fight once and for all. The halls were quiet without someone to talk to, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I couldn't even think about him anymore. A dull pain rested in my chest where, just a few hours ago, my heart soared. We'd been broken apart, a bond shattered like fine china with one wrong move. 

My attention had been drawn outside at the sound of the gates opening. I pushed open the door and emerged into the sunlight, where everyone else already stood, watching as the grey prison bus rolled up closer to the entrance. My eyes widened as I watched new people disembark, aided by some of our own. They all looked scared and confused, so I smiled, attempting to ease their fears.

"What the hell is this?" I heard Carl snap.

"They're going to be joining us."

I began to nod to some of the people in acknowledgement, welcoming them. I had been in their shoes, after all.

For a second, my eyes accidentally met Carl's, before falling to the ground as I shook my head. I couldn't do it. Everyone always preached about forgiveness, but I couldn't do it. The person I first trusted, now also the first I didn't.

As everyone made their way back inside with the newcomers, I stared off at the sky, fighting back tears. Here I was, right back where I started... just somewhere new.

I didn't know who to trust anymore.


	25. Chapter 25

I kept one hand firmly gripped on my pole, eyes scanning the damaged environment carefully. I tread as carefully as I could, hoping there wasn't anything to alert if I did end up accidentally making noise. The further in I got, the more plentiful resources became. Essentials had been pretty much stripped completely, but little things like books and some DVDs that would never be seen again laid perfectly on the shelves, doing nothing but collecting dust. For a moment, I let my defenses down and scanned my eyes over the bound books, begging someone who would be interested to open them and peruse their pages. I ended up moving right past them, however, and settling on thin booklets covered in bright colors. The gloss of the pages had worn down over the years, but they were still appealing as ever. Smiling, I reached out and began to scoop a bunch up, not caring whether or not we had the space in our bag.

"Annah?"

I jumped as I spun around, comic books fluttering to the floor like dying butterflies as my hand grabbed my pole and swung it out. Thankfully, the woman in front of me had quick enough reflexes to grab it before I delivered a fatal blow. Michonne looked at me with a confused expression.

"You really think a Walker would try and talk to you?" she teased, leaning over to help me pick up the comic books.

"The Walkers aren't the only monsters out there, you know that." Her eyes moved over each of the books, her stern expression melting into a smile.

"You get these for yourself." She knew the answer I didn't even want to admit to myself, but she clearly wanted to hear me say it.

"I thought... you... might like them." I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to brush it off and move on from the incident.

"Annah, come on." I shook my head, already moving toward the doors. "You have to talk to him. We both know he misses you." I paused long enough to stare back at her, before we both went back out into the sunlight and hopped up on our horses.

"No."

I couldn't remember the last time I'd spoken to Carl Grimes. Ever since the _incident_ , I'd completely turned my back on him, unable to even look at him without feeling a strong surge of anger and sadness. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him, no matter how many times I'd thought about it. I rehearsed what I would say, prepared for every accusation and scenario, but the moment he walked by me, I shriveled up, unable to force out more than a scoff if he looked in my direction. Although Rick seemed confused why one thing could have ended our friendship, he approached the situation carefully, moving me to a separate cell and tried to keep the scenarios where we could come in contact with each other to a minimum. We'd been given separate chores-- ones where I could escape the walls for a few hours, and he could keep a close eye on Carl. He'd even taken the liberty of seizing Carl's gun, refusing to give in to his begging.

Every cautionary measure had been taken, and Rick said he'd started to see a change in Carl. But for whatever reason, that didn't make things any better for me.

The gates swung open as Michonne and I approached the prison, giving us a small window to get through. The moment our horses cleared the first one, it slammed shut behind us, preventing any of the Walkers in the field from getting through. I attempted to still the furious hammering of my heart as my eyes, for just a second, caught a glimpse of a boy my age with long, brown hair. Of all the times he had to be here, why now? Why, when Michonne was likely about to incriminate me for accidentally thinking of him on the run?

Rick and Carl ran to us as Michonne began to unload her bag. I leaned against one of the horses and crossed my arms, trying my best to keep Carl out of my eye line. Unfortunately, I couldn't block out his voice.

"We're glad to see you." Rick looked to both of us with a warm smile.

"Glad to see you, too." Michonne reached into her bag and pulled out the stack of comic books. Shit... "Somebody hit the jackpot."

"No way. Awesome! Thank you."

"I get to read 'em when you're done." I breathed a tiny sigh of relief, hoping she'd just move on. "And I found this." She placed an electric razor in Rick's hand, but instead of thanking her, he just stared at her, as though trying to ask why she'd brought it. "You face is losing the war."

I snickered, bringing all the attention to me. For a split second, I accidentally caught Carl's eyes, forcing me to throw my own down to the gravel.

"You gonna stay a little while?" Rick asked.

"Just a little while." Soon, Michonne and I would be out again, trying to find more supplies, and maybe even track down where the Governor had gone. After Rick and the others had gone to Woodbury, the Governor disappeared, unheard of and unseen up to this point. 

The revving of a motorcycle drew our attention up the hill. Daryl led the green car down toward us, getting ready to head on a run. I'd heard about one happening soon, but of course, everyone was apprehensive.

"Well, look who's back," Daryl teased, glancing at Michonne and I.

"Didn't find him," I informed Daryl sadly. His expression fell slightly, but I could tell he was trying to push back his disappointment.

"Glad to see you both in one piece."

"We were thinking of looking out near Macon." Rick lifted his head slightly, sighing through his nostrils and looking away-- his way of expressing disapproval. "It's worth a shot."

"Seventy miles of Walkers. You might run into a few unneighborly types. Is it?" Daryl pointed a finger at me. "There's no way you're taking her all the way out there."

"I never agreed to that," I protested.

"I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot. The one I was talking about, just seeing."

"Yeah, I got to go out and check the snares. I don't want to lose whatever we catch to the Walkers."

"I'll go."

"You just got here." I inhaled sharply, wishing I could drown out voices.

"And I'll be back," Michonne assured him. Looked like we were heading out again.

"Hey." I turned to look up at Rick. "Patrick wanted to see you whenever you got back." I turned my head toward Michonne, raising an eyebrow. She wanted to leave now, but meeting with Patrick would delay that. Michonne barely hesitated before speaking to me.

"You should take a break, Annah. Stay here for a while." 

"Are you sure?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Don't you want help out there?" She smirked, chuckling.

"I'll be fine. Take some time for yourself."

Before I could protest, everyone began to leave, keeping me in the one place I'd tried to avoid getting stuck. I couldn't just stay here, not with Carl so close, so I ran up the hill and through the final gates. Carol stood behind a grill that we used to cook most of the food we found. The people from Woodbury, and a few of our own, all sat at tables, conversing lightly as they are the deer Daryl had caught the day before.

Carol spotted me as she looked up from her cooking, waving her spatula at me as I made my way to her. 

"Welcome back, sweetie." She wiped one of he dirty hands on her apron before wrapping her free arm around my shoulders.

Ever since Carl and I had stopped being friends, everyone approached me with a sort of delicacy. They thought I'd been broken somehow, like I'd lost a piece of myself. But really, overall, I felt fine. I just couldn't look at Carl, otherwise that pit in my stomach would come back.

"Daryl made sure I saved you a big helping of deer for when you came back." She reached over to her right and handed me a bowl, piled high with freshly cooked, seasoned meat. "I reminded him this would really only be good for a couple says, so we're luck you and Michonne came back today. 

"Thank you, Carol," I sighed, eyeballing the bowl as though it were the Holy Grail itself. "Have you seen Patrick?"

"He should just be inside. I think he was waiting for you." Carol paused for a moment. "He misses you." I scoffed.

"I wasn't gone for that long."

"I'm not talking about Patrick." I paused, now staring at that same bowl with contempt.

"He shot an innocent boy, Carol."

"He did what he thought was right." My mouth twisted from a hard line into a frown.

"That boy did nothing wrong. When Carl has a gun in his hand, he can't be trusted. That's all."

I shook my head and turned away, heading to the D Block of cells. A tall, awkward boy sat at one of the tables, bent over a book. I tried my best to keep my footsteps quiet as falling snow as I crept up behind him.

"Hey, nerd."

He jumped as the words left my mouth and chucked his book to the other end of the room. I sighed and shook my head, then tried my best to smile.

"Well, your reflexes are getting a lot better. Now we just have to work on your aim."

"You should be glad I didn't hit you." I crossed the room to pick up his book. "Otherwise, you'd have a big welt on your face."

"I'd prefer you did. You have to be able to fight whenever, even if you're caught off guard."

"You'd be complaining either way."

I bit my tongue. Patrick sometimes pretended he knew me better than he actually did. He and his people had only been here for a couple of months, and for a large majority of that time, Michonne and I had been exploring the wider areas. We weren't as close as friends could be, but at this moment, he was all I had. Sure, other kids had come here with them, but there was something unsettling about them. Besides, they were far younger, they had different interests and ideas about the world.

"Come on, let's go outside." I moved into his cell, and grabbed a worn-down soccer ball, with patches falling and clinging for dear life. 

"Annah..." he whined. 

"We don't have to play a full game, we can just kick it back and forth."

He opened his mouth to protest, but part of him knew there was no winning an argument with me, so he got up and followed me out into the sunlight. We settled ourselves in a patch of grass between the gates and began to pass the ball back and forth. 

"How long will you be here this time?" he asked before forcefully passing the ball to me.

"Michonne told me to stay for a little while," I shrugged. "Whenever she comes back again, I'll head out."

"You're always gone. Makes it hard to be friends with you." I laughed.

"Well, I'd say you should write me, but the postal service has been dead for who-knows-how-many years." I kicked the ball again. "Besides, I've got Michonne to protect me if anything goes wrong." He remained quiet for a moment, as though attempting to process.

"You're really brave, Annah." I scoffed. "I couldn't just go out there into the fray." I stopped the ball and looked up.

"You'll have to fight eventually Patrick. The dead might get in, the Governor might come back, we might need you to go out on a run. You need to learn." He shook his head, looking down.

"I can't do it. Not yet."

At first, my eyes were on Patrick, but they wandered a little past at something strange: several of the kids were pressed against the fence, speaking to the Walkers attempting to get through and waving at them. Patrick followed my gaze, and I picked up the soccer ball, leading him over to the kids. The tallest of them all, a blonde girl named Lizzie who gave me the same vibes as a little girl from a horror movie, smiled out at them.

"Nick! Over here, Nick!" the children called.

"You're naming them?" I interjected, raising an eyebrow at the kids.

"Well, one of them has a name tag, so we thought all of them should," Mika-- Lizzie's little sister-- explained.

"They had names when they were alive. They're dead now," I sighed.

"No, they're not. They're just different." I looked at Lizzie with a cold, hard stare. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" I pinched the bridge of my nose before attempting to explain. "Okay, they don't talk. They don't think. They eat people. They kill people."

"People kill people. They still have names."

"Have you seen what happens? Have you seen someone die like that."

"Yeah, I have," Lizzie answered quickly. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at her. She was such a stubborn, messed up kid, and I couldn't stand it.

"They're not people, and they're not pets. Don't name them." Instead of firing back, Lizzie turned to the other kids, completely brushing off my words.

"We're supposed to go read. Come on." While the others walked away, Mika lingered for a moment.

"You coming to story time tonight?" she asked Patrick, who warily glanced at me before answering.

"Uh... yeah."

"See you then." As she walked away, I looked up at Patrick with a teasing smirk.

"I go sometimes. I'm immature. You wouldn't dig it, it's for kids." He glanced up at the prison. "I'm gonna head up there, too. I'll catch you later, Annah."

"Yep."

I watched as he retreated up the path, following far after the other kids. I turned on my heels and headed in the other direction, heading back toward the other end of the building where I lived. I wanted to head back and nap for a little while before dinner, just sort of relax and have some time to myself.

As I walked up the gravel path, my eyes wandered into the field where we kept the animals and grew food, and my heart stopped. A pair of blue eyes drifted up at the same time and met mine, causing my vision to blur slightly. My relaxed facial expression clenched, jaw snapped shut as my hands balled up before I turned away and ran up the rest of the way, sprinting into my cell and practically jumping up on my bed. I rolled over and stared at the wall for a while, attempting to calm and control myself before I was able to drift off to sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

My eyes suddenly shot open as screams and gunshots assaulted my ears. Some sounded distant, possibly from the next cell block, while others were right outside. For a moment, I just laid there, confused, until my mind came back to me, and I sat up straight and suddenly.

All of the kids were in that cell block. 

I quickly threw myself out of bed and rushed toward the cells, yanking open the door before quickly slamming it shut behind me. People ran past me to get out as quickly as possible, staring at me only for a moment before heading to Cell Block C. Over the chaos, I faintly heard Rick's voice ordering people to run. He kept asking people if they were bit, and when they shook their heads, he urged them out of the cell block. He kept firing at Walkers as they shambled closer.

How the hell did Walkers get in here?

Rick took a break from shooting when he noticed me. I almost volunteered to help, when it dawned on me that I hadn't brought my weapon, and no way in hell was a firing a gun. Rick shook his head, lowering his weapon slightly as he shouted at me.

"Get out of here, Annah!" I shook my head furiously and dodged out of the way as people slammed against my shoulders in their attempts to get out. Vaguely, I could hear the squelching of skin as some of the Walkers bit down into their trapped victims, resigning them to an inevitable fate.

After another moment of what I could only explain as gawking, I pushed through the crowd of people and started to help and usher them out. Quite a few of them cast me looks or moved me aside, and some disregarded my presence entirely. Under normal circumstances, I would have shouted, calling them out, but there were more pressing matters at hand. 

For a moment, I glanced out into the thick of the chaos, and spotted a little boy with curly hair backing up against the staircase. He looked up at the Walker pursuing him with terror in his eyes, tears slipping down as his breaths came in short spurts. Without a second thought, I rushed toward him, shoving the Walker to the ground and slamming my foot down on its head before scooping the little boy up. His mother came to my side only a second later, and I passed him off into her arms. Carol and I darted back and forth, trying to help people safely into cells, while Glenn and Daryl focused on putting down the Walkers within the close quarters.

"Karen! Karen!" Tyreese, one of the people who had escaped from Woodbury, came bounding over the bodies and embraced a woman with brown, curly hair before ushering her into the cell for safety. 

It appeared everyone had been brought to safety, locked behind the doors of the cells. Although any stray Walkers could reach through the holes in the bars, at least there weren't any trapped on the inside. I looked down, spotting one last Walker attempting to crawl across the floor, and slammed my foot down on its soft skull, causing grey brains and red blood to spatter onto the concrete and the bottom of my shoe.

"Check all of 'em-- every cell." Rick sounded slightly calmer now, but that didn't diminish the sudden panic of the situation.

I jumped slightly as Sasha, Tyreese's sister, came up behind me with an axe in her hand, running up to each cell and quickly scanning over those inside before moving on to the next one. I managed to force my feet to move, heading toward the staircase. 

"Up here!" Glenn shouted, and immediately, Daryl, Rick, and I rushed up into the Perch, as Daryl called it. Glenn stood pressed against one of the walls, right next to a cell with the entrance covered by a flapping, flowery curtain. Before any of us could get close enough and throw it open, a Walker came stumbling out and grabbed onto Glenn.

"Get down!" I jumped out of the way as Glenn crouched, bringing the Walker down with him so Daryl could get a clear shot into the dead's head. Once we were clear, I ran over and opened the curtain as Daryl helped Glenn to his feet.

I took in a sharp breath as my eyes met the corpse laying on the ground, my brain going blank for a moment. He was almost unrecognizable with slick blood coating the bottom half of his face, but I knew the person well enough to see through the slight rot and red liquid. My hands involuntarily balled up as I tried to fight down tears.

"Oh, it's Patrick," Daryl muttered. None of us dared to move, unsure of what to do in this case. I could feel their eyes on me, watching for what I would do, but I just forced myself to turn around and leaned against the wall. "That's all of 'em."

By this point, I could hear others entering the cell block and tending to those that had survived the sudden attack. I still couldn't bring myself to move as Rick and Daryl checked the last of the cells on the upper floor, confirming all the Walkers had been taken care of. My mind kept running in circles, trying to process the fact that Patrick was, in fact, gone. I feared I'd become indifferent to death, but I guess this proved otherwise.

After another moment, I pushed the curtain aside again and crouched down, inspecting Patrick's corpse carefully. Strangely enough, there were no bite marks or scratches, meaning he had somehow just died. I didn't really understand how that was possible, given that he seemed completely healthy the last time I had seen him. 

"Annah?"

I jumped up and poked my head out of the cell, spotting Rick beckoning me over. Hershel and our new doctor, Dr. S, had come upstairs, and now everyone was crowded around another corpse. Carefully, I approached the ground and pushed through them a little, scanning over the face of the body. They weren't someone I recognized, but the way the blood tracked on their face _was_ familiar. 

"No bites. No wounds," Rick stated. "He must have just died."

"Horribly, too. Pleurisy aspiration." I raised an eyebrow at Dr. S, unsure of the words that came out of his mouth. 

"Choked to death on his own blood," Hershel translated. "Caused those trails down his face."

"I've seen them before on a Walker outside the fences," Rick informed us. 

"I saw them on Patrick, too," I whispered, unable to bring my voice to be any louder as I tried to keep my mind away from the image of Patrick's dead body.

"They're from the internal lung pressure building up-- like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top." My hand unconsciously drifted to my eyelids, as though that would protect them from the impact of something I didn't even have.

"It's a sickness from the Walkers?" Bob, another newcomer, asked, staying far out of the cell.

"No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain."

"Someone locked him in just in time." 

"No, man. Charlie used to sleepwalk," Daryl contradicted Hershel. "Locked himself in. Hell, he was eating barbecue just the other day. How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?"

"I had a sick pig. It died quick. Saw a sick boar in the woods."

"Pigs and boars. That's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs." For a second, I stared at Hershel in disbelief. They were one of our food sources, and one of the most important ones. We'd be losing a major resource if we had to get rid of them.

"Maybe we got lucky," Dr. S tried to reason. "Maybe these two cases are it."

"Haven't seen anybody be lucky in a long time. Bugs like to run through close quarters," Bob pointed out. "Doesn't get any closer than this."

"All of us in here, we've all been exposed." 

Everyone fell silent as we came to grips with the reality of this. Any one of us could be infected, possibly dead come nighttime. Not to mention that everyone who lived in this cell block, or came into contact with Charlie or Patrick, was at risk of falling ill.

"We have to take precautions," Rick sighed. "Right now, we have to get out of here. We're at higher risk."

My eyes stayed trained to the body as Rick took hold of one of my shoulders and started to lead me out of the cells. I stumbled a bit as he kept pulling on me, my feet refusing to leave where they had been planted. I could feel my heartbeat rising as we walked through the carnage, each corpse wearing the same blood stains. The prickles of sunlight that indicated we’d left the most dangerous area provided no comfort.

I suddenly snapped my head down as Michonne, Maggie, and Carl came into view. Whatever had happened, Maggie leaned against Michonne for support, limping as they made their way closer. Carl’s eyes fell on his father, and he immediately broke away from Maggie, rushing toward us. I leaned against the wall and averted my eyes, pretending the hopeful expression on his face didn’t cause my heart to drop a little.

“Hey, you might want to stay back.” Rick held his arm out, trying to keep his son from getting too close to him. Carl, however, didn’t listen, instead wrapping his arms around his Dad. “Carl,” he sighed.

“Dad, I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I didn’t see you come out.”

“It’s okay,” Rick assured him. “I’m here. I’m fine. But back away.”

“I had to use one of the guns by the gate,” Carl admitted. I expected to feel some sort of disappointment, or anger, but strangely enough, I felt no different than I had five seconds ago. “I swear, I didn’t want to.”

“They came out and helped me,” Michonne clarified.

“Are you all right?” Michonne nodded.

“What happened in there?” Maggie asked, diverting the focus of the conversation.

Rick stuttered for a while, trying to find the right way to phrase this. I could tell he didn’t want to cause a panic before things were certain, but at the same time, it was important to let them know something was happening.

“Patrick got sick last night. It’s some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block.” I noticed Rick look over at me out of the corner of my eye before he shifted his focus back to his son. “Look, I know he was your friend, and I’m sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people.” He averted his gaze up to Maggie. “Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there. You shouldn’t get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while.” I watched Carl back up slightly, realizing he may have put himself in danger by hugging his dad. “Carl. All of you.”

Carl made his way back to Michonne and Maggie, looping her arm back around his shoulder to help her back into the building. I remained glued to the wall, attempting to process everything. Whatever Patrick had killed him overnight, and now, myself and those I considered family had been exposed as well. All of us were in danger.

“What are we gonna do?” I whispered, keeping my eyes downcast. For a moment, I wanted to ask if things were okay, but I already knew the answer to that wasn’t going to be one that reassured him.

“We’ll figure that out, okay?” He crouched down, trying to get me to look at him. “I promise, we’re going to make sure everyone keeps as safe as they can.”

Although I nodded, I felt no more reassured. We were in for something dangerous, I could feel it.


	27. Chapter 27

It felt strange, trying to be conscious of everything I did. Every itch on my face, I couldn’t scratch, every person I wanted to speak to, I had to stay back from, or avoid interacting with altogether. Carefully, I made my way through the hallway, keeping a distance from anyone that happened to pass by. My hands remained glued together, attempting to hide the fact they were trembling like an earthquake was ripping through them. I caught a few stares, but I couldn’t tell if they were just watching me walk, or they knew I could infect them with something much scarier than what already laid in wait within us. Though those exhibiting symptoms had already been isolated down into the tombs, I swore I could still hear them coughing. It bounced off the cement walls, echoing and threatening to drive me out of my mind. They remained a reminder I wasn’t safe, not by a long shot, and I shouldn’t trick myself into thinking otherwise.

A couple of days ago, Tyreese had found Carol and David—two people who had come here from Woodbury—burnt in one of the courtyards. No one had figured out who did it, but Tyreese had apparently lost his shit. It’s not that it wasn’t understandable, but the last thing we needed right now was people turning on each other. Rick had said that whoever did it likely wanted to control the spread, but that hadn’t worked. The numbers kept on increasing, to the point where almost everyone had been forced into Cell Block A, or some other form of quarantine. The kids and Hershel had been sent to the Warden’s office, and because of my potential exposure, they’d stuck me in my own room, away from everyone else. Usually, Rick would come by to deliver my food, so the other kids would risk being exposed. Our conversations would be short, he had a lot to get done, but I could hear the other people who got visitors. Every time it happened, I felt this ache in my chest, like someone had reached in and squeezed my trachea. Especially most recently, when I heard Maggie tell Beth that Glenn had caught whatever the illness was.

I’d lost count of the days by this point, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d have to be stuck there. I’d found a sort of game in counting the amount of times people passed by my room, but today, things had been oddly silent. Hershel had gone by this morning, at the usual time he left to go help, but that was it. It almost felt like some sort of omen.

I’d just decided to lay down for a nap—because what else was there for me to do, trapped in isolation—when there was a sudden, loud bang that shook the walls. I shot up from my bed and threw the door open, along with the rest of us kids trapped here. My instinct was to go and get Judith, but I still couldn’t be trusted not to infect her, so instead, I just ran out the door. Maggie, Beth, Carl, Bob, Rick, Daryl, and Tyreese had already gathered by the fence. I pushed and squeezed my way through the group, no longer caring about potential infections. On the very end of the yard stood a large armada of tanks and cars, aimed right at us. On top of one of the tanks stood a familiar figure, one we’d certainly had in the back of our minds, but hadn’t been actively worrying about. My blood turned to ice, remembering what happened the last time we’d clashed with him, before I moved my hand to my back, where my pole sat secured.

“Rick!” the Governor shouted. “Come down here. We need to talk.”

Everything suspended for a moment, as a seemingly endless silence fell over everything. I backed up slightly, trying to get behind in case of an impact. I wouldn’t be able to do much good if fighting broke out, given I couldn’t and wouldn’t shoot a gun, but maybe I could help other people get out of here, in case that was needed.

“It’s not up to me!” Rick replied. “There’s a council now. They run this place.”

“Is Hershel on the council.”

He gestured his arm downward, and a woman lowered her gun before making her way over to a red car. She opened up the back door and grabbed onto something, then yanked it out. My jaw dropped as Hershel walked in front of the tank and was forced to kneel. Maggie and Beth cried out in horror, watching as their father submitted to the will of this psycho.

“What about Michonne? She on the council, too?” Michonne was forced down the same walk and crouched right next to Hershel.

“I don’t make the decisions anymore.” I gawked a bit, unable to believe Rick’s words. Daryl was the only member of the council who could currently do anything, and he was still trying to relegate control.

“You’re making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let’s have that talk.” 

No one moved, no eyes wandered. It could all be lost. Rick could go down there, and the Governor would kill Hershel and Michonne, just as a show of power. But if he didn’t move, there was no doubt they’d lose their lives. We needed to prepare for a fight, yet we all stood here in awe.

Finally, Rick cast a glance at Daryl, silently asking for approval. He nodded, and before Rick met the Governor halfway, he turned to Carl and whispered something to him. For a moment, our eyes met, but this time, I didn’t look away. Right now, there were things more important than our little fights. Besides, should this take a turn, people would have to be shot. It would have to be done.

Whatever they talked about, I couldn’t hear. But none of us were really given the chance to try and figure it out. Almost immediately, the adults began to plot an escape.

“We can’t take ‘em all on,” Daryl muttered. “We’ll go through the Admin building, through the woods like we planned. We ain’t got the numbers no more. When’s the last time someone checked the stash on the bus?”

“Day before we hit the Big Spot,” Sasha sighed. “We were running low on rations then. We’re lower now.”

“Yeah, we’ll manage. Things go south, everyone heads for that bus. Let everybody know.”

“What if everybody doesn’t know when things go south? How long do we wait?” Tyresse asked. It was a legitimate question, considering how many people were isolated right now. Hell, last I’d heard, Carol was looking after all of them down there. She was valuable, but if she didn’t come out when the explosion hit, she wasn’t going to know if people started firing at each other.

“As long as we can.”

Daryl began to hand out the guns we kept stored in a laundry cart, trying his best to keep the distribution subtle. When he made his way to me, I hesitated a moment, debating whether or not to take it. But when my eyes rested on the weapon, I just couldn’t do it.

“I’ll help get people out,” I whispered. He furrowed his brow at me for a moment, but slowly nodded.

“Give this to Carl, then.”

He almost seemed to be testing me. With slight hesitance, I took the gun from his hands and wandered over to the boy I hadn’t spoken to in months. His eyes widened when he noticed me standing in front of him and actually looking at him willingly, rather than immediately casting my gaze away. Slowly, he took the weapon from my hands, and he nodded at me in thanks. Once the transaction had been successfully completed, I backed up, getting closer to the prison, while everyone with guns took their positions against the fence.

I flinched as the Governor shot at a couple of Walkers that had wandered their way into the field. The sound of the gunfire would just bring more, and the fences were already collapsing. It would only be a matter of time before we were overwhelmed by the undead, and if that were combined with fire from the Governor and his people, none of us would be making it out of this. At the same time, we already knew what he wanted: the prison. It was what he’d fought for the first time, and I’m sure nothing had changed. We couldn’t just leave this place, not with Judith and all those sick people to take care of. Without somewhere to live, they wouldn’t make it.

Then, something Rick said seemed to strike something with the Governor. For a split second, it almost seemed like this matter might be resolved, until the latter’s face contorted, and he jumped down from his perch. Violently, he ripped Michonne’s sword from its sheath and held it against Hershel’s neck. My fists clenched at the silent threat.

On the other hand, the people fighting for him seemed changed for the better. Their posture’s relaxed, and some of them even moved to put down their weapons. If Rick couldn’t break the Governor, at the very least, maybe his men and women wouldn’t fight for him. 

Finally, the Governor’s expression fell, and it almost looked as though he might actually give in to whatever Rick’s terms were. Slowly, he moved the sword away from Hershel, and lowered it a bit, taking on a much more passive stance. The sun against the glimmering metal cast a powerful glare over his face.

_Hack!_

The world seemed to stop as, out of the blue, the Governor took a swing, creating a deep, dark red gash in Hershel’s neck. His eyes went blank as his body involuntarily collapsed onto the grass. A small blow like that wouldn’t have killed him immediately, but he didn’t even cry out. He took the blow as it was, not even flinching. Despite his age, he was the strongest out of all of us.

As immediately as Hershel was hit, the gunfire began. Multitudes of shots fired between both sides as Michonne rolled out of the way and Rick ran to take cover behind a bus. My mind immediately flashed to the other kids, who were likely still trapped inside the Administration building. _Judith_ was likely still trapped in there.

Screw the risk of infection. It had been weeks, nothing had happened. I needed to get Judith and the other kids and get them to the bus.

Without a word to the others, I turned on my heel and sprinted back to the building that had felt more like a prison than the actual one for the past few weeks. I’d just dashed around the side, when I nearly crashed into a small, blonde figure. She screamed a little, then backed up, eyes wide as she looked up at me.

“Mica!” I sighed, thankful she was okay. “Oh, thank God.” My eyes wandered up, and I felt another weight lift off my shoulders at the sight of Lizzie holding Judith’s carrier. She fussed inside, confused and alarmed by the loud noises and bustling bodies. “Here, Lizzie, give me Judith.” I crouched down and tried to remove the baby girl from the car seat, but Lizzie swung her arm away a little. “Lizzie.”

“We should bring her in the carrier.” Something about the look in Lizzie’s eyes unsettled me.

“No, it’s just going to weigh us down. Now, come on, we need to get her out of there and get on the bus.” Before she could react, I reached into the carrier and held Judith against my chest, whispering to her to try to calm her down. I turned on my heel just in time to see the grey bus pull away from the lot, leaving with our chance at a fast escape. “Shit…”

“Annah, what do we do now?” Mica whined, tears starting to brim in her eyes. I glanced back and forth between the two of them, then looked down at Judith, still pressed tightly against my chest.

“I… I need to find Carl and Rick. They need to know Judith’s okay.”

“Annah.” I darted my eyes up as Tyreese approached the four of us, just as distressed as the rest of us. “We got to get out of here.” I shook my head violently.

“No, no, I have to get to Carl and Rick. I need to—please—“ I begged, my throat ripped raw as I screamed.

“We have to _go_.”

He grabbed onto my other arm and started to drag me away as Lizzie and Mica ran in the wrong direction. He called out to them, but it all rang as white noise in my ears. Thoughts began to reverberate in my head, convincing me of the worst. Judith might be the last one of their family left.

Once we were deep into the woods, Tyreese tried to reach out and take Judith from my hands. The second I registered what was going on, I jumped away from his grip, glaring daggers at him.

I had to protect her. No matter what.


	28. Chapter 28

I gently bounced my arms up and down, attempting to get Judith to stop crying. Credit where it was due, this kid had lungs of steel. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been walking, but she’d been screaming and sobbing for the majority of it. Not that I blamed her—she definitely needed her father, and we had no idea where he was. I figured, at some point, we’d run into at least a few of the others, but there hadn’t even been a single Walker in our path. There was something eerie about the stillness, the only thing that interrupted that was Judith’s wails. I had just fed and changed her, so at this point, it was likely the constant movement that kept her from sleeping.

Lizzie and Mica slapped away the brush in front of us to clear the way, while Tyreese navigated to wherever we were going. I don’t think any of us had a goal at this point, we were just going to walk until we found somewhere to live. But sooner or later, we’d run out of formula and diapers, and we’d need to go on a run or find some sort of civilization.

I still refused to let anyone else care for Judith. I felt this intense urge to protect and love her, one that seemingly came out of nowhere. The thought of losing her, too, immediately caused my heart to race. She was the last remaining piece of that family, but something ran deeper than that… I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Sure, around the prison, I’d cared for Judith. It’s not like I didn’t love her and treat her like she was family; everything was just more intense now.

My attention was snapped away from my own thoughts when I heard one of the girls, most likely Mica, sniffling as she walked. For a moment, I wanted to catch up to her and try to reassure her, but her sister beat me to the punch.

“Don’t cry.” Strangely, there was something biting about the way Lizzie spoke to Mica.

“I want Carol,” Mica whined in response, her voice trembling as she gasped a little.

“Well, she’s not here.” Lizzie reached in to the bag and removed a knife, kept safe within a leather sheath. “Here, put this on your belt.

I furrowed my brow, staring at the back of Lizzie’s head with confusion. Sure, both of these girls were still young, but Lizzie had to have some sort of understanding of how to deal with someone in distress at this point. Maybe I expected a little too much from her, given the environment she’d grown up in, but I just found it strange that in this moment when her little sister needed comfort, she just made a harsh statement of reality and moved on.

“It’s gonna get dark soon. Where are we going?”

Tyreese finally stopped pushing ahead and seemed to come back to reality, turning around and blinking at the three of us for a moment before registering what Lizzie had asked him. Even then, he wouldn’t really look at them.

“Further,” he answered shortly. “Come on.”

It wasn’t the answer any of us wanted to hear, but with the situation we were in, it would have to do for now. There wasn’t any goal of our walking, other than maybe find some of the others, if they were even alive at this point.

As we started walking again, I moved a little faster, catching up with Mica. She smiled up at me, at least with as much if a smile as she could muster, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, trying my best to reassure her in the way her sister couldn’t. Lizzie and I were close to the same age—it still amazed me how cold she could be.

“Is everybody dead?” she suddenly asked me, her sullen expression returning to her face. I stuttered for a moment, unsure of how to answer that, before deciding to go as honest as I could, without upsetting her even more.

“I don’t know, Mica. But I’d like to think they’re still alive and out there looking for us, just like we are for them.” I hugged her a little tighter. “I’m sure we’ll eventually run into someone.”

Almost immediately, Mica moved on from that topic, seeming to enjoy the fact she was having a conversation that wasn’t short and to the point.

“Why’d you hate Carl?”

My eyes widened, and for a second, I stopped walking. She’d caught me completely off-guard, and in all honesty, it was something I hadn’t even thought about since we’d run. All the reasons I’d ignored him suddenly just seemed so stupid and unimportant, and now, all I hoped was that he, Rick, and Michonne were alive.

“Well, I—I wouldn’t say that I _hated_ him, I just… got mad at him for a while.”

I had to remind myself Mica hadn’t been with us for a while, so she had no way of knowing that there was a time when Carl and I were close friends, and in all honesty, there was a time when I had even liked him.

“He did something that was really upsetting to me, that’s all.” She raised her eyebrows, urging me to continue. How was this little girl so much more mature than her sister? “He shot a guy—a guy who was surrendering. It made me really upset, and every time I looked at him, I just thought of that guy he shot, so I sort of… avoided him for a while. But I could never hate him.”

“Why not? That sounds really bad.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“That’s a little too complicated to explain,” I sighed. “Especially because I’m still trying to get a grasp on everything myself.”

At this point, the sun had almost completely set, so Tyreese led us a little deeper into the woods until we found a clearing, and we decided to set up camp for the night. After a fire had been

lit, everyone started tending to what they needed to for the night. We’d need a moment before we went out to search for food, of course, but it was nice to think we’d be eating soon. Tyreese wrapped some cloth around a wound he’d obtained while everyone was running for their lives, while I held Judith in my arms, bouncing her slightly. She actually seemed calm for a while, but after only a few minutes, she began to cry loudly again, cutting through the silence of the night.

“They’re gonna hear her,” Mica hissed as I pressed Judith against my chest, trying to comfort her.

“We shouldn’t be out here,” Lizzie criticized.

“We’ll find a safe place soon,” Tyreese tried to reassure her. “We will.”

“Hand me the bottle, Lizzie,” I ordered, pulling Judith away from me a little, cradling her in my arms as Lizzie got up and reached into the bag, pulled out the bottle with formula in it, and handed it to me. Immediately, I guided it into Judith’s mouth, and she fell silent.

Thought everything seemed calm for a moment, leaves suddenly rustled, causing Mica to jump and reach out, shaking Tyreese’s arm.

“Walkers!” Thought I couldn’t see anything when I glanced around, that didn’t mean they weren’t shambling their way closer.

“Here, come on.” Tyreese helped Mica to her feet, and Lizzie snatched up the bag, following quickly behind the rest of us. “It’s okay. I’ll find you something to eat.”

Off we went again, I suppose.


	29. Chapter 29

I tried my best not to stumble as we pushed on through the forest, still on the same walk we had started last night. I could feel the effects of no sleep and a lack of food, but there wasn’t much I could do about it at this point. We just had to keep moving and hope that eventually, we’d stumble across something to eat. Thankfully, Mica seemed a lot more alert than the rest of us were, and she rushed over to a bush with some fruits growing from it.

“Look, grapes,” she gasped. “Can we eat them?” Tyreese took a closer look at the grapes, then nodded.

“Yeah, they’re good.”

Mica reached out and plucked a large group of grapes from the bush, but after a moment of rolling the grapes around in her hand for a moment, she turned to her sister and placed them in her hands.

“Here, Lizzie. Have some.” I smiled as I watched the two of them. Mica seemed to always think of others before herself, something that was very mature for someone her age.

After passing the bunch she’d picked off to her sister, Mica grabbed some more off the bush and handed them to me, then took some for herself. As I ate, Judith began to fuss again, so I had to quickly pop the rest into my mouth so I had both hands free to comfort her.

“Shh… Come on, baby girl,” I cooed, trying to get her to calm down. I lifted her a little to adjust her in my arms, when an overwhelmingly unpleasant stench overwhelmed me. So _that’s_ what she needed. “Lizzie, hand me a diaper,” I requested, starting to move away from everyone else so I could change Judith. “All right, it’s okay. Bear with me, Judith.” Lizzie handed me a blanket and a diaper, and as quickly as possible, I replaced the unclean diaper with a fresh one.

“They’re gonna hear her,” Mica warned.

“You’re all right,” I whispered. “Come on.” Lizzie tossed the diaper into the woods, grimacing at the smell. Finally, Judith had been completely changed, and I picked her back up again. Still, she kept on crying. “It’s all right. I know. I know.” She started to calm a little as I rested her against my knee and patted her back. “All right, what do you want? What do you want, hmm? Shh. Shh. Come on. Shh…”

I jumped as Mika reached out and smacked my arm at the small rustling of leaves.

“They’re coming!”

“Ah! I heard it, Mica,” I shouted, still trying to get my heart to slow down.

“Don’t yell at her!” Lizzie barked. “She doesn’t understand Walkers.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand them!” Mica shot back.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of a choice. Neither Lizzie nor Mica was going to kill the Walkers, and there was no way Tyreese could take all of them on by himself. With slight hesitance, I set Judith down on the blanket I’d just used to change her and grabbed onto Lizzie and Mica’s shoulders.

“Watch the baby,” I ordered before stepping up close behind Tyreese.

Carefully, he inched toward the bushes, gripping the hammer he’d grabbed at some point tight in his hands. Slowly, he brushed the leaves aside, but instead of revealing a group of Walkers, a murder of crows flew out and startled us.

Mica, unfortunately, got a little too scared, and the moment the birds flew out, she jumped up and took off running into a clearing. Without thinking, I ran after her, leaving Lizzie and Tyreese to collect everything before they came after us. At first, I could just see her running down the path, but in just a second, I lost her somewhere in the bushes.

“Mica!” I shouted, trying to see if I could call her back out.

“She’s gone,” Lizzie shrugged, seemingly unconcerned that her sister was off somewhere by herself. “You yelled at her and now she’s gone.” Despite Lizzie’s pessimism, I wasn’t about to give up looking for her.

“Mica,” I called out again. “Mica.” Thankfully, as I stepped around the corner, I spotted the little blonde girl, hiding behind a tree. “Oh, thank God. Are you okay?”

“I got scared,” she admitted, averting her gaze down to her feet. Despite the scare she had just given all of us, I couldn’t be mad at her. I was just relieved she was okay.

“That’s okay,” Tyreese assured her, crouching down and meeting her eyes. “We all get scared. You did the right thing running.”

“What?” Lizzie sounded completely appalled at Tyreese’s statement. I rolled my eyes and lowered myself down as well, glaring at Lizzie.

“She did,” I hissed through my teeth, trying to get her to go along with this.

“You hear or you see a Walker, you run. But when you’re in a group, you got to try and stay close to them, okay?” Mica nodded, the smile finally returning to her face, then she reached out and pointed to the little scratch her nails had made on my arm.

“You’re bleeding,” she observed. “Did I hurt your arm bad?” I shook my head, smiling at her.

“No, it’s just a little scratch. See?” I held my arm out, showing her that there was only some surface blood. “No big deal.” Still, she looked regretful.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, looking down at her feet once again. “I know I’m not like Lizzie.”

“Don’t be sorry. You each do things your own way. But you both get it done.”

As I processed my own words, I hesitated for a moment, my mind once again going back to what Carl had done all that time ago. He just… had his own way of doing things. Just because I didn’t agree with it didn’t mean it was wrong. He just wanted to make sure everyone was as safe as possible.

“Like you and Carl?”

It’s like that girl read my mind.

“You’re not like Carl.” Lizzie’s statement was so snarky, it made me grimace.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re still here. Carl isn’t.”

Lizzie’s words stung as she smirked at the end of them. She seemed so sure of herself, to the point where I almost convinced myself, for a moment, that we knew for a fact that Carl was dead. My heart dropped into my stomach, and just for a split second, I felt myself struggling to breathe. I had to make a conscious effort to remind myself that we didn’t know whether he was alive or not, but I chose to think that he was.

Thankfully, before Lizzie could say anything else that might upset someone, a woman screamed in the distance. Tyreese quickly place Judith in Lizzie’s hands—though that worried me quite a bit—and placed the bag at her feet. 

“Here.”

“What are you doing?” Lizzie demanded.

“Come on.” He grabbed onto the girls’ arms and pulled them together, forcing them to stand back to back. “I’m making sure you can see in both directions. You stay like this and keep watch.” 

“You’re leaving us?” The panic in Mica’s voice began to rise as the woman screamed again.

“They could be from the prison,” Tyreese reasoned. “I need to help them.”

“We need you.”

“Mica, tuck your shirt behind your knife so it’s easier to grab.” At this point, Lizzie sounded exasperated. “We’ll be okay.”

“Okay. What do you do when you see a Walker?”

“Run,” both girls answered at the same time.

“Together, towards me. Only fire if you have to. You stay here until we get back, okay?”

“Please, please don’t go,” Mica begged, tears beginning to prick at the corners of her eyes. My heart softened, and I stepped around to stand in front of her.

“Mica, look at me. You can handle this. You’re tough.” Tyreese looked at them for another moment, then stood up straight turned to me.

“Annah, come on.” I nodded and started to follow him, then stopped and pointed at the girls.

“Protect Judith with your life,” I warned, more speaking to Lizzie than Mica.

With that taken care of, I ran after Tyreese, coming out at the edge of the woods where a set of train tracks ran down in a straight line. Beside them, in a divot created by the train tracks, a family had been overwhelmed by a small group of Walkers. It looked as though the woman that had been screaming- most likely the mother- had already been attacked and was now what a few of the undead were feasting on, while the older man and the son fought of the rest of the Walkers to the best of their ability.

“Chris, head for the woods!” the older man shouted.

“I can’t,” he cried as he managed to beat a Walker to the ground. That just wasn’t enough.

Tyreese and I rushed in different directions, trying to take down the Walkers overwhelming each of the people. It had been a while since I’d killed this many Walkers at once, and I’d almost forgotten how sickening the sound of rotting fleshing being struck was. One by one, they collapsed, but Tyreese’s efforts just weren’t enough, and the son got overwhelmed. A Walker managed to catch him off guard and bit down on his arm, tearing the flesh off in one swift motion. He cried out in pain, and I watched the color drain from the old man’s face.

“Aah! Dad!” the son cried out in pain.

“Christopher!” The dad tried to rush to his son, but I held an arm out, keeping him from getting bitten as well.

Just before Tyreese took down the last Walker, there was a gunshot from the woods, right where we had left Lizzie and Mica.

_Dammit_ , I mentally cursed. This was going downhill so fast.

In the second I’d become distracted, a Walker managed to sneak up on the father and bit down on his shoulder. My eyes widened, and completely on instinct, I swung out and hit the Walker, keeping it from completely consuming the man.

“Annahbelle. Tyresse.”

I halted completely at the sound of that voice. Maybe it wasn’t the one I had been hoping for, but it was certainly welcome right now. With trembling hands, I turned around to find a smiling Mica and Lizzie standing in front of Carol, who held Judith tight against herself. Positive emotions overwhelmed me, and without thinking, I ran to her and hugged her, relieved she was still alive.

Maybe the rest of them really _were_ out there after all.

“How-How did you find us?” Tyreese stuttered, staring at Carol in disbelief. Carefully, I reached over and took Judith from her, cradling the baby close to me. “Where were you? How’d you—“

Our attention was drawn away from Carol as the father sobbed from the ground, writing in agony from the bite he’d received. None of us moved for a moment, unsure of how to approach this, then Carol broke off from the rest of us and headed toward him.

“Stay here, girls.” He was still within earshot, so I could perfectly hear what he wanted to tell us.

“Stay on the tracks.” His voice was already growing hoarse, the energy leaving him. “That was my mistake.”

“But the woods have more cover,” Carol argued.

“No, you don’t understand. There’s a place up the tracks. It’s safe. You can take the children there. Trust me. Please.” Carol and Tyreese glanced at each other, but they didn’t make any effort to stop him. “Follow the tracks.”

Without a word, Carol and Tyreese grabbed onto Lizzie and Mica’s hands and led them toward the tracks, just like the man had said. Under normal circumstances, I would have walked along the rails and seen how long I’d be able to balance, but I didn’t want to risk that with Judith in my arms.

“Tyreese.” Mica sounded excited about whatever she was about to say, bringing a smile to my face. “I didn’t run. I didn’t leave Lizzie.”

“See that?” he chuckled. “Tough little lady.”

“Hey, there’s water in there.” Carol pointed to her bag, and Tyreese reached over and pulled it off her, reaching in to grab the food and distributing it to each of us.

“Here you go.” Once he’d finished, he zipped the bag back up and looked to Carol. “I didn’t see you get out. I thought you—“

“I wasn’t there. I hadn’t gotten back yet.”

I furrowed my brow, stopping mid-chew as I looked up at Carol. I’d been in that quarantine for so long, I’d never heard anything about Carol going missing or on some sort of run. Where had she gone?

“Rick and I found a car,” she explained. “He took what we had back to the prison while I…” She cut herself off, as though she remembered something she wasn’t supposed to share. “…kept looking.” Despite the suspicious hesitation, I hadn’t thought Carol would want to lie about something like that, so I shrugged and accepted it.

“Did you see it?” Tyreese asked. He didn’t have to say what it was, we all knew. Carol nodded a little.

“I saw the end. And then… I saw you running into the woods. You were far away. I lost you, but…”

“You found us,” Mica finished, smiling. As Carol began to walk again, Lizzie sped up to join her by her side.

“I knew you would.”

I shifted Judith a little in my arms and moved ahead of the rest of the group, trying to keep myself from getting too excited. This safe place that man talked about, and Carol being alive… I hoped we’d find everyone else. Maybe they were already waiting there for the rest of us, or they were on their way as well.

We hadn’t gotten much farther, when I noticed some strange writing on one of the signs along the train tracks. Before the world collapsed, they were there to give the history of the area and show the old routes, but I suppose now, their best use was to spread messages.

“Look,” I called back, bringing everyone else over to the sign. “’Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive.’” Beneath the words, the map had been marked with a large, black star, and the word ‘Terminus’ scrawled below it.

This wasn’t so hopeless after all.


	30. Chapter 30

My eyes forced themselves open as sunlight poked through the canopy of trees. Judith had remained completely silent through the night, and for some reason, I hadn’t been asked to keep watch at any point, so the thorough night’s sleep was certainly welcoming. I made sure to be careful as I sat up, taking care not to hurt Judith, as I slept with her pressed against my stomach. As I looked around, I noticed Carol and Lizzie up on a ledge, poking around in the trees, while Mica and Tyreese sat on the tracks, still trying to get their bearings.

We’d been walking for quite a few days, and the only indication we were going in the right direction were the copious amounts of Terminus signs, with each marked route growing shorter and shorter. But the further we got, they started to appear less, and now, we were at a point where we hadn’t seen any in a while. Still, we pressed on.

However, we’d had to stop for a while because Tyreese’s cut became infected, and he’d developed a low-grade fever, rendering him unable to go any further. Today, it seemed he was getting better, and when Carol and Lizzie returned with some sort of sap, he was able to sit up completely without grunting in pain or falling back down.

“Ow,” he hissed as Carol poured the sap neatly onto his wound.

“It hurts, right?” Carol asked, her voice delicate.

“Oh, yeah,” Tyreese laughed. “It hurts.”

“This will fight the infection. Might even bring down your fever.” She finished laying the sap down, then put her knife aside and pressed her hand against an area of his arm where the gash wasn’t.

“What do you think? Three days out? Four days?” My spirits brightened a little. Could we really be that close?

“We haven’t seen any of those maps at the crossings. I’m not sure.” Carol reached into her bag and pulled out a fresh bandage, beginning to wrap it around Tyreese’s wound.

“Lizzie’s tough,” Tyreese observed.

“When it comes to people.” I turned my head a little, watching Lizzie and Mica walk back and forth along the tracks.

“What do you mean?”

“How haven’t seen it?” Carol paused for a moment, as though waiting for Tyreese to answer. “How she’s confused about them, the Walkers. She doesn’t see what they are. She thinks they’re just different.”

I tried my best not to let out any noise as I processed Carol’s words. That explained pretty much everything about Lizzie, including her indifference toward the people we knew possibly being dead. I’m not sure how I missed it, but then again, I was a little busy trying to keep Judith safe to really pay attention to everything she was doing.

“Mica the same way?”

“No, she’s worse.” For a moment, I started to panic. What could possibly be worse? A full-blown serial killer? “She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

Strangely, Carol had a point. While Lizzie likely wouldn’t kill the Walkers, she had enough sense to get away from them if she needed to. Mica, on the other hand, would run without sense, and likely would end up in a herd, or worse. All the more reason, in my mind, to keep her safe.

Carol finished wrapping the bandage around Tyreese’s arm, and once the two of them packed everything up, we got moving again. I kept one eye on Tyreese, but he never seemed to wobble at all, meaning he at least was starting to get back to normal. Judith would probably need to be fed soon, but I’d make sure we got as far as we could before we had to stop again.

“Did _Tom Sawyer_ have a happy ending?” Mica asked, seemingly out of nowhere. “We never got to finish it.” That must have been the book Carol was reading to the kids.

“Well, Tom and Huck, they stop Injun Joe and his partner and wind up getting all his gold,” Carol explained.

“So they wind up rich?”

“Mm-hmm.” I could _hear_ the smile on Carol’s face. “And the Widow Douglas adopts Huck.”

“Like you adopted us?” Despite Mica’s cheerful tone, her question was shockingly dark, especially considering the contrast in the childish and imaginative world of _Tom Sawyer_ and the grim reality we were faced with.

“Yeah, just like the Widow Douglas.”

“And I’m Huck Finn!”

“I think you’re more like Tom Sawyer.” Once again, Lizzie’s biting words were hidden behind a kind and calm voice.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mica shrugged. “You’re way more like Huck Finn. You’re not even grossed out by dead rabbits.”

I furrowed my brow, shifting Judith in my arms. That was an oddly specific observation. When had they seen dead rabbits?

“Forgot you used to read to them,” Tyreese cut in, trying to divert the conversation.

“I did.”

That seemed to end the conversation where it stood, and everyone fell silent for a while, until Judith began to fuss. While ordinarily, I would have asked everyone to stop and we’d take a break, but no one really seemed to be discouraged or deterred at all from continuing on.

“Hey, Carol, can you pass me a bottle?” I asked, speeding up a little so I could get within arms’ reach. She turned her torso slightly and removed the fresh bottle of formula, handing it to me so I could feed Judith. After a moment of watching me take care of Judith, the smile returned to her face.

“You’ve really done a great job taking care of her, Annah.” I nodded, still smiling down at Judith.

“Thanks. I… I don’t know. I can’t explain what makes me want to protect her so badly, I just… do.” I laughed a little. “I’ve been a little reluctant to let anyone else hold her.”

“Well, she’s family. Even if you’re not actually related, she’s what you’ve got.” I shrugged as Judith released the bottle, indicating she was full.

“I guess so.” I placed the bottle back in the bag and hoisted Judith up on my shoulder and began to pat her back. “I just hope the rest of her family is okay, too.” Carol’s smile turned to a little smirk.

“Even Carl?” I scoffed, trying my best to seem annoyed at her questioning.

“Yes, even Carl.”

For a moment, our smiles lingered, and I tried to ignore the fact that, in some aspect, Carol had been right, and she completely knew it. That was, until a strange smell permeated the air, forcing all of us to hesitate for a moment.

“You smell that?” Carol asked, turning to look at Tyreese.

“Yeah. There’s a fire somewhere.” I looked around the skyline, above the trees, but I couldn’t see any sort of smoke, even a few stray plumes.

“Must be a big one. It isn’t anywhere around here,” I observed, using one hand to gesture to the sky.

“We should stop here,” Carol suggested, nodding toward the tracks in front of us. “We need to look for water.” She started to take the bag she was wearing off, when Tyreese spoke up.

“I can do it.”

For a moment, Carol hesitated, legitimately considering his suggestion, but it only lasted for a moment. She wasn’t the sort to just pass off responsibilities like that, so it seemed strange that she would even consider letting Tyreese do a task she’d already set her mind to.

“No, you need rest. Rest your arm. Mica will help me.”

Mica turned around at the mention on her name, appearing a little shocked that Carol thought of her to go and hunt for water, rather than Lizzie or myself. She didn’t seem to understand what exactly Carol wanted, but I could tell. She didn’t want a repeat of what happened to her daughter…

Once we settled into a clearing, I began to bounce Judith on my knees, smiling and playing little games (mainly peek-a-boo) to keep her from getting cranky, while Lizzie and Tyreese distracted themselves with a much longer game of ‘I Spy’. Lizzie closed her eyes for a moment, trying to figure out something Tyreese hadn’t named yet, then smiled a little.

“I spy trees and weeds.” She smiled up at him, but something about the look in her eyes seemed… strange. Maybe I was just seeing things, after what Carol said this morning. “Your turn.”

Tyreese looked down the tracks to try and find something else to name, but their game was interrupted by the sight of a Walker, shambling its way toward us. It was still some ways away, but if we didn’t deal with it now, it would somehow sneak up on us and cause a problem later, when we least were expecting it. Tyreese shifted to get up and deal with it, but he could risk injuring his arm again or splitting open the wound, which would set us back further. Not to mention, it could kill him if the Walker didn’t.

“I can take care of it, Tyreese.” He opened his mouth to protest, but I was already setting Judith in his lap. “Here.” I looked down at Lizzie as I removed my pole from its sheath on my back. “You stay here.”

I’d have to be careful, just in case there were others behind it or in the bushes, but at the moment, it appeared to be alone, which made things a little easier. I took quiet, careful steps toward it, hoping it wouldn’t see me until I got just close enough to kill it. Thankfully, some tree branches had fallen, and I was able to hide behind them as I moved, obstructing the Walker’s view of me and making it easier to sneak up on it.

Just before I reached it, it tripped on a piece of the track that had come out of the ground slightly, and got its leg stuck, keeping it from getting back up. Ideally, I could just leave it there, since it couldn’t get to us anymore, but there was a chance that someone else could come across it and not realize it was there, and they’d end up getting bit. And if it was someone from our group, trying to reach Terminus…

I raised my arms, but before I swing and make impact, a voice called out to me.

“Annah.” I rolled my eyes before turning around, seeing Lizzie standing there and glancing down at the Walker. “Sometimes we have to kill them. I know that. But sometimes, we don’t.”

I gawked at her in disbelief. I know Carol said she didn’t understand, but this was absurd. How could she not even tell that they posed a danger to people, even if they were downed? I so desperately wanted to kill the thing anyways, but I’m sure Lizzie would scream, and that would just draw more in our direction and then we’d have a much bigger threat on our hands. So, despite my better judgement, I lowered my weapon and agreed to walk away.

However, I was starting to get real sick of her shit. All I could do was remind myself that she didn’t understand, and pray that was enough to keep me calm.

We returned to the spot where we’d camped out to find Carol and Mica had already returned, and Tyreese was beginning to pack everything up. I attached to pole to my back again and accepted Judith from Tyreese’s arms.

“You find water already?” I asked, amazing at how quick that run had been.

“Even better!” Mica exclaimed, jumping on the tips of her toes from excitement. “But you have to follow us to find out.”

I chuckled, finding her energy and optimism infectious. The deeper Lizzie got into this delusion that the Walkers were just different, the more apparent the contrast between her and her sister became. At this point, it honestly was welcome and refreshing.

“Well then, Mica, lead the way,” I encouraged. “Oh, but be careful!”

It wasn’t that far of a walk to where they wanted to take us, and even if it had been, what they’d found was worth it. The trees cleared out to reveal a small grove, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, fenced off and guarding a small cabin. Small shells of nuts scattered the ground, and I was fairly certain I could see a well right near the home.

This was perfect oasis to rest at for a couple of days, as a way to recuperate before we headed to Terminus

“What are these?” Mica asked, pointing down at the shells littering the grass.

“Pecans.” Mica reached down and scooped up a few, stuffing them into the pocket in her skirt.

“Oh, I love pecans,” she declared, picking up a few more just for the hell of it.

“You know, maybe we could catch our breath here for a while.” I tried my best to hide my surprise. I never thought I hear Carol suggest resting for more than an evening, but here she was, agreeing with what I had been thinking… not that she had any way of knowing that was my thought process. Still, it was strange hearing her want to take it easy for a while.

“We’re still going to Terminus, right?” Mica asked as Carol pulled up one of the fence posts so that we could pass through to the house.

“We’ll just stay a day or two. There’s a well full of water.”

“Fences,” Tyreese added. “Not much, but they’re something.”

“And we saw a dear,” Carol informed those of us that weren’t there when this place was discovered. “They eat pecans. We should be able to kill one to eat.”

“We can eat these, too, right?” Mica held up some more pecans she had just picked up, showing them to us like a badge of honor.

“You can eat your fill, and then some.”

“Look.”

We all followed the direction of Lizzie’s point, shocked to find a large pillar of smoke, stretching up from somewhere along the horizon. It was still dark grey, meaning the fire was still going strong. That could be a serious danger, but I couldn’t tell how far away it was. Besides, maybe it could kill the Walkers that came through.

“Bet that’s what we’re smelling.”

“Looks far enough away,” Carol shrugged.

“I wonder how it started.” Mica continued to stare at the pillar of smoke.

“Maybe lightning,” Tyreese suggested. “Maybe a campfire.” With that, we all turned away and headed toward the cabin. “I can patch that fence.” 

“It’s probably where all the deer are coming from. We should leave it. Just play it really safe in here,” Carol warned.

Of course, we couldn’t just go in and settle down in the place before making sure all the Walkers were taken care of. I waited on a bench outside with Lizzie, Mica, and Judith, while Tyreese and Carol stepped up to the door. The latter knocked on it, then waited a few moments before opening the door.

“If there’s one in there, it’s not moving much,” she whispered, peering around the corner into the darkened house. “Let’s just stay close, go room to room. Girls, you sit tight. You don’t come in until we come out, no matter what you hear. Annah, keep her safe.” I nodded, holding Judith a little closer to me.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Lizzie sounded far more reluctant, but at least she agreed to stay here.

“Mica, get your gun. You’re gonna need to stand watch.” Mica stood and pulled out her gun, staring out into the field. Her sister looked like she was going to be sick to her stomach, too busy worrying about Carol and Tyreese killing the Walkers to realize her younger sister had been asked to keep watch instead of her.

“Stand strong, little lady,” Tyreese encouraged just before they entered the house. Everything fell silent, and I continued to comfort Judith, making sure she wouldn’t cry and lure Walkers in from beyond the field.

“They’re gonna be okay,” Mica assured her sister. She remained quiet for a moment, refusing to look at either of us when she finally spoke.

“It’s not that,” Lizzie muttered. I decided to follow her gaze, and spotted a set of graves, one with baby shoes hanging from the cross. 

“Is it that there was a baby?”

“No.” Her breathing began to speed up the more her thoughts circulated within her mind. “They’re gonna find one in there and they’re going to—“

“Stop it!” Mica snapped. I whipped my head over to stare at her, shocked she had the ability to be so stern in her. “They aren’t people.”

“But you’re wrong. All of you.”

The assured calmness in Lizzie’s voice sent chills down my spine. Something else was wrong with this girl, beyond not understanding. I wonder if Carol saw it, too.

“They aren’t people, Lizzie. They’re just dead.”

Snarling from behind us caused me to jump up and back away as a Walker came tumbling over the railing. Mica and Lizzie both screamed, and as the latter fell on her ass, the former held up her gun without hesitance and began to shoot at it. Her hands were shaking, impairing her aim slightly, but she still managed to hit the chest of the Walker.

“Stop!” Lizzie screamed, begging with her sister. “Stop! Stop!” Thankfully, the door to the house swung open, and Tyreese fired a shot from the threshold that hit the Walker dead in its brain. Lizzie burst into panicked tears and began to hyperventilate as Carol and Tyreese rushed over to check on us. Gently, Carol reached down and pulled Lizzie up to her feet, trying to help her.

“Are you okay?” Lizzie was too deep in her spiral to be able to answer. “All right, come on. Come on.” She shifted her attention to Mica, who remained frozen with her gun aimed at the dead Walker. “Mica. Mica, lower the gun. You did it. You saved them.”

“Hell yeah, you did,” I said with a smile.

“Why are you upset, Lizzie? Were you scared?”

“No,” she managed to gasp out.

“Then why are you crying?” Lizzie remained silent for another moment, slowing getting a hold of herself.

“I don’t want to say,” she muttered. Carol tried to speak again, but before she could, Lizzie pulled away from her and ran, collapsing into a chair in front of some potted flowers. Mica followed a moment later and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder.

“Lizzie.” She managed to get her sister to look up at her. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. Just look at the flowers, like you’re supposed to. Count one, two, three. Come on, let’s count together. Look at the pink ones over there. You see? One, two, three.”

Carol looked at me curiously, and I shook my head before turning on my heel and heading into the cabin.


	31. Chapter 31

The crackling fire provided some comfort as I attempted to unwind from the stressful events of earlier today. Judith laid down on a blanket in front of me, her hands grasping my fingers as she sucked on one of her pacifiers. Every now and then, I’d smile and lean down, touching our noses before going back up and letting out an exaggerated gasp, causing her to giggle a little. Tyreese had gone to lay down for a while, Mica was off exploring the rooms, and Carol and Lizzie sat at the table to my right, doing a puzzle while the former cracked pecans to get them out of their shells.

“You still upset?” Carol asked quietly. Lizzie hesitated a moment before answering, as though trying to find the right words.

“Sometimes I don’t understand, but I’m trying to, ma’am. I am.”

It was so strange. Lizzie sounded so genuine now, but when she started to fall down the hole in her mind, she seemed almost merciless.

My attention was directed away as Mica came running into the room, holding an old rag doll in her hands.

“Look what I found,” she giggled. “I’m gonna name her Griselda Gunderson.”

Mica smiled at me and took a seat beside Judith and I, moving her doll along the floor as though she were walking. I returned the expression on the little girl’s face for a moment, then fell more serious when Tyreese entered the room.

“Well, we’ve got plenty of water. Now all we got to do is bag one of them deer and we’re all set.”

“Then we’ll get one,” Carol stated optimistically.

“Yeah.” Tyreese looked over everything, a strange expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Mica asked, setting her doll down. Tyreese shook his head.

“I’m not used to this,” he admitted.

“Used to what?”

“We’re in a living room in a house.”

“Yeah, so relax.”

I laughed a little at Mica. Tyreese seemed a little hesitant to follow her instructions, but once he did, he completely melted into the chair he’d sat in, removing his beanie. To his right, there was an old magazine on the floor, seemingly abandoned in a moment’s noticed based on the way the pages were spread out. This was probably the calmest we’d been so far, and I couldn’t remember the last time I wasn’t constantly checking around for Walkers.

“We should live here.”

Strangely, no one opposed Mica’s suggestion. For a moment, I wanted to agree, but the moment I looked down at Judith, I knew that wasn’t something that could be done. She needed to be with her family, if they were alive. Her dad was probably worried sick, or grieving unnecessarily. I just didn’t want to say anything yet.

I threw myself out of bed as a tea kettle continued to whistle loudly. It’d been going on for a few minutes at this point, and I’d had enough. The rest of the day had been fairly uneventful, so I guess it was a plus that this was the only thing that required quick action. I didn’t bother to throw my shoes on as I sprinted down into the kitchen and switched the stove off, causing the whistling to grow quieter until it completely came to a stop.

With that taken care of, I was about to turn and leave, when I looked out the window and spotted Lizzie shouting at Carol over a dead Walker. Slowly, I crept a little closer, and I could hear Lizzie’s angry shouting as she gesticulated toward the body on the ground.

“She didn’t want to hurt anybody!” she screamed. “She was my friend and you killed her! You killed her! You killed her! She was my friend.”

After finishing her screaming fit, Lizzie collapsed onto her knees and began to sob, crumpling up and hiding in her arms. Slowly, I backed away from the window, heading toward the living room to check on Judith. I felt like I peered in on something I wasn’t meant to see, and part of me wished I had just walked away before I heard Lizzie shouting. Judith fussed a little as I picked her up, but at the moment, I just needed some form of comfort, and taking care of Judith always made me feel better.

That girl… I always knew there was something weird about her, but this completely blew away everything I’d assumed. Her screaming made me think that if it weren’t Carol, she might have killed whoever did that, which scared the absolute shit out of me.

Strange to think that in a world where the undead roamed freely, the people were the scariest things.

I always thought I’d adjusted well to a changing environment, but this… this was _too_ different. I wanted to desperately go back to the days of the prison, before any of the people from Woodbury had come. Sure, people like Tyreese, Sasha, and Patrick were great additions, but the people who were like Lizzie, because I knew she wasn’t the only one… the thought of it made me shudder.

Following that episode, Carol was gone for a while, and it wasn’t until I heard screaming and gunshots from outside the house that I got up and ran outside. My eyes widened as blackened Walkers with cracked skin and smoke drifting off their bodies shambled closer to the house at an alarming rate. They must have come from the fire and made their way in this direction for some reason. Though Carol and Tyreese managed to shoot most of them down, one of them flipped over the fence, so I charged forward and slammed my heel down on its head. That was the last one that needed to go, and when I turned around, I saw Lizzie lowering her gun.

What in the hell…? How could she be so back and forth?

Only a few seconds later, Lizzie began to whine, so Carol pulled her into a hug and whispered to her, trying to comfort the distressed girl. While everyone else went back toward the house, I lingered for another moment, staring at the collapsed bodies before following everyone else back into the house. They decided to congregate in the living room, but I retreated upstairs, laying in my bed for the rest of the day, until I eventually fell asleep long after the sun had set.

I’d stayed cooped up in this cabin for too long. Everyone else had gone off to get food or play in the yard, and I started to feel cooped up in this place. For a moment, I considered leaving Judith behind for a little while, but it might be nice to let her come outside with me. Sure she was just a baby, but she could appreciate fresh air… right? Regardless, I’d be less stressed if she were with me anyways, even if there was no immediate threat on the grounds.

At least, that’s what I hoped.

I made my way down the stairs and toward Judith’s crib in the living room, but strangely enough, she wasn’t there. Carol hadn’t said anything about taking her with them to hunt, and Lizzie and Mica had gone outside without her. I’d thought I’d heard the door open and shut at one point, but I thought I had imagined it. I guess one of the girls came in to get her.

The thought of Judith in the care of Lizzie made me incredibly anxious. It was better to at least go and check on her, even though she was likely just fine. Judith couldn’t kill Walkers, after all.

My heart stopped as I rounded the corner toward the shed, however. Judith sat on a blanket, unharmed, but a little distressed… not that she was crying for no reason.

Lizzie stood above her, a twisted sort of smile on her face. Her twitching hands her coated in bright red blood, which occasionally dripped down onto the body below her. Mica’s body remained unmoving next to her sister’s feet, her blood running down onto the dirt below. I knew Lizzie was unstable and could potentially harm someone, but never did I think it would be her own sister.

I could feel all that I’d eaten that day trying to come back up, but I had to push it back down and force myself to move. Thankfully, Tyreese and Carol came back from hunting at that moment. It only took them a second to register what had happened, before they ran over, giving me the strength to as well.

“Don’t worry. She’ll come back,” Lizzie tried to assure us. There was that calm tone again. “I didn’t hurt her brain.”

My eyes remained glued to Judith as we all stood there, unable to find the right words at the moment. Instead of speaking, Carol simply tried to reach out and grab Lizzie’s knife, but the girl immediately dropped it and removed her gun from its holster, pointing it straight at Carol’s chest. I could hear my heartbeat hammering in my ears, causing my entire head to feel as though it were pounding.

“No, no, no! We have to wait,” she ordered. “I need to show you. You’ll see. You’ll finally get it. We have to wait.”

“Lizzie, put the gun down.” Tyreese’s words barely left his throat, sounding as though they scratched it up on the way out.

“I just want us to wait.” Carol stuttered for a moment, attempting to catch her breath.

“We can wait,” she finally whispered. “We can wait. You just give me the gun. We can wait, I swear.”

Though Lizzie’s hands still trembled with anticipation, she slowly gave in to Carol’s request and placed the gun in her hands before backing up, standing guard by her sister’s corpse.

“You, Annah, and Tyreese should take Judith back,” Carol suggested. “It’s not safe for her.”

“But Judith can change, too.” I felt the air leave my lungs. I had to think of something _fast_ to save that little girl. “I was just about to—“

“She can’t even walk yet.” My voice cracked a little as the words left my throat, drawing Lizzie’s attention in my direction. Thankfully, Lizzie seemed to agree with the bullshit logic I managed to spout out and nodded.

“You’re right.” Slowly, I made my way over to pick up Judith, taking care not to make any sudden movements that could startle Lizzie and make her snap again.

“So you three take Judith back to the house and we’ll have lunch. And I’ll just tie Mica up. You know, just so she won’t go anywhere.” Lizzie fell for that as well, much to my relief.

“Promise that’s what you’ll do?”

“Mm-hmm. I promise. I’ll use her shoelaces.”

Carol looked to Tyreese, who remained frozen for a moment, unsure of whether to move or not, before slowly approaching Lizzie and taking her hand. I held Judith as tight against my chest as I could, protecting her as she began to cry again.

“Let’s- let’s go, Lizzie,” Tyreese stuttered, leading her into the house.

As I turned away, I met eyes with Carol, who tried to nod and offer me some sort of reassurance. I held everything back as best as I could, but a few stray tears slipped out, and I forced myself to look away and head into the house. The last thing she needed was seeing how much this upset everyone, even if she knew it deep inside.

The moment we got back into the house, Tyreese convinced Lizzie to go to her room and wait there until lunch was ready, leaving Carol enough time to do what she had to without Lizzie getting curious and finding out. I sat down at the round dining table, still attempting to process everything as I rocked Judith in my arms. It felt as though my mind had left my body, unwilling to be a participant in all of this, and was just sort of floating above my body. Eventually, Carol came back in and sat down across from me, not muttering a word. Her, Tyreese, and I sat in silence for a while, not daring to be the first one to speak.

What do you even say in these sort of situations, the ones you least expected, the ones that delivered the hardest blow?

“I brought her some food,” Tyreese finally stated quietly. “Cleared out her room. Made sure she didn’t have any knives, anything like that.” He hesitated for a moment. “She has a shoebox full of mice. I asked her if she was the one feeding the Walkers at the prison. That was her. And at the tombs, we found this rabbit pulled apart and nailed to a board. That was her, too. She said she was just having fun.”

My stomach lurched again. This was so sick and twisted, and the fact it had flown completely under our radars, bubbling and building up all this time… We should have done something sooner.

“I was thinking, maybe she killed Karen and David. But I don’t know how she could drag them away.” I shook my head.

“She would have let them turn. It wasn’t her.” My eyes fluttered up for a moment, and when I met Carol’s, there was a strange look on her face. She knew something we didn’t…

“So what do we do?”

The dreaded question. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out what the answer was, but that didn’t make it any easier to even think about.

“I could leave with her,” Carol suggested.

“What?”

“We can’t sleep with her and Judith under the same roof,” she tried to reason.

“You wouldn’t make it. Not on your own.”

“Besides, Carol… Judith needs to be with her family, if they’re alive. We can’t keep her with us forever.” It felt strange to finally voice those thoughts, but it wasn’t the biggest issue right now.

“She can’t be around other people.”

“Maybe we could try to help her. Talk her back somehow.” I leaned against one of my hands. Though Tyreese’s gentle nature was generally appreciated, right now, it just wasn’t an option.

“This is how she is. It was already there. I didn’t see it.”

“How could you?”

“I should have seen it,” Carol barked, tears beginning to fall down her face. As she attempted to collect herself again, I continued on with my train of thought from earlier.

“So maybe we go. Me, Tyreese, and Judith.”

“You won’t make it either,” Carol quickly countered. “She can’t be around other people…”

Finally, it dawned on her. It broke me to know we were all on the same page, given how extreme it was. But there really was no other choice; it was what we had to do.

“We… we’ll get ready to go.” My voice barely came out as a whisper. “Once it’s done, we won’t ever turn back.”

Almost immediately, Carol got up and headed upstairs, leaving Tyreese and I there to stare at nothing before getting up and move through packing everything up, not speaking a word. Just as I placed the last item into Carol’s bag, my eyes moved to the window, and I watched as Carol led Lizzie deeper into the field. My heart sped up once again, and I forced myself to turn away, not wanting to watch what came next.

Only a few moments later, the gunshot cut through the grieving silence.

Tyreese and Carol had wrapped up the bodies of the girls and dug them graves, leaving them lying side-by side even in death. I tried my best to hold everything back as they finished covering the bodies and stepped back, but I couldn’t help it. Carol must have heard me whimpering, because she pulled me against her side and held me close, trying to comfort me despite the shared sadness. After the weight of everything, we decided it best to leave in the morning instead, though none of us would be sleeping that night. After the sun disappeared to allow for night, the three of us retreated inside, and the two of them sat around the table where Carol and Lizzie had once been working on the puzzle, while I moved to the couch, completely wrapped in silence.

My attention was drawn from my spiraling thoughts as Carol slid her gun across the table to Tyreese, who raised an eyebrow at her. She looked at her hands for a little while longer, before she finally explained.

“I killed Karen and David.”

Tyreese didn’t even move.

“I had to stop the illness from breaking out. I had to stop other people from dying. It wasn’t Lizzie. It wasn’t a stranger. Tyreese, it was me. You do what you have to do.”

Tyreese struggled to hold back tears, pushing the table away from him as he tried to fully grasp everything Carol had just laid on him. I kept my gasping breaths as quiet as possible as I watched his face change. 

“Did she know what was happening?” he asked, finally breaking the tension a little. “Was she scared?” Carol shook her head, which seemed to change something in Tyreese. “Was it quick?”

“Yes.”

I slammed my eyes shut as Tyreese reached for the gun, not wanting to be witness to whatever happened next. However, there wasn’t another gunshot that day.

“You do what you have to do,” Tyreese repeated, his voice calmer than I would have expected. When I opened my eyes again, he had released the gun, and looked at Carol with what almost seemed to be respect. “I forgive you. I’m never gonna forget. It happened. You did it. You feel it. I know you do. It’s a part of you now. Me, too. But I forgive you.” Carol struggled to speak as she fought her tears back down.

I would do the same when I saw Carl again.

I didn’t dare to look back at the cabin as Carol, Tyreese, Judith, and I left the grounds of the grove. We needed to start over, get away and find the others. It was no longer the oasis I’d hoped it would be, the place where we could rest for a while.

I almost let my guard down there. But, in this world, it's important to remember that an oasis is most likely just a mirage.


	32. Chapter 32

I tried my best not to drag my feet as I followed closely behind Carol and Tyreese. We’d found ourselves back on the right tracks, following the signs that advertised Terminus to any passersby. The thought that everyone was alive and waiting there for us was all that kept me going at this point, aside from the need to take care of Judith, and protect her.

“We’re close.” Carol’s words were meant to be encouraging, but they felt strangely daunting. “I’m gonna get you three there, make sure you’re safe. But I’m not gonna stay.”

We stumbled upon another sign for Terminus, and Tyreese stopped to check the map, double-checking that we were, in fact, heading in the right direction. Though I didn’t want her to leave, now that we’d found her again, I understood why she couldn’t face everyone yet.

The three of us whipped around as the leaves behind us rustled, and from the forest emerged a nearly completely decayed Walker, a pair of handcuffs clasped onto one wrist. Tyreese shook his head and stepped back a little as the reanimated corpse shambled closer.

“I can’t,” he admitted. “Not yet.” Carol shook her head and removed her knife from its sheath.

“You’re going to have to be able to.” Still, she killed the Walker for him.

Just seconds later, a chorus of snarling came through the forest, and when I turned my head, I saw a small horde coming up over the hill.

“More,” I whispered, trying to keep them from hearing and coming this way.

Tyreese quickly scooped up Carol’s bag and passed it off to her as she ran back to us, and all of us turned away and ran to the opposite side of the tracks, ducking behind a small hill that hid us just well enough that the Walkers hopefully wouldn’t find it. I shrunk back slightly as they started to come this way, but out of nowhere, a gunshot went off in the direction of Terminus, turning their attentions that way. I furrowed my brow, looking over that way as the Walkers evacuated the area.

If Terminus was such a safe place, why would there be gunshots?

Once all of them were completely gone, we made our way out from our hiding place, looking to where the herd had just gone.

“That gunfire…” I muttered, shaking my head. “It could have been from Terminus.”

“Someone was attacking them,” Carol assumed. “Or they were attacking someone.”

“Do we even want to find out?” While I understood Tyreese’s hesitance, given what had just happened before we got here, but I needed to get there and know if everyone was alive or not.

“Yeah.” I glanced at the map again, following any alternate paths that could get us to where we were trying to go. “There’s another track due east. It’ll get us there. We’ll be real careful. We’re gonna get answers.”

Neither Carol, nor Tyreese argued with me as I led the charge. We proceeded with caution, but the closer we got, the more my impatience bit at me, pushing me to walk a little faster. We’d been going for hours at this point, and I could feel dehydration starting to hit. Whether I liked it or not, we needed to stop for a few minutes. Not to mention that Judith had started fussing, meaning she either needed a change or was getting hungry. Either way, it was safer to stop.

_“You screw up, you’re on your own, Martin.”_

I snapped my head up and turned around, nearly tripping over a piece of the track in the process. Carol and Tyreese looked over my head at something, and when I followed their gaze, I could see a decrepit, small log cabin in the middle of a clearing, just beyond the trees. A car had been parked out front, and a man crouched on the ground, holding a walkie-talkie in one hand and laying fireworks down with the other.

“You don’t have to tell me,” the man said back to whoever was on the other side of the line. “I wipe my own ass.”

Whatever he was doing, it didn’t seem good.

Carol tapped me on the shoulder and raised a finger to her lips, warning me to be completely silent as she started to creep forward. Somehow, without being heard, the three of us made our way into the clearing and snuck up on the man.

“Alex didn’t get it. See, I knew the chick with the sword was bad news. Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon.”

My eyes widened, but I clamped my mouth shut, not wanting to blow our cover. That had to be Michonne! She was alive!

_“He was always a sloppy-ass mother—“_

“Yeah, I told Albert I want the kid’s hat after they bleed him out.”

My blood pumped faster as Carol pressed her gun against the back of the man’s head. The kid’s hat unmistakably belonged to Carl, but… what the hell did they mean by ‘bleed him out’? Whatever it actually was, I wasn’t going to let it happen.

“Keep your finger off the button and drop it,” Carol snarled as the man put his hands up in surrender.

_“They’re only doing eight before public face,”_ the voice on the other line informed him.

“Listen, y’all don’t have to do this. Whatever you want, we got a place where everyone’s welcome.”

He was from Terminus.

Terminus was ‘bleeding people out’.

_Goddammit._

“Shut up, man,” Tyreese snapped.

“Okay.”

“We’re friends with the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat.”

Without waiting for any sort of explanation, Tyreese yanked the man up onto his feet and dragged him into the cabin before throwing him onto the ground and tying him up so he couldn’t fight back. Carol began to remove her bag and spread things out in the cabin, clearly preparing to head in alone.

“They attacked us,” the man lied. “We’re just holding them.”

“I don’t believe you.” I adjusted Judith a little in my arms, hoping it didn’t detract from me glaring at him at all. “Who else do you have? Do you know their names?”

“We just have the boy and the samurai. We were just protecting ourselves.”

That was bullshit. There was no way Carl would have left the prison grounds without finding his father first. At the very least, they had Rick as well.

“I still don’t believe you.” Carol opened up the bag the man had brought with him, revealing hundreds of fireworks. What the hell did he need those for?

“There’s a bunch of us out there in six different directions. There was a lot of gunfire back home. We need to set off our charges all at the same time to confuse the dead ones away. That’s good for you, too.”

“No, it isn’t.” Carol sheathed her knife and picked up some sort of large item of clothing, likely to camouflage her in the woods. “There’s a herd heading toward Terminus right now. We don’t want to confuse them away. We’re gonna need their help.” She slung the bag of explosives over her shoulder and started to head toward the door.

“It’s a compound. They’ll see you coming. If you even make it that far with all the cold bodies heading over.” This man was so confident in Terminus’ defenses, but there was no way they could see one person coming, especially if that person was Carol Pelletier.

“Carol. How are you gonna do this?” Tyreese mumbled, just quiet enough so the man couldn’t hear him. She shrugged, seeming indifferent to whatever she was about to say next.

“I’m gonna kill people.”

Fair enough.

Tyreese slammed the door shut behind her, sealing us in with this crazy man. At least we’d dealt with worse.

I made my way over to a cooler that had been left in the building and laid Judith down inside, setting her down in case the man tried to jump up and attack us. Tyreese sat in the desk chair while I leaned against the wall, keeping a careful eye on him.

“She got a name?” the man asked, looking toward the cooler. Though I heard him, I chose not to answer. “Hey, she got a name?”

“Judith,” I muttered, realizing he would continue to annoy me if I didn’t answer him.

“She your daughter or something?”

My face crinkled in disgust as I finally looked at him.

“Of course not, dumbass,” I snarled. “She’s… my friend’s little sister. So, I guess you could say she’s a friend, too.”

“Huh.” He took a deep breath, falling silent for just a moment. “I don’t have any friends. I mean, I know people. They’re just assholes I stay alive with.” He laughed to himself, as though that somehow would bond us. Where was he trying to get with all of this? “The other one your friend? The woman?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“I used to have them. Used to watch football on Sundays. Went to church.” He laughed at that, realizing that sort of thing had fallen out of necessity altogether. “I know I did. But I can’t picture it anymore. It’s funny how you don’t even notice the time go by. Horrible shit just stacks up day after day. You get used to it.” I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a little.

“I haven’t gotten used to it.”

“Of course you haven’t. You’re a kid, but you’re too old to have grown up in all of this. You’re also the kind of person that saves babies. It’s kind of like saving an anchor when you’re stuck without a boat in the middle of the ocean.” Though his words cut through a little, I just shrugged and looked away. “Been behind some kind of walls, right? You’re still around, but you haven’t had to get your hands dirty. I can tell. See, you’re a good kid. You have no idea about the things I’ve done.” He looked down for a second, as though regretting what he knew he’d been through. “You’re a good kid. That’s why you’re gonna die today. It’s why he’s gonna die today.” He nodded toward Tyreese. “It’s why the baby is going to die today.”

And, there it was.

Fuming, I pushed myself off the wall and started to move closer to him.

“Or… you both can get in that car, get out of here, keep on being lucky.”

“You think you’re gonna kill me?” I laughed bitterly. I don’t know where the hell this was coming from, given that I knew a grown man was stronger than me, but for whatever reason, I didn’t feel any fear in this moment.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” he asked, cockily leaning against his knees. “How does having me alive help you? Why the hell are you even talking to me? I thought your parents would have taught you not to talk to strangers. Take her, get him to drive, take the car, and go. I don’t want to do this today.” He shook his head and leaned back again, frustrated.

“I don’t remember asking what you wanted,” I snapped.


	33. Chapter 33

_BANG!_

I jumped up and pushed myself off the wall, running to the window to check out what that explosion meant. Over the tops of the trees, grey pillars of smoke rose up toward the clouds, right in the direction where Terminus was. Carol must have gotten in, or at least close enough to set off the explosions… or Rick was tearing some shit up in there. Either one seemed logical.

“Is that Terminus?” the man asked, still not discouraged somehow.

“Yeah.” I really couldn’t confirm that. “Probably.”

“Maybe you’re gonna win this.” Something told me he didn’t actually believe that. “Maybe your friend—I mean, maybe that woman just got capped. Maybe I’m gonna be the one that gets capped when she gets back.”

“Nobody’s got to die today.” Tyreese finally spoke, standing up from the chair and going over to the other window.

“Man, if you believe that…” the guy scoffed. “Then it’s definitely gonna be you and the kids. Even if that place is burning to the ground.”

Just as he finished speaking, Walkers snarled outside the windows and emerged from the woods, stumbling closer to the cabin.

_Shit…_

I couldn’t leave the cabin with Tyreese and risk this guy getting away, but I couldn’t take all those guys out on my own, nor could we just leave them there, or we’d get overwhelmed.

Something darted in the corner of my eye, and when I whipped around, the man had gotten up and ran over to the cooler. I tried to step forward, but he placed his hands on Judith’s head and neck, preparing to break it in one swift motion.

“Back off!” he shouted, scooting the cooler a little closer to him. “Back off. Put your weapons on the ground.”

Unfortunately, we didn’t have much of a choice. I glanced up at Tyreese, who nodded, and I slowly removed the pole from my back.

“Kick them over right now. Right now.” I kicked my pole, causing it to roll under the desk.

“Please,” I begged. “Please, don’t. Don’t hurt her.”

“Go outside. Go outside!”

I started to move toward the door, when he shouted again.

“Not you, bitch. Just him.” He nodded at Tyreese. Still he hesitated. “Just one twist, man!”

“Don’t!” I screamed.

“Don’t make me!” The screaming calmed down a little, but that didn’t reduce the severity of the moment. “Go outside.” Finally, Tyreese complied and started to inch toward the door.

“All right.”

In one swift pull, Tyreese opened the door and rushed out, pushing a Walker back as he slammed it shut behind him. The man’s eyes immediately flashed to me, and I flinched a little.

“Get in the corner and stay on the ground.”

Were it not for Judith’s life on the line, I would’ve fought back. But I wasn’t going to risk her for a chance at killing him. Immediately, he rushed for Tyreese’s knife, cutting his bonds loose and reaching for the Walkie-Talkie. 

“Cynthia, do you copy?” All that came back was static, making me smirk a little. “Cynthia, do you copy?”

My heart dropped in my chest as the pounding against the side of the cabin stopped, and Tyreese’s grunts fell silent. He couldn’t be… after everything else he’d survived…

Judith began to fuss, seeming to understand what was going on, and the man held a knife out in front of her face, shutting her up before heading toward the door. He placed his hand on the handle, but just before he could go out, it flew open, and Tyreese ran in, picking him up and throwing to the ground. I shot up and moved toward the cooler where Judith was as Tyreese began to punch him in the head. The man sputtered and dropped his knife. It slid across the floor, and I ran over, grabbing it and picking it up. Tyreese glanced at me once and got out of the way, and I crouched down, holding the knife against his throat.

“Yeah. That’s how it works.”

The rage, the sadness, the terror of everything that happened in the last 48 hours began to spill over and I started to slash at his face with the knife before just landing blows.

“I won’t,” I growled, gradually growing louder. “I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!”

Tears began to spill as something took over me, something completely animalistic. I’d never felt anger this intense before, nor had I _wanted_ to kill someone this badly, but things had changed.

Despite the fact he had fallen still a long time ago, and likely died long before that, I continued to punch until Tyreese came over and grabbed onto me, pulling me away from the man. I screamed and thrashed, trying to get him to let go, but the more I fought, the less angry I became, and eventually, I was simply left with blood on my knuckles.

We didn’t have time to rest, however. I could hear more voices outside, _many_ more voices. I immediately reached for Judith, not wanting to risk something happening to her again, and Tyreese slowly made his way outside, leaving the door open. Everything was quiet for a while, until he called out to me.

“It’s safe,” he assured me. “You’re gonna want to come out here.”

I only managed to take a few steps outside the cabin before my feet turned to cement below me, and my jaw dropped. My eyes scanned over the group in front on me, spotting almost all of the familiar faces, and a few new ones.

They were safe. They were _alive_.

Tyreese grabbed Judith from my arms as I stood there, eyes still wide and my jaw still nearly on the floor. Rick and Carl went to him immediately, the former taking his daughter in his arms and holding her close to him, crying against her head.

Eventually, Carl stepped away, and we started to stare at each other from the distance. He seemed unsure of what to do, given that the last time I’d seen him, I wouldn’t even go within the vicinity of him. So I ran toward him and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug, unashamed that I had begun to sob. I’d only thought he was alive, but now having the confirmation… it made a warm feeling spread in my chest. We hugged each other for just a little longer, until he pushed away and looked at me, confused.

“What… I thought you were still going to be mad at me.” I laughed a little and shook my head.

“Things change,” I admitted. “I learned… you do what you have to do. Besides, I’m just so happy you’re alive. I can’t be mad, I—“

Somehow, we both had the same idea at the same time, which unfortunately caused a bit of chaos. As we leaned forward, our heads crashed together, causing us to cry out before laughing.

“How about I try that again?” he chuckled. I paused for a moment, trying to catch my breath, then nodded.

Taking care to not hit me this time, he leaned forward and connected our lips, just for a moment. Still, it felt electric, even if it was over just as it started.

And suddenly, we both were very aware everyone was watching us.

“We can’t turn around now,” I muttered. “They’re all staring.”

“We have to move eventually.”

Still laughing, we both turned around and headed back toward the group, trying to pretend nothing happened. But once everyone had greeted each other and we were ready to start moving again, Carl made his way over and took my hand, gripping it tight as we stayed in the middle of the group.

The worst definitely wasn’t behind us, but at least for now, we could enjoy a little thing.


	34. Chapter 34

**_I’d like to announce, right here and right now, that I am ageing everyone up. For right now, I’m having the age of Annah and Carl be one above the season number +10, so they’re currently 16. Yes, this means Judith is older as well, but I’ll work with it._ **

**_\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - --_ **

Tiny beads of sweat crawled closer to my eyes, threatening to blur my vision if they dipped down just a little further. My mind had wandered yet again, reaching back into dark depths begging to be thrown with the rest of my repressed memories. This one kept to the shallow surfaces, coming up for attention as it pleased. I couldn’t have a moment of respite, it seemed, from the images Lizzie and Mika had left in my mind. I could still clearly hear the blood dripping from Lizzie’s fingertips onto the corpse of her sister in perfect time with my heartbeat; it pounded against my ears, attempting to escape out into the world and disappear forever.

“Annah?”

I jumped a little as my attention was finally brought out of the spiral in my own head, drawing my eyes toward the boy sitting on my left. Slowly and carefully, he reached over and took the bottle from my hand, trying to save all its contents from being consumed by his little sister.

“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, shaking my head and shifting Judith in my arms to pass her back to her brother. His brows were furrowed slightly, as though waiting for me to explain where my thoughts had drifted, but I just shook my head and passed Judith to her father, appearing equally concerned as he sat across from us.

To my knowledge, no one knew what happened in the grove, save for Carol, Tyreese, and myself. The wounds were still too fresh to speak of, and if we ever did try to force the story out of our mouths, it got caught somewhere along the way, translating into nothing but more tears. I’d tried to tell Carl once, late at night when everyone else had long gone to bed, but it never managed to make its way out. Something happened to him, too—I could feel it—but it was the same scenario: the words just couldn’t come out. For now, the two of us were okay with keeping those experiences close to the vest. Besides, in any relationship, there are some things you don’t share at first.

Is that what this was?

We’d never really talked about things after we’d left the grounds of Terminus, it was just sort of a thing that existed in the ether, and everyone just sort of accepted it. I suppose not putting a definite label on things was just the order of the world now, but that didn’t make it any stranger in my mind. It still felt foreign, like I was caught in the nebulous zone I’d grown used to. But whatever this was, I had to admit, I liked it a lot more than how things had been before.

“You two should eat,” Rick suggested as he stood, making his way toward a new woman in our group. I think Glenn had said her name was… Tara? Something like that.

My legs suddenly felt as though they were made of cement, and I struggled as I attempted to stand, nearly falling back down as I did. I guess I was hungrier than I had previously thought.

“I’ll get you some food, Annah,” Carl offered, grabbing onto one of my shoulders to make sure I didn’t fall backwards. “You can wait here.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, resting my head in my hands. I could hear another set of footsteps approaching me, but I remained where I was, feeling as though if I moved, I would completely collapse.

“You okay, Annahbelle?” Maggie’s voice echoed slightly. I still couldn’t manage to look at her.

“Yeah, just hungry.”

“It hasn’t been that long since lunch. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

I remained silent for a moment, unsure of how to answer her question. I really hadn’t been hungry lately, but I didn’t know how to say that without having to get into the fact I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl who murdered her sister, which never came out anyways.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be fine once I get some more food in me.”

Though I’m sure Maggie wasn’t thoroughly convinced, she headed back toward Glenn just as Carl came back with some of the meat Daryl had caught earlier today. It wasn’t much because it had to be rationed out to everyone, but at least it would be enough to help me fall asleep tonight. I definitely needed it, after everything that had happened.

We’d been on the road for days, walking in one direction and hoping we’d find some sort of civilization that was less hostile than Terminus. Carl had told me that place had been overrun by cannibalistic assholes who trapped everyone that had made it there. He wasn’t _exactly_ sure what happened when people were taken by the main residents, but apparently, some of the people that had gone never came back, and Carl had found his dad covered in strange splatters of blood.

“I don’t know if it’s too much to ask, but… how’d you get out of the prison?” I looked to Carl, mid chew, with slightly wide eyes, not expecting to suddenly have to speak. He laughed a little but quickly tried to cover it up, as though he was afraid of what he had just done.

“Don’t laugh at me,” I teased once I’d swallowed the food. “You’re the one that caught me off guard.” As the sun began to sink below the line of trees, the mood of our conversation grew somber again, and I looked to Tyreese for a moment, who sat near Carol. They both were eating in silence. “Tyreese found—“

I paused for a moment, almost saying the names of the girls who didn’t make it. For the time being, Carol, Tyreese, and I agreed that we wouldn’t mention the girls, as though they’d never been found, and when we felt ready, if ever, we’d tell people what happened.

“Uh… he found me with your sister. People were shooting at us, so he pushed me toward the woods and he managed to grab a bag with some baby supplies in it before he joined me. Eventually, we stumbled on Carol, thankfully, and now here we are.” Carl finished off his food and smiled at me. “What?”

“I’m glad you got out of there. For a while, when we couldn’t find anyone else from the prison, I thought…” He trailed off before shaking his head. I hesitated for a moment, my hand hovering slightly in the air, before I reached out and placed it over his own.

“I thought the same thing. I tried to hope for the best, but the further we got, the more of it I lost.” I paused for a second. “I’m glad you got out of there, too.” I smiled as he turned his hand over and laced our fingers together.

Strangely, spirits seemed higher the next day as we marched on in hopes of finding somewhere permanent to set up. Smiles adorned faces traditionally wrought with frowns, and a few laughs even perked up every now and then. Judith gurgled and cooed happily as I bounced her up and down with each step.

The snap of twigs and leaves quickly dissolved the happy atmosphere, and anyone with a gun in their possession immediately dropped what they were holding and pointed their weapon straight at the source. Thankfully, it was just Daryl, who put his hands in the air the moment he took in the scene in front of him.

“We surrender,” he joked, lifting the chain of squirrels he’d caught. I shook my head as Carl lowered his gun, turning my attention back to him.

“So, you really ate 112 ounces of chocolate pudding?” Carl scoffed, but he couldn’t keep down an almost proud smile.

“I regret telling you that.” I shifted my arms a little, adjusting Judith as she started to slide down.

“Jesus, I would barf.” Even the thought of consuming that much pudding made me gag slightly. “Props to you for being able to keep all that down.”

“It was the most I’d had in a while.”

Carl’s expression started to fall again, his eyes taking on a glossy distance. I swore, for a moment, that I saw him shudder, his brain drifting back somewhere he clearly didn’t want to. Something happened to him, too, on his way to Terminus. He wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, but between the looks that crossed his face and the distressed shouting in his sleep, I knew I shouldn’t push him on it. Still, it worried me.

“Carl—“

“Help!” An unknown voice shouted, somewhere nearby. “Help, anybody! Help!” Despite the desperate pleas, Rick hesitated, putting one hand up to keep the rest of us from rushing in.

“Dad, come on,” Carl urged. “Come on. Come on!” A tiny smile worked its way onto my face when Rick finally caved and led all of us to the source of the noise.

A man dressed in priest’s clothes wildly kicked his legs as he crawled further back on a tall rock, desperately attempting to get the Walkers clawing at his feet to leave. Any other person would have brought out their weapon by now and stabbed the undead through their skulls, but for whatever reason, he just kept screaming and kicking as he attempted to get to the center of the rock. Rick, Michonne, Carl, and Daryl killed the Walkers surrounding him, but with all that shouting and noise, there was a good chance he’d drawn the attention of more.

“We’re clear. Keep watch,” Rick ordered. The threat had been taken care of, but the man refused to move from his spot, seemingly frozen in fear. He stared at each of us with dinner plates for eyes, seemingly unable to register that the Walkers were dead. “Come on down.”

Still panting and panicked, he finally slid off the rock and landed on the ground. He suddenly began to twitch and sweat profusely as he looked Rick in the eyes as though he was about to collapse.

“You okay?” Right as the words left Rick’s mouth, the man keeled over and let loose the contents of his stomach, forcing up an odor far viler than the rotting flesh of the Walkers. I quickly turned my gaze away, unwilling to watch or accidentally catch a glimpse at the liquid on the ground.

“Sorry,” the man muttered, his voice strained and weak. “Yes. Thank you.” He straightened his robes, as though somehow attempting to maintain some of his lost dignity. “I’m Gabriel.”

“Do you have any weapons on you?” Clearly, Rick didn’t want to mess around. Even the most fragile of people could be capable of robbing us blind. But Gabriel’s chuckle seemed to put him in a position of disbelief.

“Do I look like I would have any weapons.”

“We don’t give two short and curlies what it looks like,” Abraham—one of the new people Glenn had met on his way to Terminus—growled.

“I have no weapons of any kind,” Gabriel assured us. “The word of God is the only protection I need.”

I tried my best to keep my eye rolls discrete. Before the world fell, that sort of thing might have worked, but now? That kind of thinking was the exact way people got eaten.

“Sure didn’t look like it,” Daryl joked.

“I called for help.” The slight laugh in Gabriel’s voice didn’t exactly put me at ease. “Help came.” Everyone just sort of stared at him, unsure of how to respond to that. This guy was deep into his own faith, to the point where it was dangerous out in reality. “Do you have-have any food? Whatever I-I had left, it just hit the ground.”

“We’ve got some pecans.” Carl reached into the pocket of his flannel and extended the small amount of nuts out to Gabriel. Seeing them was a bittersweet moment, given where Carol had found them, but Carl actually offering food and kindness to a stranger wasn’t something I remembered. At least, it had been quite a long time.

“Thank you.” Gabriel immediately began to down the nuts. When Carl stepped back, I smiled at him, causing him to blush. Judith cooed against my shoulder, likely confused as to what was going on, drawing Gabriel’s attention to her. “That’s a beautiful child.”

That seemed to soften Rick for a moment, the tiniest smile inching its way onto his face. It went as quickly as it came, however, and everyone tensed again.

“Do you have a camp?”

“No,” Rick answered curtly. “Do you?” Gabriel began to tremble again, as though the thought of shelter struck up some negative memories.

“I have a church.”

“Hold your hands above your head.” That seemed to work for Rick. Gabriel did as told, allowing Rick to search him for any weapons he may have been lying about. “How many Walkers have you killed?”

“Not any, actually.” Under any other circumstance, I would have found that suspect, but this guy honestly seemed like he’d managed to survive holed up in a building and running away up until this point.

“Turn around.” Without waiting, Rick grabbed onto Gabriel’s arm and yanked on him, turning him to face the rock. “How many people have you killed?”

“None.” As expected, Gabriel appeared appalled by the notion of killing another human. Rick finished with his inspection and turned Gabriel back around.

“Why?”

“Because the Lord abhors violence.” I bit down on my tongue as Rick stepped closer to Gabriel, trying to intimidate him into talking.

“What have you done?” Gabriel was certainly trembling and looking around too often for someone completely innocent. I had to hand that to Rick. “We’ve all done something.”

“I’m a sinner.” Gabriel’s voice shook again. “I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers.” We weren’t going to get anywhere with this guy.

“You said you had a church?” Michonne asked, trying to make this conversation productive. Gabriel nodded, still a little twitchy.

“It’s just this way.”

I fell in step beside Carl as Gabriel led us toward his church, nudging him with one of my elbows to draw his attention toward me. 

“When did you start believing in people?” I asked lowly, trying not to draw too much attention our way.

“Sometimes, it’s what you have to do.” Our attentions were drawn away from each other at the sound of Rick and Gabriel’s voices.

“Hey, earlier, were you watching us?”

Daryl had come back at some point last night, claiming he’d felt like someone was watching us from the bushes. However, the next morning, when Rick did a perimeter check, he claimed there weren’t any signs of anyone. That didn’t mean someone hadn’t been there.

“I keep to myself,” Gabriel stated calmly. “Nowadays, people are just as dangerous as the dead, don’t you think?”

“No. People are worse.” Rick’s statement was blunt, but extremely truthful. Everything Carl told me about Terminus was enough evidence of that.

“Well, I wasn’t watching you. I haven’t been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I’ve gone before today.” He paused for a moment, the expression on his face shifting to something almost devious. “Or maybe I’m lying. Maybe I’m lying about everything and there’s no church ahead at all. Maybe I’m leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels.” His clear attempts at a joke fell flat. Gabriel stopped in his tracks, watching nervously as everyone glared at and circled him. “Members of my flock had often told me that my sense of humor leaves much to be desired.”

“Yeah, it does,” Daryl snapped.

As Gabriel turned back around, he smacked his head against some leaves, but barely reacted, more focused on the fact all of us were still staring him down. Thankfully, he led us through a clearing with a church standing tall and proud among the foliage. The formerly pristine, white paint had yellowed, and some of the boards were beginning to break and rot, but overall, it seemed like this place could work. It seemed sturdy enough, at least. Gabriel approached the doors and moved to open the doors, when Rick called out to him.

“Hold up. Can we take a look around first?” Rick was already climbing the steps. “We just want to hold on to our squirrels.”

Reluctantly, Gabriel handed over the keys. Rick threw open the doors, and he, Michonne, Daryl, Carol, and Glenn slowly made their way through the church, making absolute certain no one was hiding and waiting to ambush us. While they did their inspection, I turned back to Carl, the tiniest of hopeful smiles on his face.

“This could be really good,” he muttered. “It seems safe, and if he’s really been camped out here for this long, he’s got to have a lot of food.”

I knew we couldn’t stay here forever, given how crowded together all of us would be, but I didn’t dare say that right now. Honestly, I was just enjoying how far Carl had come since the last time we’d been together. He seemed so optimistic, and so willing to accept that some things just go the way they’re meant to, whether we like it or not. I couldn’t help myself, and in a moment of bravery, I kissed his cheek and took his hand with the one of mine that wasn’t balancing Judith against my hip. His eyes widened for a moment, before he settled into a smile, right as everyone came back around.

“I spent months here without stepping out the front door,” Gabriel assured as Rick gave back his keys. “If you found someone inside, well, it would have been surprising.” Rick still gawked at Gabriel, unwilling to loosen up even a little.

“Thanks for this,” I smiled, dragging Carl with me as I stepped up to speak to Gabriel.

“We found a short bus out back,” Abraham announced. “It don’t run, but I bet we could fix that in less than a day or two. Father here says he doesn’t want it. Looks like we found ourselves some transport.” Though Rick was clearly listening, but his attention was focused on his little daughter. “You understand what’s at stake, right?”

“Yes, I do.” Rick’s answer remained stern as he refused to make eye contact with Abraham.

“Now that we can take a breath—“ Abraham quickly cut Michonne off.

“We take a breath, we slow down, shit inevitably goes down.”

“We need supplies,” Michonne argued, “no matter what we do next.”

“That’s right.” Rick nodded and directed his attention back toward the rest of the group. “Water, food, ammunition. Short bus ain’t going nowhere.”

I followed Carl into the darkened building, settling into one of the pews toward the front. Rick took Judith from my arms as Carl and I began to unload the bags.

“How’d you survive here for so long?” our leader questioned, directing his glare toward Gabriel. “Where did your supplies come from?”

“Luck,” Gabriel shrugged. “Our annual canned food drive. Things fell apart right after we finished it. It was just me.” I kept wary eyes on Gabriel as Carl took Judith back, allowing his Dad to help with the rest of the unpacking.

“Come here, Judith,” he cooed.

“The food lasted a long time. And then I started scavenging. I’ve cleaned out every place nearby… except for one.” Rick eyed Gabriel suspiciously.

“What kept you from it?”

“It’s overrun,” Gabriel stated a little too quickly.

“How many?”

Inwardly, I had to admit, I was impressed with Rick’s change in direction. It seemed strange for him to so suddenly want to help Gabriel, but it was clear to me that Carl trusted him, so another person on his side—and the leader of our group, at that—definitely couldn’t hurt. There was something about Gabriel that made my gut twist slightly, but overall, he seemed okay at the very least.

“A dozen or so. Maybe.” That didn’t seem so bad. Our group could take that on easily.

Rick turned his attention toward the adults in the group, as though silently asking who would go.

“We can handle a dozen,” he asserted after no one spoke.

“Bob and I will go with you,” Sasha piped up after another moment, stepping closer to Gabriel.

I hadn’t known her well from before everyone got separated, but from what I could tell based on these last few weeks, she was always willing to step up to the plate. She genuinely had the heart of a lion.

“Tyreese and Annah should stay here, help keep Judith safe.” Sasha treated that like it was meant to be a badge of honor, but I knew it really was an attempt to discourage me from stepping up and attempting to go with them.

“That’ll be okay?” Rick had his attention on Tyresse, not really offering me a choice. Something told me I’d be held here against my will… not that I minded keeping Judith company.

“Sure,” Tyreese smiled. “You ever need me to watch her, need anything for her, I’m right here.”

“I’m grateful for it. And everything else,” Rick assured him.

“I’ll draw you a map,” Gabriel offered, bringing to conversation back to its original focus.

“You don’t need to. You’re coming with us.” Gabriel’s expression quickly dropped and he began to stutter, a fearful smile tugging at his lips occasionally.

“I’m not gonna be of any help,” he tried to deflect. “You saw me. I’m no good around those things.” His argument did nothing to sway Rick, unfortunately for him.

“You’re coming with us,” Rick asserted again.

There was something deeper about Gabriel’s fear, further down than just leaving. Sure, he really didn’t have the stomach to be out there in the thick of things—that was true. But there was something more to it. While I admired Carl’s belief in the man, there was part of me that had to agree with what I knew Rick was thinking—something was off about Father Gabriel.

“Mind if I steal Carl for a moment?”

I laughed at Rick’s question, staring at him incredulously.

“He’s your son.” I gestured toward him as he passed Judith off toward me. I eyed both of them warily as they spoke in the set of pews across from me, but their voices were too low for me to make anything out. However, based on Carl’s expression, something heavy was bring laid down.

Judith’s content babbling brought my mind back into itself for a moment. Just glancing down at her big, hopeful eyes brought back the image of her sat on a blanket on the grass, completely unaware of the scene in front of her. Blood dripped from young fingers down onto the dirt, spreading through the roots of plants and turning the soil dark red. Lizzie’s eyes were filled with an intense fury as she stared me down, and I found myself completely frozen as she picked up Judith, and this time, drew the knife she had straight across the baby’s neck.

“Annah? Annah, what’s wrong?”

I abruptly sat up straight and stared right at Carl, who watched me with a concerned expression. I had to force myself to blink and shake my head, reminding myself that wasn’t real. Judith was safe… but the others weren’t…

“Nothing,” I answered shortly, placing Judith into his hands and standing up to move into the corner of the room.

I still couldn’t face it all, but eventually, I’d have to at least come to terms with what we’d done.


	35. Chapter 35

**_You know, I wanted this to come out at 9:00, like when_ The Walking Dead _actually premiered, but that didn’t happen because life. Nonetheless, happy 10 th anniversary to _The Walking Dead _!!!_**

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The church had fallen relatively silent not long after Rick departed with his selected group. The belongings we trusted to be unloaded were freed from their containers, and everyone had taken to either laying down for a while or wandering the grounds, attempting to figure out exactly what this place was. Tyreese had taken Judith long ago, and Carl retreated for a while after his dad left, leaving me to lay down on one of the pews and stare at the ceiling. There were a few, miniscule holes in the wood that would allow water to seep through during a rainstorm, but at the moment, they showed off little beams of sunlight.

“Annah.”

What an oddly metaphorical time to notice the sun.

I sat up slowly, my back cracking in several places as it adjusted its position. Moving one leg up onto the wooden seat, I turned and faced Carl, who sat down across from me with a half sort of smile on his face.

“You wanna walk around?” he asked. “I’m getting bored.” I couldn’t help but laugh. A walk out in the warm sun would actually be nice, given that this place suddenly had become a little chilly.

“Yeah, definitely.”

The two of us shot up from the pews and took enthusiastic steps out the doors, allowing the light to blind us and stop us in our tracks for a moment. I felt a tickle sneak up my nose, and Carl jumped out of the way right as I sneezed. Embarrassed, I froze for a moment and stared at him, acting as though me sneezing in front of him was something new, but thankfully, he chuckled before taking my hand and resuming our walk. The grounds were relatively inconspicuous, save for the oddly healthy grass. Somehow, it hadn’t become completely overgrown, but there was no way a lawn mower would be working by this point. But, other than that, the wear and tear seemed pretty normal for an old building, and there wasn’t an overwhelming stench of death radiating from anywhere.

Maybe Gabriel really was just jumpy.

The illusion of complete safety came crumbling down as my eyes scanned across the chipped siding, noticing a strange pattern of scratches that didn’t look like they would’ve been done by nature and weather.

“Hey, Carl.” He turned on his heel and followed me over to the wall—not that he had much choice in the matter. “What the hell is this?”

It was difficult to tell from a distance, but the closer we got, I noticed the scratches were actually spelling something out. It looked like the words had been dug in with knives, deep enough to indicate anger further than what the words themselves implied.

‘You’ll burn for this’

My gut began to twist itself up again as I read over the words over and over again, acting as though they’d magically change to something much more comforting if I stared hard enough. Carl’s grip on my hand tightened slightly as he leaned back, unable to completely draw himself away from the horrifying discovery. I, on the other hand, wanted to run from here, yanking my hand from his and hastily moving around the corner. I thought getting out of there would somehow make me feel better, but now I was tuned in to notice when something wasn’t right, I only found my fear growing. The blue shutters were horribly scratched up, the same depth that the words had been. Someone had tried to use the knife to get in, from the looks of it.

“Carl!” Without a missing a beat, he skidded around the corner and came to my side, following my point to the marks on the shudders. In the background, I could hear the group coming back from the run, but I was far too focused on this to pay them any mind, until Rick came around a bit later to find us.

“Hey,” he greeted, making his way closer. “Tyreese said you two were out back.” Carl and I didn’t respond, still intensely staring at the scratch marks. “Come in. We found food. a lot of it.”

“Good,” Carl responded absentmindedly. Finally, Rick caught on to the fact we were looking at something specific and followed our gazes and stepping closer to the building.

“What is it?” He managed to snap Carl out of the daze a little bit as he leaned over slightly, giving his son no choice but to look at him. Carl moved his finger back and forth to show off the range of the gashes.

“These scratches. They’re deep.” Rick got a closer look at the point of interest, his brows moving up slightly at the unsettling irregularity. “Like knives or something.”

“Someone was trying to get in,” I observed, my mind immediately jerking back to the words forever scratched into the side of the church, taking on a more ominous meaning the longer I tried to put all of the pieces together. “We found something else— _I_ found something else.”

Carl and I led his father around the side, and as we did, I watched Carl’s hardened expression begin to waver. Despite what we’d found, I knew he still wanted to trust this place—maybe not for the rest of us, but for Judith. She needed a roof over her head, somewhere safe and stable to grow up. He wanted to trust Gabriel for his sister.

I’d try, too.

“I don’t know what happened, but whatever it is, we can handle it. Doesn’t mean Gabriel is a bad guy for sure, but it means something,” I assured the pair, meeting eyes with Carl once I’d finished speaking. I swore I caught just the tiniest hint of a smile, easing the tension of our discovery just ever-so-slightly.

Rick, on the other hand, seemed no more at ease after my little speech. He hadn’t trusted Gabriel in the first place, and this only further confirmed his vague suspicions. Gabriel had said he was the only one in the church for a long while, meaning the message was directed right at him. Still, I didn’t want to completely give up on this place.

“Carl, Annah, get inside.” Rick’s voice sounded weak. He refused to remove his hand from the markings, reading the words thousands of times over.

Rather than arguing, the two of us turned around and headed back inside. Michonne, Sasha, Gabriel, and Bob were already well into unloading the food, but Carl and I still volunteered to help, opting to move the canned good back into one of the rooms for storage. We moved swiftly and silently for a while, unsure of what to say to each other following our discovery. I allowed my mind to wander as we worked, reflecting over selective parts of everything that happened. For just a second, I considered allowing my wounds to open again, but now just wasn’t the right setting… nor was I ready. Instead, I focused back on something more pressing.

“So… maybe this is a bit too ‘teen movie cliché’ for the end of the world, but…” I stopped working, turning to face Carl directly. “…what exactly is going on here?”

I jumped back as Carl whipped around, dropping several cans in the process. His face went completely red as he turned his attention down to the now-dented aluminum, making sure none of the contents inside had come spilling out. Thankfully, as we felt around the floor, there didn’t appear to be any liquids, or any sort of fruits, veggies, or beans staining the ground. With the current crisis averted, we turned our attention back to the matter previously mentioned, just staring at each other in silence for a long while. Neither of us wanted to be the one to answer it, but that didn’t mean we weren’t trying to take this idea somewhere.

“Well, I—it’s—“

“I just, I don’t really see the point in, you know, the whole ‘dating’ thing if there’s nowhere to go. But we’re… I don’t know, I’m confused.” The awkwardness, at this point, was palpable in the air, threatening to strangle the both of us if someone didn’t do something _fast_. “We haven’t been together long enough for boyfriend and girlfriend just yet, so maybe… we’re just ‘together’?”

Thankfully, that seemed to resolve the situation, and Carl’s confused and embarrassed expression eased again.

“We’re together,” he asserted.

I felt something bubbling in my chest, forcing a big, stupid smile up onto my face. Both of us remained frozen in our places, and now, a different awkwardness fell over the room, making Carl and I stand there for a moment before we got back to putting cans away. I made my way back over to our stack, and as I passed him, he set his hand on my arm and pulled me a little closer to press a kiss onto my cheek.

If I wasn’t already about to burst from embarrassment, that definitely did me in.

By the time we finished getting everything unloaded, and put away, the sun had set, and I could smell cooked food and the smoke of a recently extinguished fire coming from outside. The spices and temptations wrapped their fingers around me and dragged me out the door, compelling me to grab a white paper plate. I couldn’t contain myself, making my way down the buffet and grabbing a little bit of everything before finding a seat. Carl went through the same process just a few minutes after me, and once his food was finished, I felt him drape an arm around my shoulders.

I watched as our group laughed and went back for seconds, all signs of fear or weariness completely discarded for the time being. We’d been through more than we should have, and we knew there would be more to come, but in this moment, we were allowed to forget all of that. There was a normalcy about the companionship, a reminder of what the world used to be like—and the hope that it could one day be like this again, without fear of being attacked by the dead at any moment. It was optimistic, sure, but maybe one day.

“I’d like to propose a toast.”

The different, indecipherable conversations came to a stop, and everyone turned their attention toward Abraham, who stood up in front of all of us, a wine glass raised in the air. I didn’t know much about him, or Rosita and Eugene—the other two people Glenn had found him with--, but they seemed nice enough, from what I could tell.

“I look around this room… and I see survivors.” He took care to stop and look over all our faces, to place extra emphasis on his point. “Each and every one of you has earned that title.”

‘A survivor’… The things I had done to get there…

The blood dripping from Lizzie’s fingers beat to the tune of my heart, rapidly increasing the longer the images played in my head. Mika’s wound seeped out red liquid, her body laid out on the ground completely motionless. Lizzie’s insane eyes shifted into fear, begging for us to forgive her, and right as I heard Carol’s gunshot go off in my head, Abraham spoke again.

“To the survivors.”

I sat up a little straighter, attempting to collect myself and calm my breaths. I didn’t dare to look in Carl’s direction, instead turning completely away so he couldn’t see as tears started to roll down my cheeks. The other lives I’d taken, save for Sophia’s, they were guilty; they were trying to hurt us. But Lizzie? She didn’t know better. Something was genuinely wrong with her, and she needed help, but instead, we decided to stick a bullet in her head.

I’d agreed to it.

“Is that all you want to be?”

I used the hand on the outside of the embrace to wipe away the last few tears, then turned back to focus on Abraham. I could see Carl staring at me, concerned, out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t want to give that the time of day yet.

“Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? ‘Cause you can do that.” I raised an eyebrow. What exactly was he proposing here? “I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that’s just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington, and he will make the dead die, and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip.” Right as Abraham finished speaking, Judith cooed, leaning against her father as she began to grow tired. “Eugene, what’s in DC?”

Eugene froze for a moment, unprepared for everyone’s attention to be focused on him, then he cleared his throat and turned to face a few of us, his hands trembling slightly.

“Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart.” His answer was short and to the point, but it gave us at least a good baseline of information.

“However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there. Safer than you’ve been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one.” Everyone’s eyes fell toward Rick and Judith. “Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there… who don’t got nothing left to do except survive.”

No one said a word, some still processing what Abraham had laid on them, some unsure of how to respond, but most waiting for Rick to say something. Aware that the groups’ eyes were on him, Rick chuckled, causing Judith to babble and reach up toward her dad’s beard, pulling on a couple of the hairs.

“What was that?” Rick asked, raising the pitch of his voice to make his daughter smile. “I think she knows what I’m about to say. She’s in. If she’s in, I’m in. We’re in. Let’s do it.”

The group clapped and cheered, ecstatic at the prospect of going inside walls one again, this time with the reinforcements we would need to completely start over. While I wanted to be happy, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lizzie and Mika, the images getting more vibrant, the cacophony of the drops of blood hitting the ground growing louder and louder and echoing against my brain. Without a care for who saw me, I shot up and moved around everyone seated on the floor, making my way back to what we’d deemed as the kids’ room and slammed the door shut. It felt like a hand was tightening around my chest, squeezing it tight; tingles enveloped my arms and legs, and I felt like I had to both shrivel up into myself, and violently throw my limbs out, away from me. I feared someone coming in through the door, only furthering the panic in my mind. Everything crashed and swirled around inside my head, slamming head-first against each other for a long while, until somehow, it slowly started to come back down, and my breathing returned back to normal. It suddenly felt like all the life had been sucked out of me, and I collapsed down onto the couch, wanting nothing more than to just get a few hours of sleep without nightmares.

I’d only had my eyes closed for a few moments, when the door slowly creaked open, and Carl peered his head in. I tried my best to pretend I was asleep, not wanting to worry him more than anything else. I heard him take a deep breath in, like he was about to speak, but whatever he wanted to was abandoned in favor of laying on the ground, right beside where I was. Not long into me having my eyes closed, all the images and memories started to come back, screaming at me.

I couldn’t keep doing it like this.

“We had to kill Lizzie and Mika,” I whispered, moving an arm over my eyes to block the tears from slipping down. I heard Carl sit up, and I flinched as he reached out and grabbed my other hand.

“What?” His voice wavered. I hesitated a moment, the words catching in the back of my throat as I attempted to get the story out. It fought me, trying to stay hidden and deep down, but if I didn’t let them out, this cycle of panic would just keep going. Finally, I was able to sit up again, and I moved my arm away to look Carl in the eyes.

“Tyreese… he wasn’t the first to find me,” I admitted. “Lizzie and Mika killed some walkers that were coming at me, and we found Judith and Tyreese. At first, everything was fine, but… Lizzie started saying some really weird things, and she’d get distressed and cry whenever we killed a walker. She thought they were just people but different, and so she…” Carl’s grip on my hand tightened as I struggled to relive the worst of it. “She killed Mika… and she wanted to kill Judith, too, to show us what she meant when they turned. Carol, Tyreese, and I tried to find some way around it, but we couldn’t see a way for Lizzie to be around people that wouldn’t put them in danger, so Carol took her out into the fields, and she… she killed her.”

While I felt the weight leave my chest, I wasn’t any more reassured than I had been before I let it out. My body felt weak and uncertain, like my arms would fall off at any second, and without thinking, I rolled off the couch and onto the floor, falling into Carl’s embrace and beginning to sob. I hated that was part of my past, something I had agreed to and allowed to happen. I wanted to be as far from it as possible; I wished I could say I’d disagreed and tried to fight it, but I couldn’t. Still, it felt a little better to let all of it out.

“As long as we’re sharing…” Carl’s words were barely more than a whisper, and I could feel him begin to tremble as he retreated back into his own trauma. “When my dad, Michonne, and I were on our way to Terminus, we got caught by this group, and one of the men, he…” I felt him begin to choke on his breath. “…he pinned me down, and he tried to…”

Slowly, I rose up from my position, staring at him with wide, horrified eyes as I put the pieces together. I felt an intense disgust and hatred course through me. I wanted to find that men, that group, I wanted to bury the axe on my pole deep into his head, I wanted to…

Instead, I tightened my grip on Carl, pulling him closer into a hug.

“You don’t have to finish that. I… I understand.” I wiped away a couple tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Carl.”

We both sat there, staring and hugging and crying, allowing our catharsis to completely ride out before we finally came back to awareness, and I couldn’t help but shake my head.

“What a pair we are,” I muttered, shaking my head. Despite the trauma that we’d just come back to, we laughed a little.

Before we could keep talking, there was a considerable commotion outside. It sounded like the doors were thrown open suddenly, and I heard several voices shouting all at once. Without hesitating, Carl and I shot up and rushed out the door. Several members of our group were crouched on the ground, surrounding… something. Carl and I pushed our way closer, and I clapped a hand over my mouth in disgust as I stared down at Bob, one leg missing and poorly bandaged. Sweat poured down his forehead, giving his skin an intense shine.

What the hell had taken his leg?


End file.
